<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Common Scents by geenajay</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23704333">Common Scents</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/geenajay/pseuds/geenajay'>geenajay</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Same But Different [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, M/M, Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:41:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>51,258</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23704333</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/geenajay/pseuds/geenajay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Continuation of The Same But Different - as I want it to be written!<br/>So it continues from my Original Ending - if you hated that then please don't bother. (But if you didn't read it, then you will be sooo confused by this! :0)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Same But Different [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/714735</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. To Continue From the Original Ending - Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I’m finally ready to start writing the conclusion to this story.<br/>I’ve read and re-read through all the comments and feel assured that most people would like my original idea continued, although I am aware that I didn’t explain Dean’s transformation very well – I’ve tried to make his state of mind a bit clearer and hope it comes across as more believable.<br/>To those who DIDN’T like this ending to the story, I apologise. But I’m sure that you’re all capable of simply stopping reading a story that you don’t like, in the same way that you can simply close a book or turn a television off, so please feel to do so – I won’t be insulted if you don’t bother to continue the tale.<br/>This doesn’t follow the series at all with the exception of the boys now living in the Bunker (for which I will always mourn the preceding loss of Bobby in the season). But I have always loved Jody as well, and I have always felt that Dean and Claire should become good friends.<br/>I will try and get this done as soon as I can, although I know from experience that it takes me longer than I expect to get my chapters the way I want them to read.<br/>I hope those who do bear with me enjoy.<br/>And, as always, I do welcome comments… seriously, I do. (Seriously! :0)<br/>God bless you all and keep you safe.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam drew the Impala up into yet another motel parking lot in yet another small town, ran his hands through his long hair and increasingly longer and scruffier beard, and sighed.</p><p>Seventeen weeks.</p><p>Well… nearly seventeen weeks. Sixteen weeks, five days, seventeen hours and fifty-seven minutes… not that Sam had been counting…</p><p>Sixteen weeks, five days, seventeen hours and fifty-seven minutes weeks since he had last seen his big brother.</p><p>Sixteen weeks, five days… to hell with it: it didn’t <em>matter!</em> The <em>only</em> thing that mattered was that Dean had walked out of the Bunker: walked out of Sam’s <em>life</em>… and somehow completely vanished from the face of the Earth.</p><p>Not even Castiel had been able to find him, although the angel had tried repeatedly to do so: searching every inch of the entire world personally over and over again, regretting the Enochian warding he himself had once placed on Dean to keep him safe because it now hid his best friend from his own angelic eye.</p><p>Castiel had searched nearly as desperately as Sam himself had.</p><p>As Sam <em>always</em> would. For the rest of his life if necessary.</p><p>He would <em>never</em> give up looking for his brother.</p><p><em>Never</em>.</p><p>With yet another sigh Sam checked his cell phone. No messages. Again.</p><p>Not that he had expected to hear anything really.</p><p>But he always <em>hoped.</em>..</p><p>Sam had put the word out around the Hunting community that Dean was missing - taken by something unknown for reasons yet to be uncovered. He might have been possessed: he might be seriously hurt, possibly amnesiac. Whichever, whatever; the younger Winchester had issued strict instructions that if anyone thought they had caught even a possible <em>glimpse</em> of his brother then they were to call Sam <em>immediately</em>.</p><p>Nobody else was to approach Dean at all…</p><p>
  <em>Nobody.</em>
</p><p>Because if they <em>did</em> approach Dean, then they might find out about the <em>other</em> time line that Sam was worried about.</p><p>The really <em>important</em> one that made him all the more anxious to find Dean with every passing day. And for nobody <em>else</em> to.</p><p>And Sam was all the more terrified every day he didn’t.</p><p>Because <em>this</em> particular time line would only last approximately six months.</p><p>About twenty six weeks.</p><p>And Dean had already been gone for nearly seventeen of them. And Sam had no way of knowing how many weeks… <em>it</em>… had happened before them.</p><p>Because Dean simply hadn’t stayed around long enough to <em>tell</em> him: whether from shame, or embarrassment, or just plain and simple shock and trauma from being trapped in that strange and frightening parallel world that his gentle and timid look-alike counterpart had been so terrified of, just when <em>whatever</em> had happened that had resulted in his big brother now being pregnant.</p><p>Dean was pregnant.</p><p>Sam just couldn’t really get his head around it: his brother was <em>pregnant</em>. Somehow, somehow, Dean had returned… ‘different’. Slightly less <em>human</em> and slightly more… whatever the other Dean had been… an omega, he had called himself…</p><p>… but… that didn’t matter.</p><p>Sam’s big brother was lost somewhere and pregnant and needed <em>help</em>… and that was all that concerned the younger Winchester.</p><p>To find Dean, and bring him safely home to the Bunker and help him with whatever he was going through…</p><p>… because his big brother was the <em>only</em> thing that had ever really mattered to Sam. <em>Period</em>.</p><p>If only Sam could just <em>find</em> him.</p><p>It could only have been a matter of minutes that Dean had managed to slip past them and… Sam hesitated to use the word ‘escaped’… <em>left</em> the Bunker.</p><p>Sam had just returned from a grocery run and Castiel <em>swore</em> that he had only just checked on his brother, but… Dean had gone.</p><p>And he and the angel had looked <em>everywhere</em>.</p><p>But there had been no trace of Dean. No trace at all.</p><p>It was with another sigh that Sam reached into the rear seat of the Impala for his travel bag, out from which he had just about lived out for the past nearly seventeen weeks. The young man couldn’t remember the last time he had slept in his own bed… or even the last time he had walked through the Bunker’s solid outer door…</p><p>It just wasn’t <em>home</em> without his brother.</p><p>He had picked this motel only because of the diner across the street: as much as he didn’t want to <em>not</em> be searching for his brother for a minute… a minute that might provide that one vital clue as to Dean’s whereabouts… he still needed to eat. He still needed to <em>sleep</em>, if only for a couple of hours.</p><p>He needed to shower, have a shave and wash some clothes… to hell with it: that could wait. Finding Dean was more important. He’d just grab a meal and try to have a powernap…</p><p> Well, perhaps he’d just grab a quick shower.</p><p>His cell phone buzzed with a text even as Sam exhaustedly began to plod across to the reception.</p><p>It also bleeped with a picture message.</p><p>The young man fumbled in his pocket for the small device and glanced at the new image tiredly: why the hell had someone sent him <em>that?</em></p><p>It was an image of a two cars: the first a smart black Mercedes, and behind it was some old sedan that looked like there was probably more rust beneath the paintwork than metal. The picture had been taken from slightly to the side and from the front of the Merc, as if a red light camera had caught it, and showed its driver clearly: a young blonde woman wearing far too vivid lipstick.</p><p>The figures in the vehicle at the back were more obscure: some elderly, grey-haired man in the driver’s seat and someone sitting behind him in the rear of the car.</p><p>Sam frowned. And read the text: “Check the passenger at the back.”</p><p>His brows furrowed, Sam looked at the photo again, using his fingers to enlarge the image on the small screen as much as he could…</p><p>And then his bag was being discarded without a second thought to just drop to the dusty clinging dirt and Sam was calling the sender in a sudden rush of nervous anticipation: “Jody? <em>Jody!</em> Where is this? Where was this taken? <em>When</em> was it taken…?”</p><p>“D’ya think it might be him?” The sheriff had been biting her nails from the instant she had sent the photo. “I’ve been telling a few half-truths, Sam: I put out the word that Dean is a vulnerable adult who has disappeared after possibly witnessing a violent crime, possibly abducted by the perp so it’s vital that he not be approached in case he’s in danger, and instead any info however slight was to be sent immediately to my department marked for my attention only. It works sorta like a Silver Alert but not in the public domain…”</p><p>Sam was already examining the picture again even while she was talking: “It’s not quite clear enough… Jody? Can you send it to my laptop so I can enlarge it…?”</p><p>“I already have, boy. Here’s as big as I can get it…”</p><p>And Sam’s cell phone was binging with another picture message. The young man hurried to open it… and felt moisture pricking at the corners of his eyes…</p><p>For the distortion caused to the pixels in the enlargement focusing on just the passenger in the rear of the second vehicle may have made the image appear slightly grainy…</p><p>… but it was definitely Dean sitting in the car, staring idly out of the rear window as it had been driven along.</p><p>He looked thinner in the face than he had done previously, which the younger man was instantly concerned about. And he looked sad: the green eyes, although their natural vividness was hidden by the distortion of the expansion, held a deep sorrow. And a slight anxiety: his eyebrows were pulled together enough to form a deep furrow between them…</p><p> Sam hated seeing that anxiousness on his brother’s face. He hated it even more that he wasn’t there by Dean’s side to help him take at least half the strain…</p><p>Fuck it all: he should be by his brother’s side, <em>period</em>.</p><p>Dean needed help. He needed help like he <em>never</em> had done before… and <em>Sam</em> should have been right there by his side.</p><p>He had to <em>find</em> him.</p><p>“Sam? You okay? It is <em>him</em>, isn’t it?” The sheriff’s concerned voice cut through his anguished thoughts.</p><p>The younger Winchester recovered himself immediately: “Yes, Jody. <em>Yes!</em> Where <em>is</em> this? Is this today…?”</p><p>There was a hesitant pause from the other end of the line…</p><p>“Jody? How long ago was this…? <em>Please</em> tell me it’s recent…”</p><p>“It was certainly fairly recent, Sam,” she hastened to assure him. “Y’all would never believe how many sightings, both reported and images like these from traffic cameras etc from around the country I’ve had to sift through every day for <em>weeks</em>. I’ve been inundated…</p><p>I just wanted to be sure before I got your hopes up, ya know…?”</p><p>Sam’s heart swelled with even more love for the brunette: she was probably the closest thing he would ever have to a mother… besides his brother of course… “Thanks Jody.”</p><p>The sheriff blinked back a tear at the emotional sincerity in her boy’s… er… the young man’s voice. “According to the date stamp this was taken four days ago, and it’s come in from the County’s department in Tulsa…”</p><p>“<em>Tulsa?</em> Tulsa, <em>Oklahoma? </em>What the hell is he doing <em>there? How</em> the hell did he even <em>get</em> there…? I…”</p><p>“We’ll find him, Sam.” The younger Winchester could have cried at the calm confidence in the sheriff’s voice. “It’s Dean, and we now know where he was just a few days ago…</p><p>You just gotta hold on, because we’re gonna <em>find</em> him, boy. Ain’t no doubt about that.</p><p>Now. You git yourself over to meet me in Tulsa and we’ll organise a plan.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Jeez, boy, you look <em>terrible</em>.”</p><p>Despite himself, Sam snorted. He knew he looked terrible… because he knew he <em>felt</em> terrible.</p><p>The instant the call with Jody had disconnected, Sam had got back into the Impala and driven just about continuously for over twenty four hours to get to Tulsa, Oklahoma, only stopping when he needed either to fill up with gas, to use the rest room or to grab something trashy and tasteless that was easy to eat in the car, (which he was never going to admit to Dean that he had done… <em>ever</em>.)</p><p>He was exhausted. But it didn’t matter. He was getting closer to finding Dean.</p><p>Oh God, <em>please</em> let him be getting closer to finding his brother.</p><p>“So what have we got?” Sam was already shaking off the weariness as a lifetime’s training of putting one’s personal discomforts aside to focus on the matter at hand kicked in as he stepped into the room…</p><p>… for Jody had beaten him to their arranged rendezvous, a motel just off the main freeway on the edge of the city, by nearly half a day and already had an evidence board set up… and Sam wanted to <em>see</em> it. “Sheriff? Have you managed to narrow our search of field down at all? Do we know where that photo <em>actually</em> came from…?”</p><p>“Hold ya horses, Sam. Hug first! Then sommat to eat… You look like ya haven’t been taking care of yourself and that ain’t gonna do your brother no good! And what is this? You been growing a bird’s nest, boy?!”</p><p>The young man couldn’t help but laugh as the brunette tugged jokingly, but quite firmly, at the shaggy uncontrolled growth that had sprouted from his chin and neck in the preceding couple of months since his brother had gone missing. He had kept his hair clean as carelessly and as often as he had washed his body, but anything more than the basics had been forgotten: nothing had mattered to him, nothing would <em>ever</em> matter, as much as finally finding Dean.</p><p>But he accepted the hug from Jody with a slightly lighter heart.</p><p>“He’s gonna hate it, Sam!” The sheriff teased good-naturedly. “All that straggle! That’s the first thing he’s gonna gripe about when we get him back: ya <em>know</em> he is…”</p><p>The dimples went deep for the first time in a long couple of months: “I’m counting on it, Jody. Give him something to moan about… Take his mind off… off…”</p><p>“Off what he’s going through: having a baby ya mean?” Jody nodded. “No wonder he freaked out on ya… He really needs our help, Sam.”</p><p>Her heart broke a little as she noticed Sam’s eyes glisten momentarily… and then the young man blinked and they were dry and determined once more. “He’s going to hate that I told you, Jody. He’ll be so angry at me… and ashamed of himself, even though he’s got no cause to be: <em>he</em> can’t have helped what happened. He’s somehow going to have a child: <em>that</em> ain’t normal… but he’s going to feel that it’s his fault because that’s what he always does, I…”</p><p>She put her arms around him again, but this time it stood for far more than a friendly greeting between old friends. This was heartfelt. “He’s no <em>reason</em> to be ashamed, boy. He can’t have helped what’s happened to him… and he needs his family around him. We just gotta remind him of that and <em>keep</em> reminding him of that, is all.”</p><p>Her own tears gathered as suddenly Sam’s own strong arms were wrapping tightly around her as well, almost crushing her momentarily… and his words were whispered hoarsely but sincerely into her shoulder: “Thanks, Jody.”</p><p>“You’re welcome, boy.”</p><p>“Sam? Hey!”</p><p>He turned to greet the newcomer with a surprised smile <em>and</em> a question. “Hey, Claire. What are <em>you</em> doing here?”</p><p>The sheriff snorted: “You ever tried keeping a secret from a Hunter? You and Dean ever managed to…?”</p><p>Sam’s smile slipped a little even as the beautiful young blonde closed the motel room door behind her and advanced on him for a hug: “Nah… sooner or later it would all come out. Caused just about every bad decision that either of us have ever made…”</p><p>“<em>Exactly</em>.” Jody agreed. “Claire’s as worried as I am about Dean’s disappearance. And she wanted to know why he vanished like that… didn’t take her long to hack the messages on my cell.” She gave Sam’s arm a sharp jab. “Dunno <em>who</em> could have taught her <em>that…”</em></p><p>“Is it true?” Claire demanded. “Dean’s been turned? He’s… become something else? And is having a… a… <em>baby?</em> How the hell is that possible?”</p><p>Sam sighed. But he appreciated the genuine concern in her voice.</p><p>And he appreciated even <em>more</em> so the complete lack of any kind of judgement in it.</p><p>He glanced at Jody, who shrugged her shoulders: “I’ve told her what I know, Sam. Which to be honest, ain’t that much. You wanna elaborate…? Just a <em>little, </em>boy<em>?</em>”</p><p>With a sigh, the young man moved away from both the women to sit on one of the twin beds in the room, stretching  his long legs out in front of him with relief after all the hours spent in the impala. He really wasn’t looking forward to answering questions but he knew that the sheriff had waited long enough.</p><p>“He literally vanished in front of me.” The memory of that day was still vivid in Sam’s mind. “We were trying to catch a were… well, it turned out to be <em>two</em> weres and a mastermind warlock…” he shook his head at himself: that part wasn’t important. “We had tracked one to a warehouse in Kansas City. Then Dean saw this… he said it was glowing blue. I couldn’t see it… asked him what it was. <em>Stupid</em>.” He admonished himself. “I should have <em>thought</em>... Should have dragged him <em>out</em> of there…</p><p>It was a trap for him, and I let him walk straight into it.”</p><p>“Wasn’t your fault, boy.” Jody was watching the young man’s expression carefully and was <em>not</em> going to let him borrow his brother’s capacity for self-condemnation. “<em>You</em> didn’t know what was going to happen…”</p><p>The only sign that Sam was listening was yet another big sigh.</p><p> “So what happened?” Claire asked desperately: the more she knew, the better she could help her friend and (although she would never admit it) almost father-figure. “What was the blue thing?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Sam had to admit. “Not even now. To me it looked like a stone but Dean… <em>both</em> Dean’s… said…”</p><p>“Wait! What? <em>Both</em> Dean’s?” The two women spoke almost in unison: at any other time it would have been amusing.  “How can there be two?” “What are you talking about, boy?”</p><p>“Dean touched the blue-glowing stone and vanished, and in his place was suddenly left <em>another</em> Dean!” Sam had no choice but to talk over them. “He <em>looked</em> exactly the same, and sounded exactly the same, but he <em>wasn’t</em> the same.</p><p>He was from another world… dimension… I don’t what or where or how. But he was a male that could give birth… he called himself an <em>omega</em>, whatever one of those is… and…</p><p>… he was <em>terrified</em>.</p><p>Of other people. <em>Everyone</em>.</p><p>The other Dean was scared stiff of everyone and everything, because of what he was. He was an omega and in <em>that</em> world, they are the lowest.” Sam felt tears prickle again as he remembered his brother’s look-alike and how nervous he had been all the time: Jody and Claire stared at him with consternation as the unpleasantness of the situation and the pressure caused by it became more and more obvious. “The lowest in status… <em>their</em> status.</p><p>They’re like…” the young man tried to think of a way to explain… “it’s like… in that world, they’re descended from animals: dogs, <em>wolves</em>, although Dean… <em>that</em> Dean… actually seemed to be from a feline lineage… whereas we in this dimension are descended from apes. They certainly have a much better sense of smell than us and use it as a major sense.</p><p>Alphas are the leaders of the society… think of our wolves and other animals that run in packs. The Alphas are the ones with the power. The betas are the majority and the basis of that society: they’re more like you and me, only the women can give birth. And the omegas… they’re the…”</p><p>“Lowest?” The sheriff wasn’t making a joke. Rather, she was frowning.</p><p>“In the worst way, Jody.” Sam couldn’t help from growling at the thought. “They were thought of as little more than sex-objects: <em>objects</em> being the word. From what <em>that</em> Dean told me, his life was a misery: even though he was married… mated, they called it… to <em>my</em> look-alike of that world and <em>his</em> brother before you ask…” he ignored the startled gasps of both the women, “men… women… <em>Alphas</em>, would come up to him continually and ask for… <em>expect</em>… him to serve them sexually.</p><p>Because he was an omega… <em>is</em> an omega. Never mind that he was marr… mated, and had children, that’s what it was like. And that was the least of it! Omegas were vanishing, being taken for the… the… sex-trade. They would be drugged to keep them in this thing called a heat… again, think of dogs and that thing the females go into when they’re ready to breed… and they would never be found…</p><p>Dean… <em>tha</em>t Dean… was absolutely petrified: both of being <em>away</em> from that world and his much-adored children, and of having to return <em>to</em> it! And he was worried sick for <em>my</em> Dean… our Dean…”</p><p>“Why? <em>Dean’s </em>not an omega! I mean…” Claire’s words slowed as she thought through what she had just been about to say… “<em>you’re</em> saying that’s what he is <em>now</em>. That somehow there he…  But he wasn’t when he <em>got</em> there: he was still human…”</p><p>“Like I said, the other Dean had a very strong sense of smell,” Sam reminded the blonde. “I mean… <em>really </em>strong! He had never even been in the Bunker before… that’s where we live, Dean and I… <em>my</em> Dean, I mean… anyway I took him back there because he didn’t feel safe anywhere else… he really was <em>terrified</em> of anyone and <em>every</em>one: it was almost funny but… it <em>wasn’t</em>… and he just took one deep breath as he walked in through the door and knew which was Dean’s room… <em>my</em> Dean’s room… and which was mine, and what we had eaten there recently and…”</p><p>“Take a breath yourself, Sam.” Jody was amused despite the seriousness of the conversation. “Y’all must be running out of air in ya lungs!”</p><p>And indeed the young man <em>did</em> have to take a deep inhale as he remembered… “He said I made him feel safe because I smelt exactly like his mate, his Alpha. The Sam of that world: his own damn <em>brother</em>. He said my scent was weaker but it was still the same…</p><p>So… he was worried that Dean’s…”</p><p>“He was worried that Dean would be mistaken for an omega in that world because if <em>you</em> shared the same aroma as your counterpart, then it would be logical that the both of <em>them</em> did as well.” The practiced intuition of the long-serving cop was making Jody already far ahead of him. “And if he got mistaken for an omega, and they got treated like you <em>said</em> then… Shit, Sam,” her deep brown eyes were as full of troubled sorrow as he had ever seen them, “what the hell must he have gone through? On his own there with no one to help him?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” The younger Winchester hadn’t been able to think about anything else for the last few months. “That’s the worst of it: I just don’t <em>know</em>.</p><p>He got <em>himself</em> back, Jody. Somehow. The stone began to glow again and swapped them back because <em>he</em> did something in <em>that</em> dimension and got <em>himself</em> back: I was absolutely <em>useless</em>.”</p><p> Both women remained momentarily silent, such was their intense concentration on his words.</p><p> Sam couldn’t help but feel it as condemnation.</p><p>“But he was really… erratic… from what happened. I mean… everything he’d been through, and he was so…</p><p>And then we didn’t handle it very well… Castiel and myself, I mean… and, well, Cas immediately noticed the… the… the baby inside him, which was a tremendous shock to Dean. He was traumatised anyway when he returned: he had several broken bones and he had been stabbed...”</p><p>“<em>Stabbed!</em> You never told me <em>that</em>, boy!” “Is he alright, Sam?”</p><p>“Yeah… yes, Claire. Cas healed him immediately we realised, but… looking back, it’s obvious now that Dean was in shock when he returned. Whatever happened in that fucking world…</p><p>And Castiel told him… in Cas’s own unique way…” the blonde snorted at this description of the angel’s bluntness despite herself, “that he was pregnant. Dean could barely take it <em>in</em>, and then I got… well, I… I should have been a lot calmer than I was…</p><p> Between us we got him so agitated that finally Cas had to subdue him…</p><p>And when he woke up… he <em>ran.</em></p><p>Shit. I should have been there when he woke up. I should have been there to tell him that <em>whatever’s</em> happened, I’m there for him.”</p><p>“As am I.” The deep gravelly voice made them all start. Castiel had materialised in the corner of the room, complete with two bags full of steaming hot take-out. “I am so sorry, Sam. <em>I </em>should have been there when he woke: I should never have left his side. He was so upset at what I had done… I should have apologised…”</p><p>“It’s okay, Cas.” Sam interrupted. “We were both at fault that day. Only thing that matters now is to find him. <em>Hey!</em> When did you get here anyway?” he realised.</p><p>“He was waiting for me when I got here.” Jody replied although her eyes were narrowed: she hadn’t missed the sudden ending of the tale, nor Sam’s reluctance to let the angel elaborate further. There was something that the boy didn’t want to tell her to do with Dean’s disappearance, and she had the horrible feeling that she wasn’t going to like whatever it was when she <em>did </em>find out.</p><p>“He flew here the moment you called him and has been searching the area, but in vain…”</p><p>“There’s nothing here within a hundred mile radius, Sam.” Castiel agreed with a miserable down-turn to his mouth. “<em>Dean</em> is not here. I have searched everywhere down to the smallest molecules for any trace of him. So I thought I should come and meet the good lady Sheriff here and try to perhaps find the car or something…”</p><p>“I keep telling ya, Cas: it’s <em>Jody!</em> The boys and Claire have told me enough about ya for y’all to be family.”</p><p>“Thank you.” The dark-haired angel looked genuinely touched at her words, but then he was remembering the bags of food. “Did I stay away long enough? I tried to. But I must admit I agree, Sam, that Dean will be extremely perturbed about the uncontrolled growth of hair on your head when we do find him: it is somewhat…”</p><p>“Messy.” Straggly.” “Unkempt.” The disapproval was unanimous. Sam sighed, but then realised…</p><p>“That was one of the first things we discussed when I <em>got</em> here! How long have you been there <em>really?</em>”</p><p>Castiel had the grace to look abashed. “The Sheriff said that she wanted to talk to you: your explanation of how Dean is having a child has been… somewhat deficient in its detail. She hoped that you would expand on it, and asked me to take my time getting you all something to eat. Only…”</p><p>“You flew, so you were probably back almost before you had gone.” Sam finished the sentence for him. “Still not nice to eavesdrop, Cas. But… thanks for giving us a few minutes.</p><p>Have you any other questions or can we get on?” This was to the two females, even as his attention was already returning to the evidence board.</p><p>Although the younger Winchester was stopped in his tracks by Jody’s sarcastic drawl: “Actually, I got <em>lots</em>. Everything you’re <em>not</em> telling me to be exact.” <em>God</em>, she reminded Sam of Bobby sometimes! But then the brunette was relenting: “But, like I said, food first… you seriously do look like death, boy. And finding your brother safe is the main objective… preferably <em>before</em> he gives birth.</p><p>And ain’t <em>that</em> something I’d never thought I’d ever say!</p><p>The truth can come later.”</p><p>The young man couldn’t help but stare momentarily down at his own boots, unable to meet her eyes… as did the angel, but at his own highly polished shoes… but then the urgency of the situation was overtaking him again.</p><p>“So, okay. What have we got?”</p><p>Sam actually meant the evidence board…</p><p>But what he <em>heard</em> was: “Thai alright?” And the young man was having boxes of steaming pad thai noodles thrust at him: “Chicken or shrimp? Or both?”</p><p>Actually Sam ended up eating <em>three</em> boxes of the tasty temptations… and savouring every single morsel… as they all studied the maps and pictures that the sheriff had pulled together. Just being in company… familial company… brought it home to the young man how alone he had felt since his brother’s disappearance.</p><p>And just how much he had missed him.</p><p>“The picture was actually taken on Harrison Street in somewhere called Pawnee in Oklahoma.” Jody explained through a mouthful of noodles. “Five days ago now.”</p><p>“Shit, I’ve wasted a whole day getting here!” Sam was distraught. “We’re twenty-four hours further behind him that we could have been!”</p><p>“But we’ve got an area to look in, Sam.” Jody was calm. “He’s relaxed in the rear of that car. He knows who he’s with: he’s not under duress…”</p><p>“He’s <em>anxious</em>. Look at him.” The young man all but exploded.</p><p>“He’s worried about the imminent birth,” Claire told him. “Of course he’s anxious… and probably scared. <em>I’d</em> be <em>terrified</em>.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, that’s <em>years</em> away, girl.” Jody was quick to put in.</p><p>The blonde snorted: “Won’t ever happen!”</p><p>“<em>Anyway,</em>” Sam interjected. “Have you got anything else? Anything on the car? The other faces?”</p><p>The sudden silence in the room told him the answer.</p><p>“Give us time, boy,” the sheriff made sure to sound confident. “We’ll find him.”</p><p>Sam bit his lip and tried his hardest not to be sarcastic: that was <em>Dean’s</em> forte.</p><p>God, how he missed him.</p><p>Forgetting the last couple of forkfuls of noodles in the third box, the younger Winchester stepped forward to study the map of the area that Jody had pinned up. “So… tell me about Pawnee then. What sort of town is it? One where everybody knows everybody else’s business? Is there anybody worth sounding out about any strangers moving in?”</p><p>“No idea, Sam. I haven’t even been there yet. It’s part of the reserve…”</p><p>“Reserve?”</p><p>The tribe. The Pawnees. Native Americans. The town is named after them, and that’s where a lot of them now live.”</p><p>“I checked the whole area, Sam.” Castiel said with genuine sadness in his face. “Dean is not anywhere there.”</p><p>“But he will need a doctor… or medical help.” Claire spoke up. “With what he’s going to be going through imminently, I mean. Dean’s gonna need <em>someone</em>.”</p><p>“So… that someone was probably the man in the car. And he brought our boy into the town for some reason…  Dean looks anxious, but it’s not ‘cos of the driver. He’s relaxed with <em>him</em>.”</p><p>“So he’s an ally: whoever he is.” Sam studied what he could make out of the driver from the picture: the elderly lined face; the silvering sideburns; the slightly outsize nose, trying to memorise what details he could in case they should ever meet in the street.</p><p> “And it’s not a large place, so it was for a specific reason that he went there… And well, let’s face it, Dean won’t be getting any smaller… how soon do’ya reckon this is gonna happen, boy?”</p><p>Sam considered: “The other Dean said the omega’s gestation period lasted approximately six months…  twenty six weeks… and I don’t when exactly… whatever… happened, but he’s already been missing over sixteen of them since he returned from that world…”</p><p>“Do you think he was raped, Sam?” There was a pause as the older adults in the room winced at Claire’s directness…</p><p> “That would seem to be the case, yes.” The angel’s tone was grave.</p><p>“Cas! For goodness sake!” Jody admonished him. “<em>And</em> you!” She started on the blonde.</p><p>“What? I’m only saying what everyone else is thinking…”</p><p>“Well, it ain’t <em>helping!</em> And it ain’t important, either. All that’s imperative is getting Dean back safe: he needs our help no matter <em>what</em> the situation!”</p><p>“And he’s got it, Jody! I’m not saying he won’t! Dean’s <em>family</em>, and he’s got my support unconditionally! I’m… just seeing it how it probably is… and why he ran away… and why we’re gonna get him back and damn well get <em>through</em> to him that he’s not on his own.”</p><p>There was another pause in the room… and more than one pair of eyes had to blink again tears of pride at the young blonde’s words.</p><p>But then Sam’s focus was suddenly back on the board again: “Wait. Pawnees? What do we know about them?”</p><p>“In what way?” “What d’ya mean?”</p><p>“Well… many Native Americans have stories that mention Spirit animals…”</p><p>“The <em>other</em> Dean was protected by a Spirit animal.” The mention of that had immediately caught Castiel’s attention as well. “It saved <em>our</em> lives as well!”</p><p>“Spirit animal?”</p><p>But Jody was ignored momentarily as Sam hurried to fire his laptop up: “So is it coincidence that he’s here? Who <em>are</em> the Pawnees?”</p><p>They all crowded around as the young man found a website and began to read the information out loud. “Pawnees. One of the indigenous peoples that lived on this land before the arrival of the white man, now federally recognised… hunters, not farmers… known for their bravery in battle, and who have had representatives serve in all American conflicts…”</p><p>Sam couldn’t help but give a sharp, short inhale of breath as he continued: “Just like most of the tribes, they believe in symbiotic relationships with nature and the animals around them to the point of it being thought of as spiritual… but the Pawnees also have deities. Their gods are <em>stars</em>, particularly the Evening Star, the goddess of darkness and fertility, and the Morning Star, the god of fire and light.</p><p>But they also believe in the <em>Moon</em> god Pah, and his lovely consort Shakuru, the Sun goddess.”</p><p>There was a silence in the room.</p><p>Broken by the angel. “I definitely felt the presence of… being <em>observed</em> from the heavens, Sam: I felt… there is no other to put it… <em>eyes</em> on me.</p><p>And Dean… the other Dean… was convinced that there was a female moon god: <em>she</em> was protecting him… as indeed she, or something, proved to <em>be</em>. That spirit animal was definitely sent by <em>something</em>, Sam. We both <em>saw</em> it: well, you were definitely aware of its presence in that warehouse. And the werewolves knelt to it in awe, and the warlock… his magic was destroyed as if it were <em>nothing</em>… and that thing had extremely powerful magic!</p><p>Sam?”</p><p>“He’s here, Cas.” The young man was trying to hide how emotional he was suddenly feeling: he felt almost nauseous with nerves and relief, and he was aware of how his hands were suddenly trembling uncontrollably. “He’s <em>here</em>. Somewhere. We’re so <em>close</em>.” Sam didn’t even realise that he was rambling somewhat. “After all these months, we’re so close to <em>finding</em> him.”</p><p>The mood in the room lightened momentarily… only to be immediately dashed once more by a sad Castiel. “But he is <em>not</em>, Sam. I have looked everywhere within a hundred mile radius since the sheriff contacted you. And not just once, but… many times in case.</p><p>Dean is not <em>anywhere</em> in this vicinity.”</p><p>There was another poignant pause in the room: no one wanted to be the one to break the silence…</p><p>Well… except perhaps for Claire.</p><p>“But this is <em>Dean. He’d</em> know how to draw sigils to hide himself, even from <em>Castiel.</em> And with you saying there’s an actual <em>god</em> involved… well, then... If he doesn’t want to be found, then he’s not gonna be <em>found</em>.”</p><p>“Goddess.” The angel corrected. “A moon <em>goddess</em>: the other Dean was very particular about that.”</p><p>But Sam was frowning… and thinking the young blonde’s words through: “Okay… You’re right. He’s been wanting to hide from us... that’s been just about the whole problem…”</p><p>“But I have looked <em>everywhere</em>, Sam.” Cas argued. “There <em>is</em> nowhere for him to hide.”</p><p>“No.” The young man suddenly realised: “No! Claire’s got it <em>spot on!</em> Dean’s not trying to <em>hide</em>: he just doesn’t want to be <em>found</em>. He doesn’t want to be found.</p><p>Cas. Can you search the area again… but this time… Don’t <em>look</em> for <em>Dean</em>.</p><p> Just…</p><p>… look and see if something strikes you as abnormal.”</p><p>“I don’t comprehend, Sam.”</p><p>“Try again, but this time… look in case there’s anything you <em>can’t</em> see.” The sheriff was also following the logic. “In case there’s anything hidden <em>between</em> the molecules…”</p><p>“Between the…” It was almost worth it… Sam couldn’t help but grin to himself… to see the angel’s expression so… completely <em>nonplussed</em>. But then Castiel was nodding grimly and disappearing from the room in a sudden noise of flapping wings.</p><p>“I better head there as well.” The young man was already packing his laptop away and reaching for his bag. “We’re still a good six or seven hours from Pawnee. I need to be there when Cas finds… whatever he finds…”</p><p>“He can come back and tell us, boy. In the meantime, you need to get some sleep. Ya look like ya haven’t slept for days: now… git on that bed. We’ll wake you when there’s news…”</p><p>“No, I need to be…”</p><p>“<em>Samuel William Winchester</em>: now you do as you’re darned well <em>told</em> and get some sleep! Ya ain’t helping your brother none by driving yourself into the ground looking for him! The hard bit’s gonna be <em>after </em>we find him… so you get yourself on that unused bed and I don’t want to hear from you for at least four hours!</p><p><em>Go on: git!</em>”</p><p>Yeah, Jody really did remind Sam of Bobby…</p><p>… And there was no way he was going to even <em>dare</em> to argue…</p><p>“Yes, ma’am. But… promise me you’ll wake me as soon as Cas returns.”</p><p>“Of <em>course</em> we will.” The younger Winchester felt slightly suspicious of the innocence in both the woman’s tones… but… actually… he was absolutely exhausted. A power nap couldn’t do any harm…</p><p>Half an hour, or so…</p><p>Cas probably wouldn’t be that long anyway…</p><p>Please god, let the angel find something. Let him find Dean.</p><p>Jody helpfully turned the main light off even as he shrugged his boots and lay down on the covers of the single bed still in all his clothes. Claire snickered a little and called out “<em>Goodnight</em> Sam,” earning herself a punch on the arm and a hissed reprimand from the sheriff as they both left the room to give him some peace.</p><p>Sam lay awake in the gloom, thinking of his missing brother: worried about what he might be going through on his own. This was ridiculous: he shouldn’t be wasting time, he should on the way to Pawnee. He should just get up and get going… and risk the wrath of the feisty sheriff at a later date…</p><p>He was just going to get up off the bed and be on his way…</p><p>Sam opened his eyes again and groaned slightly. Reaching for his cell, he came to fully with a start upon the realisation that some seven hours had somehow passed since he had ‘just’ lain down.</p><p>Looking across the motel room, he could see Jody and Claire now also returned… and Castiel, sitting at the table with the women with maps spread all across the cheap laminated surface.</p><p>Sam sat up with a gasp: “<em>Cas!</em>”</p><p>“Hey, sleeping beauty! You go and grab yourself a shower and we’ll bring you up to speed!”</p><p>“But…”</p><p>“Go.”</p><p>“I’ll get you fresh coffee.” The angel broke into the discussion, unintentionally diffusing the increasing tension. “There’s <em>news</em>, Sam.”</p><p>“And more bagels!” Claire ordered.</p><p>“And more bagels.” And with that Castiel was gone again.</p><p>Sam really wanted to cross to the table and see what was being scrutinised so microscopically… but instead he grabbed his bag with a sigh and went into the bathroom. It wouldn’t do to argue with Jody… <em>especially</em> after she had been so right about how much he had desperately needed sleep…</p><p>He managed to make sure it was the shortest shower he had ever had in his entire life though.</p><p>They were all back to sitting around the table when Castiel returned with three steaming hot cups of coffee and a hot chocolate drink for himself. And a box full of mixed bagels.</p><p>“You gonna tell me what’s going on?”</p><p>“You and the sheriff were quite correct, Sam: Dean has hidden himself <em>between</em> the molecules.”</p><p>The younger Winchester waited. With increasing impatience. “<em>And?</em>” he couldn’t help from snarling eventually.</p><p>“For goodness sake, Cas! You’ve been watching too many of those darned talent show reveals where we all die of boredom waiting to be told who’s going home! <em>Tell Sam what you found!”</em></p><p>“I have checked and rechecked to ensure that I am correct, Sam.” The angel was finally on a roll. “I searched the town but found nothing that did not seem unexpected. So then I moved into the surrounding lands and again found nothing… until I got to these hills that are highlighted on these maps…”</p><p>The young man couldn’t help but try and steal a glance: as indicated, these were much more detailed and focusing on Pawnee itself and the surrounding area, rather than Oklahoma in general. Jody and Claire had obviously been busy during his sleep. But then he was listening intently again…</p><p>“… and as you suggested… I was standing on the side of this hill and I became aware that there was a track… a driveable track… coming from the direction of the town and heading towards a large group of trees at the end. The track was large enough… and dusty enough that I followed it to the edge where it entered the field… and there was a creaky old gate and a mail box.</p><p>And so I came back to where I had been standing and I began to look closer at where the track seemed to lead, and I realised that I could see the leaves of the trees… but at an angle somehow,, as if I wasn’t staring at them directly but was having my attention forced towards them…</p><p>And if I changed <em>my</em> angle, then the leaves would also adjust…</p><p>It took me some considerable time to comprehend that my vision was indeed being… tangented from seeing whatever was right in front of me… somehow. Indeed, in that place, I simply can <em>not</em> see what is right in front of me! My vision, when I am looking at, or trying to, at whatever it was that should be there… is being slid away to the side somehow and away from my ability to fully absorb what I should be seeing. I admit to finding the experience somewhat… <em>disconcerting</em>… and actually… extremely <em>vexing.</em>”</p><p>“He returned here and we looked the area up on Google maps.” Claire told Sam. “It took a bit of working out which was the actual area that Cas was finding this anomaly in: we highlighted a lot of the satellite images of fields and tracks and printed them out while you were asleep…”</p><p>“It’s this one, we’re pretty sure.” Jody uncovered a picture and handed it over to the young man. “Castiel has immediately recognised all the other buildings as ones he has checked. And he recognises this trail as matching the one that caught his attention. But he has never seen the dwellings there…”</p><p>“They are hidden from me, Sam.” He had never heard the angel sound so troubled. “I have been kept repelled from buildings by sigils and held prisoner by anointed seals of holy oil, but I have never before had my senses toyed with so <em>definitively</em>…</p><p>I took a copy of this image with me back to the scene that I had indentified.” He pointed out the details to the young man as he spoke. “It is definitely the place: I myself flew up so as to be able to compare the image taken as it is from so far above…</p><p>There is the track with the same sweep of curve: it enters the image from exactly the same corner and exactly the same angle, and the trees, although now even more grown than they were in this picture as the satellite would have passed over a few years ago, are in the same position.</p><p>So it is the same place.</p><p>Which means those two small buildings there…” Castiel indicated the cabins, whose simple roofs could be clearly made out on the photograph, half beneath the shady covering of the thick branches and leaves to give a little protection away from the intense heat of the Oklahoma sun. “… should also be in the same place… but I can’t see them.</p><p>When I look where they should be, even looking down on them, it is as if my attention is just… being side-swiped by something. I can’t seem to see them directly: my vision just… slides off and I can do nothing to stop it. I am extremely… nonplussed. I can see them on this old grainy image, but not in reality…”</p><p>“So you think, this is where <em>Dean</em> is?” Sam hadn’t really heard a word since he had been handed the print of the photograph: instead he was running his long fingers over the image of the buildings, trying to get the slightest sensation beneath them of much-needed physical proximity to his brother. “One looks much bigger: or at least, the roofs do. Two separate chalet-type dwellings? Or a cabin and an out-house? But this is where he <em>is…?”</em></p><p>“This is where he’s gotta be, boy.” The sheriff agreed. “Castiel has made several visits to confirm that there’s no mistake and we’ve not muddled the area up with anywhere else: we’ve been over and over the google images and discounted all the other fields and tracks. It’s this meadow and this track, and just these two small buildings that he can’t <em>see!</em>”</p><p>“Which is <em>extremely</em> vexing.”</p><p>The angel’s grumbles were ignored. Sam tapped his nails against the glossy surface of the pictures and felt his spirits soar: “Dean’s <em>here</em>.” For the second time recently in a long few months, his lips lifted enough for his cheeks to remember how to dimple, although his eyes had to blink away always-threatened  tears at the same time…</p><p>“Yes, he is.” Jody looked at the young man and understood. “I’m sure of it. We know he’s been in this area of Oklahoma: we <em>know</em> that something is somehow blocking Castiel’s view of whatever is in this building… it would make sense that the two are connected…”</p><p>“Then…” Sam felt so momentarily overwhelmed with relief that he couldn’t think… with the exception of one single consuming thought: Dean was in one of those two building, so that’s where <em>he</em> should be as well. “I should be there. I shouldn’t have wasted time sleeping. I should be there right now! I… <em>shit</em>: I’m still a good six hours away from him! I should have just driven there immediately Cas started searching; I should be there right <em>now!</em>”</p><p>“Boy. Calm down. You slept because you desperately needed sleep: believe me you did, ya looked like you were gonna fall down standing up. And <em>you’re</em> gonna need the time while we’re all driving to Pawnee to work out how you’re gonna handle meeting up with your brother again without blowing it!”</p><p>“I… what?”</p><p>The sheriff was on a roll. “Look, Sam. You know I love ya and god knows I love ya brother. And I know you boys both have your issues and your quarrels: that’s family. And I <em>know</em> that I’m not being told the truth here and I probably never will… But sommat happened…</p><p>And Dean ran from you.</p><p>
  <em>You!</em>
</p><p>In this situation, where he needs more help than he’s ever needed before, he <em>ran</em> from you!</p><p>So…  You use this time to work out what you need to say, and what you need to do, because he don’t need upsetting any more. Not if he’s in the condition that we think he is. His thoughts are gonna be all over the place and he might well be… somewhat <em>temperamental</em>: that’s probably more likely than the alternative at the moment.</p><p>So, you need to keep yourself calm and think all your arguments so you don’t mess it up. Because Dean can’t be upset, and more importantly, he can’t be forced to feel he has to <em>run</em> again.”</p><p>“He’s not going to.” Sam told her. “I’m going to find him and I’m going bring him home where he belongs.”</p><p>“That isn’t quite what I meant…”</p><p>“I <em>get</em> what you meant, Jody. And I appreciate it. But I need to find my brother and I need to bring him to the Bunker where I know he’ll be safe.”</p><p>“Well, you gotta be the <em>calm</em> one about it, boy.” Jody tried again. “Cos he ain’t.”</p><p>“Got it, sheriff.”</p><p> But even as he was speaking, Sam was already on his way to the motel room door: his holdall clutched in one hand and the photo, tight to the point of being slightly screwed up in his grip, in the other. And he <em>wasn’t</em> going to be turned back.</p><p>Jody sighed and hurriedly began to get her own things together. “Just wait for us in Pawnee, Sam.” She called after him. “We’ll meet up again and make a plan. Just don’t go after Dean without us being there.</p><p>C’mon, girl,” this was to Claire, who was also hastily throwing her toiletries into her main bag and packing all the photographs and documents up. “Let’s go and help the one idjit to find the other idjit… and hope that neither one makes this whole darned situation any <em>worse</em> than it is in the meantime!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So. Do we all know the plan?”</p><p>It was actually quite simple. They had met up some hours down the road since leaving Tulsa, (to Sam’s disgust and at Jody’s insistence) in a diner in Pawnee, to ensure that they had all had a rest and some warm fresh food in their bellies before continuing with the hunt under cover of the darkness of a countryside night.</p><p> They had also used the time spent munching burgers and salads to detail exactly where the unknown dwellings were, and to decide how best to proceed…. which, as Sam was determined he was going to look for his brother no matter what… and god, demon or nothing else had better get in his way or <em>else</em>… and Castiel still couldn’t actually physically <em>see</em> the buildings in question anyway, proved to be fairly simple to allocate roles.</p><p>They were going to drive to the specified area as close as they could get, and then the younger Winchester was going to break into the larger of the two dwellings in the hopes of finding Dean, while Claire and the sheriff would quickly check the smaller building (which they all felt looked more like an outhouse anyway) and then move to join him once their search was complete.</p><p>The angel would stay outside in the field as a guard and/or back-up depending upon what he might or might be suddenly able to perceive… if anything at all.</p><p>But it still had proved irritatingly slow to Sam for them to finally find the correct dirt track in the dark starry-clear night of Oklahoma, and then to find somewhere that he and Claire could hide the vehicles out of any nosy onlooker’s view while they carefully made their way across the large meadowed pasture down towards the dwellings in question, until dawn was only actually a couple of hours away by the time he <em>finally</em> felt the wood of the cabin that he hoped his brother was in beneath his fingertips.</p><p>It was with some considerable nervous trepidation that the young man picked the lock on the rear door, and let himself into the building.</p><p>His flashlight solidified the impression of it being a cabin. There was a fairly large open living area, with kitchen cupboards and a breakfast bar at the one end he had entered, and a huge television set complete with entertainment centre, and accompanying incredibly comfortable-looking chairs at the other.</p><p>The light from his torch followed the treads of a set of stairs as they disappeared to a second level… and Sam momentarily thought about accompanying it… but then his attention was caught by a door at the end of the cabin. Sneaking across to see what was behind it, he found himself in a short hallway with two more doorways.</p><p>Behind one proved to be a small restroom: basic facilities and a small walk-in shower.</p><p>The second room, as Sam shone his flashlight around from the safety of the doorway didn’t look to be full of much… but then he heard a steady breathing, and a sleepy mumble that he had heard most nights just about his whole life, and his heart all but missed a beat…</p><p>He didn’t know what he had actually intended to <em>do</em> upon seeing Dean: Sam hadn’t really <em>thought</em> that far beyond finding his brother, and finding him safe.</p><p>But… just for a second… Sam stood in the doorway and stared at the occupied bed in the makeshift bedroom with full-on tears of relief in his eyes…</p><p>… and then he was bodily flinging himself forward to the bed beside his brother: his only clear intention simply being to wrap his arms tightly around the older man and pledge to them both that he was never, <em>ever</em>, going to let him go out of his sight ever again.</p><p>
  <em>Ever.</em>
</p><p>Dean came awake instantly Sam took a step into the small room, his Hunter instincts as sharp than ever, and he was reaching for the knife hidden beneath his pillow even as his younger brother managed to land full length and fully-clothed alongside him: long arms and large hands frantically grappling to stop the blade being struck in his direction. “Dean! <em>Dean!</em> It’s me!<em>”</em></p><p>To his relief, Sam managed to grasp Dean’s wrist even as it stalled in its thrust: the sharp cruel metal glinting viciously in the other’s hand even as abruptly woken green eyes tried to make sense of the situation unfolding in the near darkness. “Wha…?”</p><p>“It’s <em>me!</em> It’s me.” And Sam was trying to wrap his arms around the combination of Dean and the bed covers, (that he was now hampering himself with due to them being held in position beneath his own weight as well), and throwing a leg across both the other man’s because, knowing his brother it might well prove to be necessary, and pull him close…</p><p>But even though Dean was no longer trying to stab him… for the moment at least… Sam could feel how tense his brother was, and how he was trying to pull away… and the younger man could see the furrows caused by the other’s eyebrows even despite the gloom of the room and how confused he was looking …</p><p>… at Sam.</p><p>A memory flashed through the younger Winchester’s mind.</p><p>“Scent me!”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“<em>Scent</em> me!” The memory in his head… memories… were clear: of Dean… the <em>other</em> Dean… who had used his nasal sense probably more than every other one beside that of touch: his nostrils had twitched continually throughout the time that Sam had <em>known</em> him, inhaling each and every little piece of information that the world around had to offer. “It’s <em>me</em>, Dean! Just… scent me.” The younger man tried to make his voice sound calm. And tilted his head to bear his neck in an offering…</p><p>The older man stared at him momentarily as if in a daze… but then obediently leant forward on the bed and buried his nose into the scraggy mess of greasy and unkempt overgrown hair that Sam had forgotten now covered not only his head but also his face, chin and throat… and inhaled.</p><p>Then Dean inhaled again, another deep breath… and to the younger man’s relief, Sam felt his brother slowly relax against him as he finally fully recognised the large man hidden behind the newly grown fuzz. “Sammy? What are <em>you</em> doing here?”</p><p>“Shhh.” And his arms were tightening their hold to pull Dean even closer and he was burrowing his lips into the other’s soft head of hair and breathing in the feel of the older man as his eyes once more prickled with enough moisture to this time overflow down his cheeks and he didn’t care… Sam didn’t <em>care</em>… he had found his brother and he was here <em>safe</em> and he was <em>never</em> letting him go.</p><p>They lay in companionable silence for a long few moments… but then Dean was tensing up again. “Sam? What…? I mean…? How did you find me?”</p><p>“I’ve looked and looked, and I never would have <em>stopped</em> looking for you, Dean. I <em>never</em> would.”</p><p>“Yes, but…”</p><p>“You know I never would.”</p><p>There was a pause… but this time it wasn’t quite as companionable. “Dean? You do <em>know</em> I’d never had stopped looking for you, don’t you?”</p><p>“I…”</p><p>Sam loosened his hold enough to be able to wriggle slightly down the bed until he could see his brother properly face-to-face. Dean was pale, too pale for the younger man’s liking: he looked like he had been out of the sun completely for the last few months, and the pallor of his skin was causing the green of his eyes to be vivid even in the gloom of the small room.</p><p>And he looked… nervous… worried… <em>scared?</em> Sam couldn’t help but stare at him, his own eyes wide and drying quickly with his concern. “Dean? It’s okay. I’ve found you: you’re safe.”</p><p>“Why are you here, Sammy?” The tone wasn’t friendly, but Sam still couldn’t determine what other emotion was most prominent. “What are you going to do?”</p><p>“What am I…? What do you mean: what am I going to do? What do you <em>mean?</em>”</p><p>“I…”</p><p>“<em>What</em>… Dean?”</p><p>But his brother was looking away from him, staring across the gap between them to focus on Sam’s plaid over-shirt, and not his face, with a determined intensity that informed the younger man immediately that there would be no forthcoming conversation.</p><p>Which instantly pissed Sam off.</p><p>“Really? Are we <em>really</em> going to do this? You just vanish out of the Bunker into thin air <em>months</em> ago, leaving me and Cas worried <em>sick</em> because we didn’t know where the <em>hell</em> you were, or whether you were alive or dead, or even whether you were even still here in this world or back in <em>that</em> world, or <em>what</em> was going on!?</p><p>We’ve been looking for you for fucking <em>months!</em> We’ve crisscrossed the fucking country on a weekly <em>basis </em>looking for you!</p><p>And now you’re just going to <em>ignore</em> me? You’re just going to do this damned… <em>silence</em> of yours that you always do? This fucking ‘I’m fine’ thing that you always say but never really fucking <em>are? </em>You think I don’t <em>know</em> that? Or know <em>you?”</em></p><p>There was a long silence in the room: this time, completely unfriendly. Sam just about bit through his own lip with anger but knew that he wouldn’t get anywhere by yelling any more at the other man: his brother always accused him and their dad of being equally mule-headed when in reality he could out-stubborn the <em>pair</em> of them!</p><p><em>And</em> Dean could outlast anyone when it came to hiding his feelings. For the simple reason that he didn’t think they <em>mattered</em>, not to <em>anyone</em>.</p><p>And Sam knew that that was as much <em>his</em> fault as their dad’s.</p><p>He sighed and tried to make his voice sound calm despite his inner exasperation: “Dean? What was that you once said to me? That there ‘ain’t no me if there ain’t no you’? Well… that goes both <em>ways</em>, big brother. Please believe me!</p><p>It goes <em>both</em> ways, Dean.”</p><p>His words worked. The other man raised his head enough to be able to stare at him with eyes-so-wide-they-were-almost-round in the darkness, but still didn’t say a word.</p><p>Sam suppressed another sigh with a lot of effort. And continued: “You disappeared in a matter of minutes, Dean. Minutes! Cas was <em>distraught</em>: he blames himself for not being there when you woke up. And he thinks <em>I </em>blame him as well, which I <em>don’t</em>, because I know what a slippery piece of shit you can be!</p><p>Why did you leave? Why? And where the hell did you go because we looked <em>everywhere?</em> Cas must’ve gone round the world three or four times that first night and I searched everywhere I could think of that you might have gone. We’ve been so worried! <em>Really</em> we have! Where did you go…?</p><p>But that doesn’t matter: that doesn’t <em>matter!”</em> Sam corrected himself with a shake of his head. “All that matters is we’ve found you… we’ve <em>found</em> you…</p><p>And you’re safe: you’re okay. <em>Are</em> you okay? <em>Please</em> tell me you’re okay! We’ve found you and you’re okay, and you’re going to come home and we’re going to keep you <em>safe</em>.  </p><p>I swear, Dean. I <em>swear</em>. We’re going to keep you safe. Just come <em>home</em>. And if you’re worried about those monsters from that world that… that… that… raped you… then I’m never going to let them near you again, Dean. I swear <em>that</em> as well. I’ll <em>never</em> let them get near you again.”</p><p>His brother continued to stare at him… but then to Sam’s horror the green eyes were suddenly filling with tears, causing them to glisten and shine in the near gloom of the room momentarily before Dean once again ducked his head to stare again fixedly instead at the younger man’s solid chest…</p><p>… but this time with such sorrow in his action rather than stubbornness that it was almost palpable.</p><p>“Dean? Dean, talk to me: what’s going on?</p><p>C’mon, Dean,” as the older man simply curved his body into a basic banana-shape beneath the covers on the bed and buried his head against Sam’s over-shirts with the obvious intention of hiding his face… and more importantly his expression. It seemed natural to the younger brother to tighten his arms even more and press his lips into the soft, albeit slightly longer than normal hair, in response as his own heart seemed to stutter also in sympathy. “<em>Talk</em> to me, man: tell me what’s wrong.”</p><p>There was another long silence… but this time it didn’t matter. Sam knew Dean. He <em>knew</em> that all he had to do was wait…</p><p>“It wasn’t rape.” The younger man had to strain his ears to make out the words as they were not only muffled by being mumbled into his shirts… but also… that he had never heard his brother’s voice so quiet…</p><p>… or sounding so miserable.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>There was another pause, but… “It wasn’t rape, Sammy. I… I don’t want you to think that of him. He didn’t rape me, I…</p><p>I should have been able to control myself. I shouldn’t ha…</p><p>His scent was just so…</p><p>Amazing is the wrong word, Sam. It just…</p><p>It <em>called</em> to me. I mean physically… it was like a wave of <em>sense… senses</em>… all of them… not only his scent but just him being in the room, and he would wrap his arm around me and I’d feel so… <em>safe:</em> I know that sounds stupid… and then he’d smile… and, oh god… the way that he just made me feel with just a smile…</p><p>That’s all he had to do... just <em>smile</em>, and I would see those dimples, deeper even than yours, and I would feel that everything could be okay… <em>would</em> be okay… no matter what was going on with Manolli and whatever the hell that bastard was planning…</p><p>And his <em>laugh</em>… it just… When Samuel <em>laughed</em>, everything was just…” Dean’s eyes were filling with moisture again at the thought of the young Alpha that he had fallen so deeply in love with and just missed so <em>much</em>…</p><p><em>“He</em> was just…</p><p>I know I should have resisted…. I <em>should</em> have been able to resist for god’s sake:  I mean, I’m a grown man and he’s…</p><p>He’s only a <em>kid</em>, and <em>I’m</em> a grown-up. I shouldn’t have let it get that far. I should have stopped him: I should’ve been <em>strong</em> enough to…</p><p>Dean’s voice momentarily trailed off… but then he was suddenly straightening his body where he lay on the bed so that he could meet his brother’s eyes directly, his own still shining with threatened tears, and he was speaking his next words with determined authority. “He didn’t <em>rape</em> me, Sam. He never did: he never would. If that disgusts you, then I’m sorry. But it wasn’t rape.</p><p>And I need you to know that… that I… I miss him. I miss him more than I ever thought that I’d ever miss anyone… even more than I missed you every time you left me…”</p><p>The green eyes overflowed and Sam sighed as his brother yet again had to look away as he tried to contain his tears. “But I shouldn’t have…” Dean snuffled. “I should have had more self-control…”</p><p> “You found your soul-mate.”</p><p>“What…?”</p><p>But Sam was trying to think… “An Alpha for every omega, and an omega for every Alpha.”</p><p>“<em>What?</em>”</p><p>“That’s how the other Dean described it,” the incredulous younger man was trying to remember how it had been explained to him, “that the… moon goddess of that world created a perfect match for every man and woman… well… every Alpha and omega… that’s what that Dean was… is that what <em>you’re</em>….?</p><p>His words faltered as he felt his brother’s body stiffen against his… and Sam didn’t even have to see Dean’s expression to know that his chest had just been given a look of mixed complete outrage and disgust… but he wasn’t prepared for the stink that suddenly filled the room…</p><p>It was with genuine shock that Sam realised it was somehow emanating from the older man… and even more of a shock to realise that it was the stench of pure shame and self-loathing.</p><p>Hastily he continued along his original train of thought, completely unaware that he was now beginning to soothingly rub his brother’s back as he did, <em>and</em> that the unpleasant smell slowly but almost immediately began to dissipate with each pass of his hand: “The <em>other</em> Dean said that the scent of a soul-mate would seep into your soul… so much you wouldn’t be able to exist without it… Sound familiar?</p><p>Fuck, Dean. You met your <em>soul-mate</em>.”</p><p>“Fucking terrific.” The sound was little more than a grunt, although Sam could hear the fresh batch of tears threatening behind it. “I <em>still</em> should have managed to resist it… she brought me back <em>here</em> once we’d…  She should have just left me there, in that world with him. By doing this… I mean by succumbing to Samuel’s charms… I’ve damned him <em>and</em> myself, and he ain’t going to know his own kid…</p><p>Dad would be so ashamed of me…”</p><p>“<em>Screw</em> dad!” That was it: the younger man had had enough. With every other word he was slightly shaking his brother’s body, still wrapped up tight as it was in both the covers of the bed <em>and</em> Sam’s arms, for emphasis. “He never thought <em>anything</em> you ever did was any good! <em>Nor</em> what I did, for that matter! All that mattered was his revenge… which I understand… <em>now</em>… but not at the cost of <em>us</em>.</p><p>It should <em>never</em> have been at the cost of <em>us</em>.</p><p>And he certainly wouldn’t have understood <em>this</em>… but <em>I</em> do!</p><p> <em>I</em> understand, Dean. You… you’ve changed… somehow… when you were in that world. <em>Because</em> of that world. You’re not quite human any more, but you’re also not… <em>super</em>human… <em>or</em> just a perfect little soldier <em>despite</em> you’ve been brought up to believe. You’re only <em>human</em>… well,” he corrected himself hastily. “You’re <em>not</em>… but that’s what I’m trying to <em>say</em>. You’re not this… untouchable, unimpeachable, soulless <em>thing</em> that you think you are. You never <em>have</em> been.</p><p>You’re a living, breathing, feeling, emotional, <em>normal</em> wonderful being, Dean, who <em>deserves</em> love. <em>Believe</em> me, you do! And if that’s with a man… well, then, I always expected it to be Castiel anyway, but I don’t care as long as you’re happy: man or woman, it doesn’t matter to me at all and it never <em>has</em>.</p><p>But this is even more than that… you found your <em>soul-mate</em>, and of <em>course</em> you couldn’t have stopped yourself. This is the one being in the entire universe that has supposedly been created to be your perfect match. It would have been like standing in front of a tidal wave with your hands up trying to stop it and not expecting to get wet, or face down a typhoon without getting a single hair blown out of place!</p><p>An irresistible force… that’s how your look-alike described it. A marriage destroyer…</p><p>Or in <em>tha</em>t world’s case… a <em>mating</em> destroyer.</p><p>So. If that’s what you’re worried about: that you couldn’t resist being what you now <em>are</em>... If that’s why you ran from the Bunker… then you don’t need to be…</p><p>Just come home.”</p><p>There was a long silence in the darkened room. Sam pressed his lips against the older man’s short (ish) hair and told himself that it wasn’t a kiss… na-hah, no way, not a kiss. Then:</p><p>“Are you going to kill me?”</p><p>There was an even longer silence. Sam couldn’t quite believe his ears: had Dean really just asked that? Had he <em>really</em> just <em>asked</em> that? “No! <em>No</em>, I’m not going to kill you! Why the hell would you ask that? Dean? Why would you <em>ask</em> that?”</p><p>“You said it: I’m not human anymore. I’m just a monster now, Sammy...”</p><p>The younger man felt that his heart was going to stop from horror.</p><p>“… And that’s what we do. That’s what we’ve <em>always</em> done.”</p><p>The younger Winchester sighed. And hugged his older brother impossibly closer as if he could merge them both into one body by sheer willpower and the strength of his hold.</p><p>And he <em>definitely</em> kissed the top of Dean’s head.</p><p>“Did <em>you</em> kill <em>me</em> when dad told you to? When you realised that I had a few drops of demon blood in me? When I became ad…addi…addicted to demon blood enough to be tricked into letting the fucking devil loose…</p><p>When I fucking <em>let</em> Lucifer loose and nearly condemned the world to be destroyed by the Apocalypse… did you kill me?”</p><p>“Don’t be stupid! That’s different!” Dean was trying to wriggle loose.</p><p>“<em>How</em> is that different!?” Sam held on tight. “Apart from the drops of demon blood, I <em>chose</em> to do what I did! I chose to believe that fucking black-eyed little bitch and ignored… well, <em>everyone</em> else but especially you! <em>You didn’t!</em> You didn’t <em>choose</em> to be changed into…” He forced himself to pause and try to make his voice sound calmer. “You didn’t choose to be… bitten… or scratched… or whatever happened in that world, Dean. And whatever it is you <em>are</em> now, you are <em>not</em> a monster.</p><p>And even if you <em>were</em>, I wouldn’t kill you!</p><p>Because you’re my brother. You will <em>always</em> be my brother.</p><p>And I will always love you no matter what.”</p><p>There was another silence: this time, a slightly stunned one from Dean’s side of the bed and a patiently waiting one from Sam.</p><p>“What… about… what you said… chaining me in the dungeon…?”</p><p>“Oh Dean.” Yes, Sam remembered what he had said. His own words had replayed in his head most nights since he had realised that the older man most probably had heard them… that they would probably been the <em>last</em> words that he had heard his younger brother say in the Bunker before he had fled it. “I <em>never</em> would. Well, not unless I had no choice. Not unless you became dangerous to yourself… or it was the only way to keep you from doing something monumentally stupid…</p><p>That was just words. Cas and I were just talking, and…”</p><p>“Cas kissed me. He <em>kissed</em> me, Sam.”</p><p>“I know. I know he did. And I know what you heard… and I know what you think. But you’re safe with us, Dean. So was the <em>other</em> Dean. It just all got… very complicated. But… you’re safe with us: you don’t <em>ever</em> need to worry that…</p><p>Please come home. I just need you to come home.”</p><p>“I thought the Bunker <em>wasn’t</em> home.” The older man’s voice contained a slight sulk: Sam could immediately visualise the pout that would be accompanying it even in the darkness of the room and had to resist the urge to smirk.</p><p>“<em>You’re</em> my home, <em>jerk</em>. You always <em>have</em> been: it just took me a long time to realise that. If you don’t want to come back to the Bunker, then okay. And if you don’t want to see Cas, then I’ll make sure he stays away from you. But wherever you are, is where I going to be, and if that’s here… then that’s okay as well, Dean. As long as we’re together then I don’t <em>care</em>.”</p><p>He stared across and slightly down defiantly at his brother, who he had by now released from his arms and the tight covers just enough to allow Dean to straighten up enough on the bed to be able to stare directly back at him with red-rimmed eyes... but to the younger man’s relief, there was now a slight twinkle in them that he had just missed <em>soooo</em> much… “I forgot how bossy you can get, Sammy. Makes me go all tingly…”</p><p>“Shaddup.” Despite himself Sam blushed. And slurpingly kissed the top of his brother’s head but this time simply for the sole little-brotherly reason of really annoying the other man.</p><p>Which to his gratification, it immediately succeeded in doing.</p><p>Dean wriggled enough to be able to finally pull completely free of his embrace without any seemingly malice other than an exaggerated ‘blech’ sound, but to Sam’s relief then his brother remained simply laying on the bed beside him: “Chick-flick moment over, bitch?”</p><p>The younger man smiled and also turned to lie on his back side-by-side and close enough to punch at Dean’s arm with his own. “Chick-flick over. Come home.”</p><p>“Sam? Did you find him?”</p><p>Both men startled at the hissed whisper that hadn’t come from either from them. And reacted immediately: Sam leaping instantly to his feet as he recognised the voice, ready to tackle his brother who he just <em>knew</em> would be doing the same thing while once again going for the knife under his pillow…</p><p>Which indeed Dean was.</p><p>“Dean! It’s <em>Jody!</em>”</p><p>His brother paused even as he was stepping forward to greet the perceived threat, raised blade in hand… “Jody? You told <em>Jody!</em>”</p><p>Sam couldn’t help his smirk at the tone of aghast <em>panic</em> in the older man’s voice.</p><p>“And me! Hey, Dean!”</p><p> Claire was also bursting through the door into the darkened room, feeling for the wall switch as she did and all but blinding both brothers momentarily as the main light flickered on, the older man especially, “Son of a bitch!”</p><p>“What? Oh my god, it’s true!” And the young blonde was hurrying to hug Dean, flinging her arms around his neck in such an enthusiastic manner as to nearly knock him over, but then almost immediately she was pulling away and stepping back enough to be able to gently rest her fingers against his chest and upper abdomen…</p><p>… where Sam and Jody’s eyes had also immediately been irresistibly drawn to now they could see fully in the newly brightened room.</p><p>For Dean now had a bump where he had <em>never</em> had a bump before.</p><p>He had been sleeping in a t-shirt and sweatpants. It was a simple outfit that left him nowhere to hide his new shape… or the slightly awkward way he was standing with the tiniest of winces in his movements. To Sam’s untrained eye, his brother looked to be carrying the baby higher than a woman usually did: the swelling that was caused by its position seemed to start just below his ribcage to gently disturb into what was still only a fairly small bulge even though the birth, by the younger Winchester’s reckoning, had to be only approximately two months away.</p><p>It went through Sam’s mind as well that there was another distinctive difference about Dean from how he had been before he had been taken by that world: in the light of the room now, he could tell that the other’s nostrils were in as much motion as his look-alike’s had been, twitching unobtrusively but constantly with deep inhalations, using them as a new major sense to map the world and individuals around him.</p><p>Even as Dean stared across at him, with a slight frown between his eyebrows that the younger man couldn’t help but wonder about, he knew that he was seeing a slightly newer version of the older man.</p><p>And it flashed across Sam’s mind suddenly that he had never seen his big brother look so beautiful.</p><p>He was also hit by the sudden realisation that he was jealous of the young blonde who was standing so close to Dean as to be able to touch him… and a sudden shame that he felt like that: he was going to have to get <em>that</em> reaction very much under control…</p><p>Then the young man’s attention was being caught by something else… a movement beneath Dean’s tight-fitting t-shirt that screamed either alien parasite ready to erupt from the chest cavity, or something else not quite so sinister but equally jaw-dropping, as was substantiated by Claire’s sudden excited <em>squeal</em>: “Oh my <em>God</em>, is that…?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Dean smiled despite himself. “She’s stretching.”</p><p>“Let’s have a feel, boy.” “We’re having a girl?”</p><p>And the proud mummy-daddy to be found himself surrounded by his brother and his friends suddenly, all gently touching his abdomen in the hopes of feeling the baby’s movements again… and to Dean’s disbelief, he sensed each of their genuine excitement and unquestioning concern for him. The astonishment of that realisation caused him to nearly stutter a little: “Yeah, that’s… that’s what the ultrasound last week showed. And… and… that’s what I felt from the start as well… I kn..know that sounds stupid…”</p><p>“Parental instincts, boy: I’m so <em>proud</em> of you!” And Jody was throwing her arms tightly around Dean with an almost maternal mixture of emotional euphoria and tearful relief. “It’s gonna be okay: you’re not alone in this… you never have been. You’ve got <em>us!</em> You always have had…</p><p>Why don’tcha ever just <em>remember</em> that, ya big <em>lug!</em>” She pulled away enough to be able to punch the older Winchester on the arm with a sharp blow hard enough to make Dean wince and rub at the spot before he was enveloped in another even tighter hug. “Have you any idea of how <em>worried</em> we’ve been?!”</p><p>“Dean?”</p><p>They all turned at the sound of the deep voice. Castiel stood in the doorway of the room along with an elderly man who may have had many wrinkles, more grey hairs than black, twinkling dark brown eyes and a slightly oversized nose for his face… not to mention scarlet-red shiny-silk pyjamas clashing with fluffy moccasin-style slippers… but who still gave off a genuine air of distinction and authority. “I figured that Our Lady let the rest of them get in here anyway…” he shrugged, “so I scratched through the sigils…”</p><p>“Hello, Dean.”</p><p>“Hey Cas. Shit, I’d forgotten about those damned wings…”</p><p>“Wings? You can see his wings?” Jody stared at the older Winchester and then the angel in surprise. As did Claire.</p><p>“Yeah,” Dean mumbled. “It was what brought it home to me immediately that I wasn’t… <em>me</em>… anymore. I could see Cas’s wings. I <em>can</em>, I mean.”</p><p>Sam hadn’t realised that he had instinctively put himself between the two of them until Dean shook off his surprise about seeing the shimmering feathered appendages again and reached out to touch his arm. “Dude? You okay?”</p><p>The younger Winchester shook his irrationality off. “Sorry. You and I and Cas have a lot to talk about what happened when you returned. I just… didn’t want the moment to be spoilt…”</p><p>This was with a pointed look at the angel, who tried to resist the urge to tilt his head as he worked out the meaning behind the pointed words:  “Of course, I…”</p><p>“What’s going on?” Claire hadn’t missed the exchange. Neither had Jody.</p><p>But it was Dean who replied. “We had a major misunderstanding when I got back from… where-ever it was… like… <em>major</em>. But as Sammy said, we just need to talk it through.”</p><p>The younger Winchester barely contained his sigh of relief: even after everything that had happened, Dean’s first instinct would always be to look after <em>him</em> and keep his secret.</p><p>In fact, Dean would keep his and <em>Castiel’s</em> secret…</p><p>… Sam couldn’t help but smirk inside himself though… Dean would keep their secret even if it meant him actually having to talk later…</p><p>
  <em>Dean!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Talking!</em>
</p><p>Although… thinking about it… his big brother would probably want <em>this</em> particular secret kept more than any other…</p><p>He wouldn’t want <em>anyone</em> to know that both Sam and Cas had had extremely often, and exceedingly enthusiastic, sexual relations with his look-alike from another dimension…</p><p>…and… well… actually… neither would <em>they</em>…</p><p>He and Cas definitely didn’t want <em>anyone</em> to know what they had done with the other Dean…</p><p>… Yeah… the three of them certainly had a <em>lot</em> to discuss.</p><p>When they all got back to the Bunker, that is…</p><p>But first he had to convince his brother to come…</p><p>… <em>and</em> it might well be worth changing the present subject before Jody or Claire… or even worse,  <em>both</em>… felt it necessary to pursue it…</p><p>“Dean? Who is this?” Sam indicated the red satiny-clad man. “Did he bring you here?”</p><p>The distinguished, if somewhat nattily dressed older man smiled, his wrinkles lifting into well-worn crow’s feet of laughter lines: “Nah, boy. Our Lady led him to us. Although I must admit I was surprised that Pah is actually a female: I have begun sharing the correct retelling of our legends. But we are honoured to have been chosen.”</p><p>“Our Lady?” Jody had watched her boy’s reaction to the arrival of his brother and the angel, and was beginning to wonder just how much she <em>wasn’t</em> going to like what she was definitely determined now to find out! “The who now?”</p><p>“What do you mean ‘led’?” Sam began at the same time. “How did you get <em>here</em> from the bunker? It’s over 600 miles!”</p><p>“Our Lady Moon brought me here.” Dean nodded and began to explain: “She’s the goddess that did all this, took me to that… world, dimension… whatever the hell it is. I don’t know why or what she wanted… what she <em>still</em> wants… or why she did this…”</p><p>He hesitated momentarily, then addressed his younger brother directly. “I know she’s not finished with me, Sam. <em>This</em> isn’t finished. Hell,” he sighed, “it’s only just beginning, what with this… me becoming <em>this</em> and having a baby and everything.</p><p>I just wish she’d let me stay there in that world and not have to come back here. But… somehow … it’s going to be okay. It will. Eventually. I’ve just got to… hold on. I know this sounds stupid, but…</p><p>You know how y<em>ou</em> reckon you never lost faith in God no matter what, Sammy… well, even after everything… Lucifer and… all that.</p><p>Well, I’ve… I <em>felt</em> that she was there with me. All the way through…well…. everything that happened in that… place, with the constant threat of violence and the sexual harassments and the eventual attack on the house and the children... I felt… I <em>knew, </em>Sammy… that I wasn’t on my own. I knew there was something else with me…</p><p>And when I got back here to this world… and the way everything happened in that warehouse… it all just got so messed-up, but I ran out of the Bunker… I <em>had</em> to get out of that Bunker… and I took a deep breath and I <em>knew</em>.</p><p>I <em>knew</em> she’s not done with me.</p><p> I’ve just got to trust her. So I waited, and she sent my beautiful big cat as a guide and all I had to was follow… It took a couple of days of walking just about continually and two completely ruined boots but I ended up at Benjamin here’s door. I’m <em>safe</em> here with him.”</p><p>“You’re safe with <em>us!</em> At the <em>Bunker!</em>” Sam couldn’t help the sharpness of his tone: not only had he decided instantly that he didn’t like the sound of this ‘Benjamin’, but also he didn’t like the way his brother was talking. It had been bad enough the other Dean gushing excitedly and continually about a goddess, but for his own actual brother to <em>also</em> do so? And in this eerie…. <em>accepting</em> … way?</p><p><em>Hell</em>, no.</p><p>In his mind he was already running through every piece of information he could ever remember about brain washing and other conditioning techniques… and how to break them. This ‘Lady’ might be a goddess but that didn’t also mean that she wasn’t a complete <em>Bitch</em> that Sam was going to <em>kill</em> for doing this to his Dean the very first chance he got.</p><p> No, the moment he could get his brother back safely to the Bunker, they were going to discuss what this moon god thing actually was and how it wasn’t wanted… and the sooner he could get Dean there, the better.</p><p>“He’s safe here because he’s with child.” The elderly man, Benjamin’s, voice was deep and calm, seemingly completely unperturbed at the arrivals in the middle of the night. “The first of their kind in this world for a very long time. He has been chosen by Our Lady Pah… and I am honoured that she has chosen <em>me</em> to serve her.</p><p>I have been the shaman on this reservation for over forty years. Generations of our family have lived here: passing on the wisdom; handing down the skills; bequeathing the superstitions and the rituals.</p><p><em>She</em> brought him to us, and he is <em>safe</em> here. He is not seen as a freak, as the rest of the world will judge him to be. I will see him safely through the birth. And we have already arranged the paperwork so the child will be accepted in the community outside our boundaries… one of our brethren is a respected doctor with a practice in the local town and my daughter’s name will be on the birth certificate as the mother. <em>Everything</em> has been prepared for Dean and his baby: they are officially Pawnee family now.”</p><p>“<em>No</em>.” That was it, Sam had had enough. He was physically reaching to pull the older Winchester behind him even as he spoke, causing Dean to stumble a little. Sam caught him around the waist with his arms immediately in support and held on tight: “That’s the one thing that will <em>never</em> be. Dean is <em>my</em> brother. That child is <em>my</em> niece. I am the only family that he will <em>ever</em> need. And I will protect them <em>both</em> with my life. I <em>swear</em> that.”</p><p>He felt his brother’s surprise through the arm he had around him and the wide green eyes as they blinked in his direction.</p><p>“As do I.” Castiel was across from the doorway and standing beside the tall young man, deliberately putting himself between the human he loved so much and the stolidly unexcitable Benjamin in the next instant. “I am so sorry, Dean. I did not think through my actions when you returned from that world, and of <em>course</em> you were bewildered. I forgot that you were not… that… other version of you that I… <em>we</em>…”</p><p>“There’s time to talk about that later.” Sam interrupted. “Once we’re back at the Bunker. Let’s get going, Dean.”</p><p>“You are not listening!” Benjamin frowned. “Your brother is better off here, at least until the baby arrives. That is why Our Lady brought him here…”</p><p>“So you can play at being ‘Grand-daddy’?” Sam spat at him. “How’s your daughter <em>really</em> feeling about being forced to lie on a birth certificate? Or is she suddenly going to demand ‘maternal rights’? Are you going to try and claim my brother’s child?” he suddenly wondered and his rage racked up a notch. “Because if <em>that’s</em> your plan, then I’m telling you <em>now</em> that…”</p><p>“Sammy…” his older but smaller brother was looking up at him. “You’re getting this wrong.”</p><p>“My daughter died over two decades ago.” The elderly man’s tone was steady, but gave away his sadness even after so many years. “We buried her beneath the oldest cedar in our reservation and… just never got around to registering her death. But she would have been honoured to serve the Lady…</p><p>That’s why she chose for the nahurac to lead Dean here…”</p><p>“The nahurac?” Jody didn’t understand a word of <em>anything</em> at the moment, but she was right there beside Sam and Castiel: if Dean needed her help then she wasn’t going to be anywhere else but between him and danger.</p><p>Neither was Claire.  The beautiful young blonde was already reaching for one of her knives at the mention of a supernatural being: “What the hell’s a nahurac?”</p><p>“If you’ll just all give me a chance, then I’ll tell you.” Dean was getting exasperated: not only were they all standing guard around him which he did not need at <em>all</em>, <em>and</em> Sam still had a tight protective hold around him and was standing <em>far</em> too close at the moment, but also… his back was starting to hurt and he could have done with being able to rest his slightly swollen ankles.</p><p> Not to mention that now he was awake, he really, <em>really</em> desperately needed to piss.</p><p>“The nahurac is the spirit animal I just told you about: the one that led me here. She was sent by Our Lady and she’s beautiful…  Looks like a big cat…”</p><p>“With perfect rosette markings and eyes nearly as green as yours?” This time Castiel couldn’t help but tilt his head with his interest. “Is it the same one that the other Dean was protected by as well?”</p><p>Dean was surprised as he hadn’t known any of what have happened, but he seized on the words: “<em>Exactly</em>. <em>Protect</em> being the operative word. She brought me here so that Benjamin could arrange everything that needs to be arranged. And he’s talked me through what’s…” the swallow that was almost a gulp gave away his actual anxiousness despite the pretended calm “…what’s to come. I’ve gotta stay <em>here</em>. At least until she’s born.”</p><p>“No, you <em>don’t</em>.” And Sam was pleading with him, trying to use his eyes to their most perfected effect. “Come home with me. You’ll be safe back at the Bunker: you <em>know</em> you will.</p><p>And when it’s time for… well, you know… I’ll be right there with you.” The young man glanced across at the angel, who nodded immediately.  “<em>We’ll </em>be right there with you. Castiel can help you… he can whammy her right out of you if necessary…”</p><p>The sudden silence in the room… and the disgusted looks in his direction from both women, his brother, the shaman <em>and</em> the angel told Sam that he had perhaps gone too far.</p><p>Hastily he back-tracked. “Okaaaay. What I meant was… I’m going to be right there with you. All the way. Right up to when she’s born… and after.</p><p> I <em>want</em> to be there for you, Dean. You’re my brother and my entire family. But, if you’re happier here, then we’ll stay. Both of us. Together. Here.  <em>Please</em>. And if you do need extra help when you… I mean… well then, Castiel’s going to be there as well and he’ll be useful, Dean. You <em>know</em> he will.</p><p>If you need it…</p><p>Whatever you want to do, I promise I’ll be right there beside you… for whatever you need.</p><p>I always <em>will</em> be.”</p><p>The puppy eyes were now being used with full force, and completely focused on his brother. Who, despite himself, couldn’t help but avert his gaze while beginning to ruefully rub at the back of his neck with one hand: “I don’t know, Sammy. I… I…”</p><p>“It would only be natural to be anxious about the birth, Dean.” Castiel had always understood his friend. “Even women preparing for their first child must find the… thought of the experience to come daunting. It is understandable to us all that you are somewhat… apprehensive. And as Sam has said: I will be useful to help you through the unbelievable pain that must surely ensue during the multitude of hours possibly days that it will take to push the baby out of your body through your….”</p><p>“Cas!” “Castiel! That’s enough!” “Let’s just stop that there, shall we?” Jody’s calm voice cut through the slightly frantic efforts of Sam and Claire to stop the angel from talking. “It’ll be fine, Dean. Don’t let him worry ya. You just have to concentrate on finally being able to hold that baby… <em>your</em> baby… in your arms when it’s done and everything else gets immediately forgotten, <em>believe</em> me.”</p><p>Dean blinked gratefully at her: “Thanks, Sheriff. I’m… actually quite happy <em>not</em> thinking about… that bit at the moment. But… erm… I appreciate what you said… and I appreciate all of you… being here… It means…</p><p>I mean…</p><p>What d’ya think?”</p><p>Much to Sam’s disgust, this last was addressed to the solemn Benjamin.</p><p>Who shrugged his gloriously-clad shoulders in response: “I’ve taught you everything I feel you need to know,” he considered, “and we have everything in place for the birth, and <em>I’ll</em> be there to see you safely through that, no <em>argument</em>.” The stern tone put behind these words left all the newcomers in no doubt that this was something not up for discussion. “It’s just a matter of waiting now. <em>She</em> wouldn’t have let them in this room if she felt there was a threat… but… the only important thing is that you are kept as comfortable and <em>calm</em> as possible… stress is <em>not</em> good for you: your blood pressure tends to rise at the slightest perceived anxiety and you do seem to be increasingly worried about what is to come despite my assurances of how natural the process is…”</p><p>“He <em>will</em> be comfortable!” Sam saw his best chance and took it. “<em>And</em> calm. More than here in this ratty old cabin in this old bed! He’ll be in his <em>own</em> room, in his <em>own</em> home… <em>our</em> home… with his own things around him… and we’ll be there to look after him!</p><p>Come home, Dean! <em>Please!</em>”</p><p>The younger Winchester worked his eyes like he had never purposely used them before, feeling momentarily guilty as he did… then jubilant as he saw his brother’s body sag a little…</p><p>And absolutely euphoric as Dean finally gave a big sigh of near defeat.</p><p>“You sure, Sammy? I mean… I know we talked just now and what you said... but… and I don’t know what’s coming or how we’ll manage or…</p><p>Man… I’m just a little… I don’t…” The older brother was hesitating… ashamed to admit that he was more than a little <em>terrified</em> of the thought of what was going to have to happen..</p><p>“It’s okay, Dean.” And Sam was changing his stance to be able to put one long arm around his brother’s shoulders in support: his other hand going naturally to support the bump while hoping to feel another slight movement beneath the skin. “It’s <em>going</em> to be okay. I’ll be right there with you: I’m in this for the long run. Just come home back to the Bunker. Castiel can <em>fetch</em> Benjamin when it’s time,” he realised suddenly, “If anything were to suddenly happen, I mean.” the angel instantly nodded in agreement and started to open his mouth but wasn’t given the chance to interrupt, “or we can get you back here when it’s nearer the time… if this is where you feel you should be, I’ll make sure you’re here. I really <em>will</em>…”</p><p>Sam paused… “Just come back to the Bunker. <em>Please</em>.</p><p>It’s just not <em>home</em> without you there.”</p><p>The moment seemed to hang in the air just as his last words did…</p><p>And then Dean was looking up at his younger brother, who still had his arm around him, and meeting his eyes.</p><p>Looking straight into them.</p><p>Sam immediately dropped the puppy-dogs to instead stare directly back into the older man’s green irises, and allow Dean to see the sincerity in his own: the truth behind his words…</p><p>His brother’s eyebrows furrowed together as if still slightly perplexed at something when he looked at the younger man… but then he inhaled again, and slowly nodded: “Okay, Sammy. I must admit I’ve missed my memory-foam…</p><p>… <em>and</em> you. Just a little bit.”</p><p>Sam’s dimples turned into a full-on grin of relief: “Missed you too, jerk.”</p><p>Dean snorted. “Bitch. ‘Kay… Okay, Sammy. If you’re sure…”</p><p>His younger brother hugged him, almost delirious with sudden relief, and wishing they could already be back at the Bunker right then and there: “C’mon then, Dean.</p><p>Let’s get going home.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was well into the evening by the time they all finally arrived at the Bunker. Sam’s hopes of it being a straight and <em>immediate</em> drive back once he had found Dean… had proved that he really had <em>not</em> thought things through…</p><p>Dean had fled the Bunker with just the clothes on his back. And for most of his life he had only ever lived out of one bag anyway… so… Sam for some reason expected his brother, if he had <em>anything</em>, to <em>still</em> have only one bag of belongings… and in his naivety he had expected it to be already packed and ready to go as had been their custom for just about all of <em>both</em> their lives…</p><p>What a fucking moronic imbecilic expectation <em>that</em> was!?</p><p>And what a fucking moronic imbecile <em>he</em> had been!?</p><p>He had to do better. <em>Dean</em> needed him to do better.</p><p>His <em>niece </em>needed him to do better.</p><p>Fucking hell! He was going to be an <em>uncle!</em></p><p>All these thoughts were going through Sam’s head while he watched the elderly Benjamin, having hastily dressed into comfortable faded denims and a loose-fitting over-shirt yet <em>still </em>was wearing the fluffy slippers, run around his cabin gathering stuff that Dean would need… for both before the birth and after it, and what the baby would need… and what the native American <em>himself</em> would need if Castiel had to fetch him to the Bunker to assist with the birth…</p><p>There were packets of homemade herbal teas (much to Sam’s incredulity), mainly ginger and mint to help with Dean’s apparently constant nausea but other flavours as well, and homemade honey and herbal remedies and salves to cover every other range of ailments from indigestion to the reduction of stretch lines. Dean <em>did</em> now have a bag’s worth of clothing that once packed up included everything from basic pre-pregnancy denims to loose and stretchy sweat pants, but it paled into insignificance with the <em>two</em> bags that the baby had already… “My people are excited about meeting her: more gifts arrive every day”… and there was a separate bag of well-worn and well-read ancient books and protective totems that Sam was already salivating about getting his hands on in the days to come… and more besides.</p><p>Plus, Benjamin had insisted on cooking them all a breakfast of hot buttered wholemeal toast and scrambled eggs, the enjoyment of which had been marred by Dean’s complexion becoming suddenly pale and him having to run to the bathroom.</p><p>“He still getting that?” Jody had asked with concern.</p><p>“All the way through,” Benjamin had responded. “And it’s not confined to the mornings: <em>any</em> thing, especially new scents, can set him off. It‘s been a worry making sure he and the little she have been getting enough nutrients. Oh! That reminds me…” And he was up on his feet again, packing up something else that he wanted to make sure travelled home with the pregnant mummy-daddy to be…</p><p>“It’s a damned good thing I brought my truck.” The sheriff muttered to everyone within earshot.</p><p>But finally they were ready to be on their way.</p><p>And it was <em>totally</em> worth it when Dean’s eyes alighted on the Impala: “My <em>Baby!</em>”</p><p>Sam didn’t know which made him grin more, his brother’s obvious delight or the aghast look on Benjamin’s face. Although he was still a little upset that <em>he</em> hadn’t received such a seemingly genuine reaction to being seen again. And Dean’s expression still seemed to falter a little every time he looked his little brother’s way...</p><p>“You wanna drive?” He held the keys out to Dean and relished in the excitement in his eyes, but then the older man was shaking his head.</p><p>“Nah, I’m good.”</p><p>“Seriously?”</p><p>Dean sighed, “Yeah.” The young man frowned and waited but his brother didn’t elaborate. Instead: “We going or what?”</p><p> “Here.” Benjamin was handing Dean a large, hand woven, and incredibly soft blanket decorated around three edges with a long beautifully beaded fringe. “I was saving this for when our little girl arrives, but you might have use of it before.”</p><p>“Thanks, man. For <em>everything.</em>”</p><p>And Dean was giving him a large and heartfelt hug, which was returned just as intensely by the elderly man. “I <em>will</em> see you in a few weeks, guaranteed: our Lady Pa will ensure I am there. Count on it!”</p><p>Dean grinned at him: “You betcha!”</p><p>And <em>finally</em>, to Sam’s tremendous relief, they were on their way.</p><p>It didn’t feel right, him driving the Impala with his older brother riding shotgun. Especially when said big brother actually turned down the music after a few moments: “Sorry, do ya mind? It’s making my head thump a bit.”</p><p>“No, definitely not. You okay?”</p><p>“Just not been sleeping very well, is all.” Dean muttered.</p><p>Sam glanced into the rear view mirror and exchanged concerned looks with Castiel, who was sitting in the back seat. “Is there anything we can do?”</p><p>“Nah.  A good night’s sleep back on my memory foam will work wonders.” He rubbed almost nonchalantly at the bulge in his chest that had no place on a man’s body. “If this little munchkin will only settle and <em>let</em> me sleep.”</p><p>“She’s active a lot then?” Sam couldn’t help himself, he wanted to know every detail: he had missed <em>far</em> too much already.</p><p>“Yeah. Especially at night. I thought I was part were-creature now, but perhaps there’s some vampire in her.”</p><p>Despite himself, Sam laughed. But he couldn’t help but say, “No matter <em>what</em> you are now, you’re always going to be my brother. Don’t you ever think different!”</p><p>“Thanks, Sam.” And Dean was turning away to stare steadily out of the window…</p><p>The younger man smiled: he knew his brother well enough to know that Dean was simply trying to hide his emotions. He didn’t need to have enhanced senses for <em>that</em>.  He reached out to bump his fist against the older man’s arm, but there was no need for words…</p><p>Not between the Winchester boys.</p><p>They drove on in silence for a good hour or so, then Sam noticed that Dean was shifting uncomfortably in the seat beside him. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Nothing.” But he kept on shuffling. Just little movements at a time. As if he was in discomfort and trying desperately to find a position to sit that didn’t cause pain.</p><p>“Is it your back? Is the seat hurting it?”</p><p>“It’s fine.”</p><p>That was it: Sam saw a rest stop and pulled off the highway.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p> Jody’s truck and Claire’s van followed them in and parked up each side of the Impala. “What’s going on?” The sheriff called across from her vehicle. “Restroom break?”</p><p>“No, it’s Dean’s back. He’s struggling in the front seat.”</p><p>“I’m <em>fine</em>.”</p><p>“What can we do?” Jody was coming across to talk to Sam through the driver’s window.</p><p>“He’s going to have to travel in the back instead: he can lie down there.”</p><p>“I <em>said</em>, I’m <em>fine</em>.”</p><p>“The Impala’s rear seat isn’t going to be any better: he won’t be able to lie out properly.” Claire was also now out of her van and standing beside the passenger’s side. “I’ve a bed in the back with a comfortable mattress. He’s welcome to travel with me: it’ll be more comfortable for him.”</p><p>That distracted Dean from his growing annoyance at least. “A bed in your <em>van?</em>  Way to go <em>Claire!</em> “</p><p>The young blonde couldn’t help herself from blushing: “Nooo! No.” But she couldn’t help but smile back at his smirk. “It’s comfortable though. And we’ve still got a way to go…?”</p><p>She looked down through the open window at Dean with a pleading look in her eyes. He sighed at her: “You’ve been learning that from Sam. <em>And</em> Castiel. Yeah… okay, actually that sounds good…</p><p>Sammy, I’m gonna be traveling with Claire for a while.” He started to open his door…</p><p>“We both are.” And the younger Winchester was following him out of the Impala, as was the angel. “Cas, can you drive this one home?”</p><p>“Of course, Sam. I…”</p><p>“Dean, get in the van quick before someone sees you! Go on!” And Sam was all but pushing his brother up the step into the rear of the vehicle. “Oh! Cas, pass me that blanket!”</p><p>“Here. Sam, Benjamin gave me a list so I will go and…” But Castiel’s words were cut off by the blanket being hastily handed through the van door and it being firmly shut before the young man was himself moving to get into the front beside the beautiful blonde.</p><p>The convoy moved on.</p><p>Claire hadn’t lied. She had had the rear of her van converted enough that she could live in it if necessary: there was a small freezer box, a two-ring cooker, and a comfortable if somewhat small bed with the pillow end situated just behind the front driver’s seat. Plus a lot of storage for weapons and ammunition of course.</p><p>“You rest up, Dean.” She called back as she turned the ignition on. “You look like you haven’t had too much sleep lately and we all woke you up early this morning. We’ll stay quiet in the front.”</p><p>The green eyes met hers in the rear view mirror as the man looked around. Claire felt a pang inside her: Dean really <em>did</em> look exhausted. He had hardly managed to eat anything since they had been with him, and that Benjamin had said that he was still struggling with severe nausea at all hours of the day…</p><p>She was relieved when the pregnant man simply nodded, the lids on his tired eyes already beginning to droop, and moved to lay out flat as best he could on the bed.</p><p>Claire glanced across at Sam, who was also watching his brother with an expression on his face that was a strange mixture of concern and tenderness… and all consuming love. She nodded to herself and reached for her cell phone…</p><p>But she would wait and make sure Dean had definitely fallen asleep first…</p><p>They drove on in silence for a while until all was quiet from the rear of the van…</p><p>Then…</p><p>“Are you going to tell me the truth now, Sam?”</p><p>“Pardon…?”</p><p>“What’s really going on between you and Dean. The truth.”</p><p>There was a pause. Sam didn’t know what say. Claire shrugged and continued:</p><p>“Only… You know what used to get me about Castiel? Besides the fact that he took possession of my dad, that is?”</p><p>Sam waited, unsure whether it was a rhetorical question or not, but the blonde continued talking without seeming to care if she got a response or not. “It was the way he looks at Dean. Which was the same way as ‘Jimmy’ used to look at my <em>mother</em>. I used to resent it, Sam. He took my father and whilst in his body, he went and fell in love with a man of all things! I used to hate Castiel for that. It seemed like… the worst betrayal, you know?</p><p>And then I got to know Dean, and I got to know Castiel… see him as <em>him</em> and not as my dad… and one day I realised that…</p><p>I wanted them both happy.</p><p>I wanted them both <em>happy</em>, Sam.</p><p><em>If </em>Dean felt the same way, which I think perhaps he…”</p><p>There was another short pause in the van… which to Sam felt like an eternity…</p><p>“What I <em>didn’t</em> expect,” Claire finally continued, “is to ever see <em>you</em> looking at Dean in the same way…”</p><p>“I…”</p><p>“You said <em>your</em> duplicate in that dimension was the other Dean’s <em>mate</em>. And that that version of him was totally the opposite of our Dean: he was nervous and afraid of everything.</p><p>And it’s already obvious what you mean about the scenting: Dean does it without realising and he actually seems to relax when he’s around <em>you</em>. Your scent calms him down, even when he was getting stressed earlier by all that Benjamin’s fussing. Your <em>touch</em> definitely soothes him: when you took his bag and just kept hold of his arm to see him out to the Impala it helped him, he took stability from you just being there…</p><p>And you <em>are</em> touching him, Sam. Quite noticeably in fact…</p><p>It would have been only <em>natural</em> for him, the other Dean I mean, to turn to you for comfort… physically, mentally, for just assurance in general… while he was stuck here alone and terrified.  But what I didn’t expect… and what I think you <em>did</em>… is that you <em>gave</em> that comfort to the other Dean… And gave it willingly.”</p><p>She glanced across at him. “<em>I’m</em> guessing <em>very</em> willingly<em>.</em>”</p><p>“Claire, I…”</p><p>“Look, Sam. Whatever happened with the other Dean, this one doesn’t need it. Is that what got him so upset? When he returned…?”</p><p>“Look, I…”</p><p>“Was it just you? Or was it Cas as well…?”</p><p>“Claire…” Sam wasn’t sure if his complexion was paling or reddening at her unbelievable intuition: probably both. At any other time he would have been extremely impressed and very proud at her insight…</p><p>Not this time, however.</p><p>He had paused too long.</p><p>“Shit, it was Cas as well. No <em>wonder</em> Dean was so upset at you…</p><p>No wonder he ran.”</p><p>There was total silence between them with the exception of the slightly rattley-sounding throb of the engine of the van.  Sam stared blankly out of the passenger window: for the first time in a long, long time he was at a loss of what to do next. He owed Claire an explanation. He <em>knew</em> he owed the young blonde an explanation. But for the life of him… he couldn’t think what to say…</p><p>… The only thing he <em>could</em> do in fact was tell the truth.</p><p>“I didn’t… Claire. I know what you’re thinking: how could I have…? I <em>love</em> Dean: I’ll <em>always</em> love him. With all my heart.  He’s my <em>brother</em>.”</p><p>He sighed. “But I never realised, Claire…not until he, or the being that was his exact double, was in my arms and looking up at me, all wide scared green eyes and open lips and shaking from fear and just <em>needing</em>… I never realised how much I’ve <em>wanted</em> him.  My own <em>brother!</em> How much I’ve <em>always</em> wanted him…</p><p>Not until it was offered by his gentle, frightened little look-alike…</p><p>And you’re right, I <em>couldn’t </em>resist. And then I wanted <em>more</em>… I wanted <em>everything</em>.” Sam sighed, a deep mournful sigh full of shame:</p><p>“Dean must hate me <em>so</em> much right now.”</p><p>There was another long silence in the van.</p><p>“I’ll never hate you, Sam.” Both Sam and the blonde were startled by the sleepy deep voice from behind them. “I love you. You <em>know</em> I do: I always will. And as you’ve told me far too many times, I love you far too much for my own damned good. That’s what makes me do such crazy things to keep you safe… and why we always end up fighting about it.</p><p>But you’re my little brother and I love you, and I’ll always, <em>always</em> try to protect  you even though you resent me every time I do. I will <em>always</em> love you, Sammy. So much.</p><p>But I… I’ve never, <em>ever</em> thought of you in that way. I…I just don’t think I can love you like <em>that</em>.</p><p>I’m sorry.”</p><p>“For <em>fuck’s…!”</em></p><p>And Sam was twisting his body around in the passenger seat and then somehow forcing his six foot four inch frame up and over the back of it to get through to the rear of the van, knocking Claire forcibly and unusually clumsily in his haste with his legs as he did and nearly causing her to swerve the van dangerously…</p><p>“<em>Sa-am!</em>”</p><p>But the girl was paid no heed as Sam landed somewhat painfully clumsily and in a tangle of limbs on the hard floor space behind the front seats while already reaching for his brother, who was trying to carefully sit himself up on the makeshift bed, wincing from awkwardness at his back as he did and bracing slightly against the movement of the van.</p><p> Dean’s momentary discomfort was instantly forgotten as the younger man immediately knelt in front of him and reached to close his large hands gently around each side of his jaw: Sam’s long fingers and thumbs holding firmly either side of his head so that the older man couldn’t have looked away from meeting the other’s eyes straight on even if he’d wanted to. Not that he’d ever denied his younger brother anything anyway…</p><p>“You don’t <em>need</em> to be sorry!” Sam tried and failed not to shout. With an effort he controlled himself and spoke in a calmer tone of voice. “<em>You</em> don’t need to be sorry, Dean. This is… something <em>I</em> have to deal with. And I will, I promise. You won’t ever need to doubt me… <em>or</em> be afraid of what I’ll do. I’ll never let you down again. I’m <em>never</em> going to.</p><p>Just… don’t ever leave me again, Dean. I’ve missed you so much and… you’re all I’ve got. <em>Please</em> don’t ever leave me again.</p><p>Promise me.”</p><p>The older man stared down at him, his eyebrows raised so high they were almost meeting his even now still military-short hair.</p><p>“<em>Promise</em> me!” Sam begged him. “Nothing has been the same without you! I never realised how much having you there <em>means </em>to me. Half of what happened with the other Dean was because of how much I love you, and it’s not just sexually.</p><p>I mean… he was <em>you</em> and he was constantly touchy. I mean <em>constantly!</em> He got into my bed on the first night and… the next morning… well, I should have had more control. You’ve been worried about what I think about <em>you</em> not being able to resist when you met your <em>soul</em> mate for god’s sake: well, <em>I</em> should have been able to stop myself <em>far</em> more, so stop beating yourself up…</p><p>But I will from now on, Dean. I swear I will. If you’re not interested, then…</p><p>You can trust me, Dean. You really can. I’m gonna prove it to you. You can <em>trust</em> me.</p><p>The one good thing about what’s happened since… you disappeared… is that, although <em>he</em> was here, I missed <em>you</em>. I really did! And I realised how much I did… and despite what you… he… was like… and how much I… had always wanted it… always wanted <em>you</em>…</p><p>I <em>missed</em> you. Even when your look-alike was there… I missed <em>you</em>, Dean.</p><p>I have done like <em>hell</em> these last few months. I missed your lousy singing and your fantastic cooking and your over-protectiveness… which I <em>get</em> now, by the way: it’s about the only thing dad <em>ever</em> said to you, ‘take care of Sammy, Dean’, apart from ‘what are you standing there like a useless good-for-nothing for? Get all them weapons cleaned, boy’ or ‘what are you, a goddam <em>girl? </em>Fifty more press ups and do them <em>right</em> this time!’… and I miss your annoying laugh. Which you don’t do anywhere <em>near</em> enough of anymore and I never realised… I never <em>realised</em>.</p><p>And I missed your friendship and your companionship, and your insight into situations, and your determination to try and save <em>everybody</em> and your heartache when you can’t because sometimes we just <em>can’t</em> Dean, and your never-failing courage to never give up and keep on going even when it’s all going bad…”</p><p>He paused momentarily: “Even when <em>I’m</em> going bad, Dean. You were always there for me: you always have been. And I never tell you how much I appreciate that. How grateful I am. How much I can <em>never</em> repay.</p><p>How much I need you.</p><p>Please don’t ever leave me again.”</p><p>He was still kneeling on the floor of the van as it sped along, holding his brother’s face in his hands through all this monologue… because Dean still hadn’t spoken a word. For a long moment, Sam thought his pleas were being ignored: the silence stretched out above the sound of the engine…</p><p>But then: “I didn’t <em>mean</em> to leave you, Sam. I didn’t have a choice. <em>You</em> saw.”</p><p>“I know. But don’t ever do it again. Or at least… I’m coming with you. I don’t care how. If this bitch takes you again, then I’m fucking well coming as well!”</p><p>“Sammy, I…”</p><p>“I <em>mean</em> it, Dean. You reckon she’s not finished with you? Well… whatever she’s intending we’re going to face it <em>together</em>. There or here, us Winchesters are going to face it together just like we always have done!”</p><p>“But Sam, I…”</p><p>“I <em>know</em> how she took you last time: I saw how hurt you <em>both</em> got. But I’m not letting her take you from me again. I mean it, Dean. And you’re damn well not going to just let her! Not without one hell of a fight! And you had <em>better</em> fucking well fight to stay with me because I’m <em>not letting you go without me! </em></p><p><em>Never</em> again.”</p><p>There was another pause, but the remaining slight tension that had been between the brothers since Sam had found the older man earlier that morning had gone. He let his hands loosen their grip, but kept them resting gently on Dean’s shoulders, wanting to keep the physical connection that he had craved for so long, albeit a platonic one.</p><p>But his brother was smiling at him: the green eyes shining with suspicious moistness. “Okay, Sammy. Whatever happens, we’re in it together. Somehow.”</p><p>“Promise?”</p><p>Dean nodded. “Promise.”</p><p>The dimples went deep with relief as Sam’s eyes also prickled suspiciously with dampness. “Okay then. Is your back okay?” As the other shifted his position uncomfortably and tried to contain a wince.</p><p>Dean grimaced. “Nah,” he admitted. “I wasn’t kidding about really missing my memory foam. That spare bed of Benjamin’s  wasn’t up to much, although I didn’t want to upset him and he kept offering me his own mattress but it didn’t seem right to take it: he’s an old man and I could manage…”</p><p>“But your back’s bad?” Sam was already moving, twisting to try and sit on the small bed beside his older brother, stumbling a little from the movement of the van as he did but determined to try and soothe Dean’s pain away with his hand.</p><p>The other shrugged and adjusted his posture yet again: “I wasn’t thinking this through, Sammy. I <em>am</em> looking forward to getting home. I’m <em>definitely</em> looking forward to my own bed. But I didn’t think about the six hour or so journey to get there… she ain’t happy and neither am I!”</p><p>As he was saying that, Dean was rubbing at his bump to try and settle the squirming baby inside. With a yawn he moved to try and stretch his body out a little, regretting the abrupt awakening well before dawn when he had only just really managed to get comfortable enough to <em>finally</em> fall asleep in Benjamin’s lumpy spare room bed, and bumping his arm and head slightly against the hard metal side of the van in the process as Claire smoothly manoeuvred around a bend in the road.</p><p>Sam watched his effort with a little guilt: <em>he</em> hadn’t really thought this through either. All that had mattered to him for the last few months was finding his brother, but… somehow… during all the stress of not knowing where he was and the worry about what had happened in that other world and imagining what the hell could have been the <em>cause</em> of the older man’s mysterious pregnancy against all the universal known laws of nature… Sam had failed to grasp one simple fact.</p><p>His big brother was <em>pregnant! </em></p><p>And was probably suffering from a few of the pleasures that accompanied child expectancy: nausea; heartburn; swollen ankles; back pain…</p><p>… Not feeling comfortable in his own body…</p><p>… Not sleeping very well.</p><p>Sam had already noticed immediately how pale Dean seemed to be… but now he was noticing the constant tiredness behind the green eyes and he could see the uninterrupted exhaustion in the older man’s movements.</p><p>That was it. The younger man was reaching across for the dual pillows on the small bed nearly before he had even thought about what he was doing. “Come here.”</p><p>Dean stared blankly at him. “What?”</p><p>But Sam was already on the move, swinging himself back down from the mattress to the slightly gritty but carpeted floor of the van, taking the pillows with him to set against the back of the front seats before settling himself against them. “Come down here. Trust me.” And he patted between the denim of his long legs as he spread them.</p><p>The older man’s eyebrows raised. Sam smiled up at him. “<em>Trust</em> me.” And he patted the floor of the van again.</p><p>Sam hadn’t realised how much the moment had meant to him when Dean simply nodded and moved to sit down with him: the younger man assisting the pregnant man to carefully settle between his legs before reaching for the soft woven blanket that Benjamin had pressed into his brother’s arms just before they had left the cabin in Pawnee.</p><p>“Here.” And he was tucking it around Dean, and adjusted his position to make his brother as comfortable as possible as he leant back against the solidness of Sam’s chest. Whether he <em>himself</em> would be comfortable didn’t matter. “This okay?”</p><p>Dean wriggled down where he sat a little: Sam bit his lip hard and wilfully forced away his body’s instant reaction to the motion and his brother’s close proximity <em>praying</em> that the other man didn’t become aware of it and freak out. The pregnant man’s hands automatically moved to rest on his bump. Sam took the chance to cover them with his own while tightening his arms to try and give his brother even more support. “Try and get some rest.”</p><p>There was another silence.</p><p>“This feels weird.” Dean suddenly muttered.</p><p>Sam snorted with amusement despite himself: “Are you more comfortable though? You can go back up on the bed if that’s better.”</p><p>“Nah, this is okay.” Dean conceded. “Bit chick-flickie, though. Gotta say: it’s like sitting against a radiator, you’re so warm. How are you so hot?”</p><p>Sam snorted again. So did the blonde in the front of the van who most definitely <em>hadn’t </em>been listening intently to their whole conversation.</p><p>“Hey Claire?” Dean called suddenly. “Once you’ve dropped us at the Bunker, don’t you go anywhere before I’ve had a look at this engine: it sounds like you’ve got a cracked flywheel.”</p><p>“I… what?”</p><p>“Just take his word for it,” Sam told her. “Dean knows everything there is to about motors. I always hoped he’d make a career out of it somehow. But you’re not looking at <em>any</em> engine until after my niece is born and it’s safe for you to so,” he informed his brother.</p><p>“I’ll be fine.” Dean shrugged. “I’ve been doing up Ben’s old jalopy for him: believe me, I didn’t think it was going to even <em>get</em> us to the doc’s the first time…”</p><p>“<em>I’ll</em> fix Claire’s flywheel. You can direct me from the side and take the credit.”</p><p>“Like <em>hell</em> I will!”</p><p>“Guys!” Claire felt she had to interject, “You’ve only been together again for a few hours! <em>Chill!</em>”</p><p>“Sorry, mom!” Dean grinned.</p><p>And Sam <em>laughed</em>.</p><p>He felt whole for the first time in a long few months <em>and</em> that a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had so <em>missed</em> Dean. He had never before realised how much.</p><p>He had meant what he had said: whatever this bitch goddess-thing had in store for his brother… <em>whatever</em> might be coming… well then, he was fucking well going to be right beside him facing it no matter what.</p><p>He couldn’t help but hold Dean tighter, using his strong leg muscles as well to press against his brother’s sides to try and give as much physical support and provide as comfortable a place for a pregnant person to recline against as he could. <em>And</em> he resisted the urge to nuzzle his lips against the side of the other’s head as he did, which Sam was definitely going to count as a win.</p><p>His heart swelled as he felt the baby push against the side of his arm as his hands covered Dean’s: a continuous motion as if she was curious and trying to feel what was against the other side of her father’s skin. “She likes you,” his brother grunted. “She’s trying to scope you out.”</p><p>“I like <em>her</em> as well,” Sam confided. “I’m looking forward to meeting her. Now try and get some rest: you look like you haven’t had a good night’s sleep for a long, long time.”</p><p>“I haven’t.” Dean confessed.  The warmth from his younger brother’s body and the slight rocking motion of the van as it travelled along was beginning to have an effect. He could feel his eyes beginning to close despite himself…</p><p>But he still had to say something: “Sammy?”</p><p>“Hmmm?”</p><p>“That… erm, beard you’ve been cultivating… is it going to be a permanent thing?”</p><p>Despite himself, the young man chuckled. “Why? Don’t you like it?”</p><p>“Nah. No, actually I hate it! Makes you look like a hobo! But… I’ll <em>try</em> to get used to it…”</p><p>Sam smiled as he felt the older man’s voice slow as he finally admitted defeat and slowly relaxed… until Dean’s head was rolling back against his shoulder and he was shifting his position against his younger brother slightly as sleep completely overtook him for a couple of hours.</p><p>Carefully Sam tried to adjust his own posture: he could wish the cushions were that little bit more padded as his back was already aware of the solidness of the seats behind him, but there was no way he was going to move and disturb Dean. He would hold him like this for the rest of his life if he had to. And definitely for the rest of the drive home.</p><p>Speaking of which…</p><p>Sam stretched his body as far as he could and manage to raise himself up and twist his neck around just enough to be able to see the blonde driving the van in the rear view mirror.</p><p>Claire also glanced into it and met his eyes…</p><p>… She nodded.</p><p>Sam felt relief flood through him</p><p>And then Claire was turning away, returning her concentration to the road, while Sam shifted back to his previous position as delicately as he could, hoping that he didn’t disturb the now soundly asleep Dean. “I’ve got your back, big brother.” He whispered to him. “I <em>always</em> will. You can count on it.”</p><p>Behind him in the driver’s seat, Claire reached beside her and disconnected the call on her cell phone.</p><p>In her truck following them, Jody also switched off her cell and took a deep breath. She had wondered what her girl was doing when Claire had sent a text saying simply ‘don’t speak’. But when the call had come through immediately after, she had obeyed the instruction and answered it without a word.</p><p>All she had had to do the last long few minutes was listen…</p><p>… somewhat stunned…</p><p>… but the Winchester brothers were strong. Even stronger when they were together. And they had come though worse. They had forgiven each other <em>far</em> worse, if everything she had been told by the other Hunters was true…</p><p>And they obviously loved each other a great deal. Even more than she had ever realised, or actually <em>wanted</em> to know.</p><p>And neither of them would ever give up on the other, no matter what…</p><p>Aw, what the hell, her boys would be just fine.</p><p>And if they weren’t, then she’d just have to give them both a stern talking to!</p><p>The convoy of Claire’s van and Jody’s truck rolled on. To get from Pawnee to the Bunker meant a journey of around six to seven hours… if they could have just kept driving.</p><p>But Dean only managed to sleep soundly for a couple of hours before he awoke abruptly and <em>desperate</em> to find a restroom.</p><p>“There’s a cassette toilet stashed under the bed.” Claire helpfully informed him.  “I bought the van with the express purpose of sleeping in it. Motels every night can get expensive.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I can’t… <em>you</em> know.”</p><p>“We won’t look.” The blonde grinned. “Sam’s probably seen you use the bathroom before anyway. You were brought up in Hunter lifestyle, weren’t you: I bet there’s <em>nothing </em>about the other you haven’t seen at least <em>once</em>.”</p><p>“No.” The older Winchester was aghast. “No! Not in here! With you! And… <em>No!</em> Can you stop at the next restroom, please? And… <em>soon.</em>”</p><p>“Okay.” She was finding this far too amusing.</p><p>Whereas Sam was in a private panic about his brother being seen by anyone else and his unusual shape for a man noticed. He brooded on the problem even while Claire was watching for the next rest stop, which luckily for Dean’s composure, turned out to be only a couple of miles away.</p><p>She parked as close as she could get to the men’s restroom.</p><p>“Here!” Sam took his jacket off and thrust it at his brother, who was already moving to open the rear door of the van. Dean stared at him blankly. “I know it’ll be big on you but it’ll hide…”</p><p>“How fat I am. Say it, Sammy. I’m <em>fat</em>.”</p><p>“You’re not fat, Dean. You’ve just got a little bigger…” Claire tried to help. The younger brother instantly wished that she hadn’t.</p><p>“I <em>know</em> I’m bigger!” The older man suddenly looked ready to burst into tears. “I’m <em>fat</em>, and my old comfy jeans don’t fit me anymore. I worried I’d get stuck behind the steering wheel in my Baby; I constantly need to piss, and my ankles keep swelling up and the smell of bacon makes me want to throw up… I really mis<em>s</em> <em>bacon!</em> I fucking <em>hate</em> this!”</p><p>Claire blinked at the unpleasant stench that suddenly filled the van. She didn’t know where it had come from… but for some reason she immediately associated it with Dean and his slightly hysterical and completely unwarranted self-disgust. Every urge in her body told her to go and comfort him…</p><p>But Sam already had his arms around his brother: “You’re only bigger because you’re going to have a baby.” He was rubbing Dean’s back as he tried to keep the tone of his voice as soothing as possible. “Your body will return to normal… well, your <em>new</em> normal… once she’s here. And you won’t care <em>anyway</em> because you’ll be too besotted with your little girl. And I promise the first thing I’ll cook you once she’s arrived is a bacon sandwich.</p><p>But for now, please put my jacket over you. <em>Please</em>.”</p><p>He used his eyes to their best pleading effect.</p><p>Then Sam’s dimples were coming out as Dean blinked hard a couple of times, before sighing and taking the soft, <em>large</em> plaid over-shirt in question from his younger brother.</p><p>Who had been quite correct: once it was buttoned up, it hid the older man’s unusual shape and just made him look slightly like a little boy wearing his daddy’s clothes…</p><p>Sam couldn’t help but be more than a little satisfied at the thought that it was <em>his</em> clothes though.</p><p>“What we doin’?” Jody had pulled her truck up beside the van and come round to join them, peering after Dean as he finally all but ran across to the rest room. She stepped back quickly as Sam hurried to follow, reluctant to let his brother out of his sight just in case and wincing at twinges now in his own back.</p><p>“Did you hear?” Claire asked as she also stepped out, glad to stretch her legs.</p><p>“I heard. Thanks, that was good thinking. Let’s go and grab some snacks to munch for the next bit.”</p><p>When they returned the brothers were waiting outside the van: both also grateful to stand up for a few minutes although Sam was making sure to place himself where his larger body would cover any curious by-passer’s view of Dean. “Dude, I’m <em>fine</em>…” he was complaining, but the younger man didn’t care.</p><p>“So.” The sheriff asked. “Who’ya going to travel with this time?”</p><p>“You can take the bed in the back again if you need more rest, Dean,” Claire offered.</p><p>“Nah, I’m good.” He blushed slightly. “Sorry for being so pathetic.”</p><p>“You’re not pathetic, boy.” Jody told him. “I remember what it was like to be pregnant: throws your whole body out of whack. Now. You wanna come with me for a while? Or stay with Claire?”</p><p>“Or I can call Cas and see where he’s gone to with the Impala,” Sam wondered. “Where <em>has</em> he gone to anyway?”</p><p>“He said sommat about heading straight back to get some groceries in before you arrived. All what you had has probably gone out of date anyway, and Benjamin gave him a list of what Dean can manage to stomach.”</p><p>“That’s good of him.” The younger Winchester was grateful, as well as slightly guilty that he hadn’t thought of it himself. “I’ll give him a call and see what he’s getting.”</p><p>“Ask him to bring some pie!” Dean ordered. Sam couldn’t help but grin as he pressed the speed dial button for his friend.</p><p>“Sam.” It was answered promptly, as if the angel was expecting the call. “What flavour of pie would he prefer?”</p><p>It wasn’t often that Sam Winchester found himself speechless… then: “Cas? Have you been using your magical gracey-power to listen to our conversation?”</p><p>There was a long pause from the other end of the line.</p><p>“I apologise, Sam. I only wanted to… I wanted to know what he thought… and where we stood…</p><p>Please tell Claire I am sorry if I have made her ashamed of me.”</p><p>“Well?” The blonde had heard enough of Sam’s side to demand an answer. “Has he been listening <em>in?</em>”</p><p>Sam sighed and relayed the message: “He has, and he says he is sorry if he has made you ashamed of him.”</p><p>“Ashamed of him how?” Dean asked innocently.</p><p>There was another pause. Then: “Don’t worry about it.” “It’s nothing.” “I’m sure it don’t matter.” Dean stared in confusion and a growing suspicion at them all as the three voices all but spoke over each other’s at the same time… and Sam stared at Jody with furrowed eyebrows and more than a slight anxiety…</p><p>But then Castiel was speaking in his ear again. “And I am sorry if I have angered <em>you</em>, Sam. I did not mean to intrude on your private communications…”</p><p>“It’s fine, Cas.” he interrupted. “We’re going to get on our way again. You might as well keep on listening: save Dean re-telling his story over and over…”</p><p>“Sam?” The green eyes now were staring straight at him.</p><p>“Well, I never got the chance to ask you last time, but you have a whole month of being missing to catch us up to date on. What better chance to tell us than now, when we’ve got a few hours to kill in a vehicle together. Or we can just play i-spy?”</p><p>Dean scratched at the back of his head nervously… “But…” he gestured at Jody and Claire with his other hand, “I…”</p><p>“They already know the worst of it.” Sam reminded him. He briefly glanced across at the sheriff: he had a horrible feeling that she <em>definitely</em> already knew the worst of it, but then his attention was returning to his brother so he could plead with Dean with years-of-practice perfected puppy-dog-eyes. “We’re all in this with you… and we’ve all got questions…”</p><p>“We can use the cells: keep the line open between the vehicles…” Claire was already moving round to the driver’s seat of her van. Sam felt his blood run cold. “You with me, Dean? Or Jody? And don’t you dare leave anything out!”</p><p>“C’mon, boy.” The sheriff clapped him on the back and opened the passenger door to her truck. “It’ll be good to know you’re safely back. Come and keep me company, even if we only end up discussing why pecan pie will beat apple every time. C’mon, get in!”</p><p>She moved off around her vehicle to climb in to the driver’s side, leaving the brothers standing beside the open door. “<em>Please</em>, Dean.” Sam had <em>never</em> purposely used his eyes to such deliberate effect before: he was <em>sure</em> he hadn’t!</p><p>His brother rubbed the back of his head again. And sighed. “Yeah… <em>oh-k</em>ay.”</p><p>He had talked himself out by the time they finally reached the Bunker, having spent the last couple of hours telling Sam and his three most trusted friends everything he could remember about the other dimension that he had somehow been taken to, and returned from being <em>sooo</em> different.</p><p>Jody had sat quiet for the most part and let him speak, all too aware that Dean found it difficult to do so when the subject matter was himself. So had Sam on the other side of his brother, his thigh pressed tight against Dean’s own in the small enclosed cab of the truck and his hand covering the other’s ready to give a reassuring squeeze whenever the atmosphere in the truck began to smell of distressed omega.</p><p>If the sheriff noticed she didn’t comment, although occasionally she would lower the driver’s window for a moment or two despite the noisy rush of the wind past the moving vehicle. She only spoke to ask for clarification on a couple of points, (as did Claire who was listening intently on her phone in the van behind them, and once when Castiel had had to call on <em>his</em> cell phone to ask for elucidation that his sanctioned long-distance eavesdropping couldn’t supply)… the main one being when her boy dismissed a fight with a simple ‘I had to kick some ass’, which when pressed by them all turned out to just him on his lonesome trying to defend the three terrified children in their own home against ‘a few men’, which when he was pushed even <em>more</em>  yielded the disturbing truth that the ‘few men’ had actually numbered about nine of them and they were <em>Alphas</em> at that, and that the desperate (but truly <em>awesome</em> and all the listeners were <em>incredibly</em> proud of him) struggle had resulted in Dean receiving a couple of fractured ribs, a broken arm and a serious stab wound that to all their horror had come <em>far</em> too close to nearly killing him and they all privately determined to show him how distraught they would have been if they had lost him and how much he was truly <em>loved</em>… but essentially the greater part of the journey was taken up by the older Winchester’s gravelly voice and his incredible tale.</p><p>Following Sam’s directions as they got closer, Jody finally was relieved to pull her truck up outside… she didn’t know what the <em>hell</em> it was! Surely her boys didn’t live here? It looked like… a solid metal door set into a solid metal arched doorway set into the side of a goddamn <em>hillside</em> that had a monstrous mass of concrete and cement set above it…</p><p>This wasn’t a <em>home.</em></p><p>And it sure as hell wasn’t a home for a <em>child!</em></p><p><em>“</em>Y’all sure this is it? I’ve been thinking.  Dean, why don’t you pick up a few things and come and stay with me? <em>And </em>Sam can come! At least you’ll have other people there as well to help look after you… before <em>and</em> after the baby…”</p><p>Dean was still getting used to his newly sharpened sense of smell… but he was suddenly <em>definitely</em> aware of his younger brother’s anger beside him. And <em>Jesus!</em> Sam’s rage <em>stunk!</em></p><p>Quickly he moved to calm both his brother <em>and</em> the moment down. “No, that’s okay, Jody. I know how it looks from the outside, but c’mon in and see it. This is <em>home</em>.</p><p>But… if I can’t cope… If I’m struggling… I mean. Well, <em>you</em> know… then I’ll keep that in mind… if that’s okay…”</p><p>“Of <em>course</em> it is!” And the sheriff was throwing her arms around him, which in the confined space of the cab of the truck was no easy feat. “You’re <em>always</em> welcome! Both of ya!” And somehow she was pulling Sam into the embrace as well, which was even <em>more</em> impressive. “I didn’t mean…</p><p>What I’m <em>trying</em> to say… is that this isn’t going to be just the two of you for much longer. And that little girl, although she won’t need much more than <em>you</em>, boy, for the first year or so… I’m supposing she’s going to grow at the same rate as a norm…” She broke off abruptly and tried again. “Well, whatever: you want her to grow up having a normal <em>life</em>, don’tcha? She’s going to need to go to school: she’s going to want to have friends. She ain’t gonna want to bring them back here. I mean…</p><p>Just think about it. And you are… always… <em>welcome</em>.”</p><p>“Thanks, Jody.” It was heartfelt.</p><p>The brunette felt herself tear up a little and hastily blinked a few times. “Idgit.” She joked.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“C’mon.” Sam also had gotten something in his eye. “Let’s get you inside.”</p><p> He couldn’t help looking forward to Claire and Jody’s reaction to the inside of the Bunker. He could see the same excited spark of anticipation in Dean’s eyes as well…</p><p>… or was that just the thought of the pie that Castiel was hopefully going to bring back with him?</p><p>He wasn’t disappointed when he unlocked the door and stepped back to let the two women enter: the gasps and ‘wows’ were music to his ears. “Oh my god! It’s <em>huge!</em>”</p><p>And he <em>especially</em> wasn’t disappointed when his brother couldn’t resist commenting as he also went past: “Well, <em>I’ve</em> heard that all my life, but it’s probably the first for Sammy!”</p><p><em>God</em>, how he had missed him!</p><p>Dean vanished quickly in the direction of the nearest bathroom, and with Jody and Claire still exclaiming while busily exploring all the different  doors and corridors off the main room, that only left a sighing Sam to start unloading the considerable amount of luggage that his brother and niece-to-be had managed to amass in the last few months.</p><p>“<em>Sam!</em>” The worried shout had him discarding everything without a thought and running in the direction that it had come from…</p><p>He found all three of them standing beside the open doorway of Dean’s bedroom… but any thoughts about anything else vanished without a trace from Sam’s mind as he took in the complexion of his brother.</p><p>Dean’s face had paled so much it was almost grey… scrub that, there was a definite <em>green</em> tinge to his pallor. He looked like he was going to be violently sick. Or collapse, whichever came first.</p><p>Or <em>both</em>.</p><p>“Dean? Shit! Come and sit down. C’mon…” He had his arms tight around the older man… the disapproving expression on Jody’s face be <em>damned</em>… and was trying to lead him in to the room towards the bed…</p><p>If anything, Dean’s colour got even greyer… or greener.</p><p>He began to try to pull away from the younger man: “The <em>smell</em>, Sammy! It’s foul… it’s <em>gross</em>… I’m gonna throw up!” And Sam was releasing him fully in a hurry as Dean jerked free and lurched with some considerable urgency back to the bathroom. They all winced at the sounds that almost immediately followed.</p><p>“What does he mean, the ‘smell’, Sam?” Jody began, but Claire interrupted her:</p><p>“It <em>is</em> stale in here. The air, I mean. There’s sweat, and… something else that’s… Even <em>my</em> nose is wrinkling with how stagnant it is, and Dean’s sense of smell is <em>far</em> beyond mine now. When was the bedding etc last changed: would you know?”</p><p>She looked expectantly at Sam… who looked blank. “<em>I</em> don’t know. I mean… since he disappeared I’ve spent the entire time looking for him… so nothing in this room’s been touched since that night…</p><p>That night he…</p><p>Oh shit.”</p><p>“Sam?”</p><p>“We… er… “</p><p>“What is it, boy?”</p><p>“We used to use his room. For…er… I mean. Dean had the most comfortable bed. So… er…”</p><p>“And nothing’s been changed in here since?” The sheriff’s tone was sharp. “So he can smell what <em>you</em> and Castiel and the other Dean <em>did…? </em>You used his <em>room?!”</em></p><p>“Did I hear my name?” The angel chose that moment to appear around the corner of the Bunker, still with a couple of bags of groceries in his arms. “What’s going on? What’s that sound? Is Dean…?”At any other time Sam would have been amused at how quickly Cas’s face went from smiling to abashed… if it weren’t for the fact that <em>his</em> face was probably even more so…</p><p>“Let’s get this room sorted out for him.” Jody took charge. “In fact, we’ll have a tidy up all round. Sam, where do you keep the clean bedding? And is there any air freshener…?”</p><p>“Benjamin sent candles: handmade ones from local bees with natural fragrances that he said would help Dean to relax. We could light one of them.” Claire pointed out.</p><p>“Good idea. Go and get them! <em>Well?</em> Go’on git moving! <em>All</em> of you!”</p><p>“Yes ma’am!”</p><p>Sam spoke for them all as every single one of the others hustled to obey…</p><p>Jody sighed as she watched them all scurry away and went in search of Dean.</p><p>To her relief the unpleasant sounds from the bathroom had eased. But she was still concerned when she discovered the pregnant man slumped exhaustedly beside the toilet. The brunette was down on her knees beside him in an instant.</p><p>“Hey.” She wrapped her arms around him, tightening them as she felt Dean trembling from his efforts immediately before.</p><p>“I can’t <em>do</em> this, Jody! Look at me! I’m so <em>useless!</em> I’m so fat I <em>waddle</em>, and everything that I previously <em>loved</em> just makes me hurl! And every single fucking <em>smell</em> does the same!</p><p>I can’t even <em>stomach</em> the thought of red meat! And that room… <em>my</em> room… Just walking <em>into</em> it did this…</p><p><em>Look</em> at me!</p><p>Sammy’s probably already wishing he’d never found me: I don’t know why he even bothered to <em>look</em>…”</p><p>Jody had to bite down hard to contain her smirk: “Boy, now you just hold ya horses and listen to me! Sam’s not done <em>anything</em> but look for you since the day you went missing… why? Because he loves you! I admit I’m a bit surprised at just how <em>much</em>, but… he would never give up on you, because <em>you</em> have never given up on <em>him!</em></p><p>And he <em>loves</em> you.</p><p>So <em>much</em>, Dean. We <em>all</em> do. None of us <em>ever</em> would have stopped looking.</p><p>And none of us are looking at you any different, aside from the fact that you’re pregnant! Believe me: I remember <em>that!</em> I banned my poor Sean from touching a drop of coffee all the way through my nine months because the smell made me throw up <em>every</em> single darned time… and the day I found out he’d been sneaking it at his work… oh boy! I was almost a widow before I was a mommy!”</p><p>Jody paused to take a breath. “All that matters to us, <em>any</em> of us, is that we’ve got you back safely and we’re going to do everything we can to help you through this.</p><p>All <em>you</em> need to do, is concentrate on yourself for probably the first time <em>ever</em> in your life. And in a couple of months all the nausea will have passed, all the extra weight will have gone… probably… and you won’t give a flying fuck because all that will matter is that little baby in your arms!</p><p>Now c’mon. Let’s get you up off this floor. You can rinse your mouth and wash your face, and I’ll make you a nice cup of that tea that Benjamin packed for ya, okay?” </p><p>“Okay, mom!”</p><p>The words were humourous… but there was a tone of longing beneath them that brought definite tears to Jody’s eyes. “You better believe it!” was all she could manage to say once she had blinked a couple of times. “And I’m claiming the position of doting grandma, so you better get used to it!”</p><p>Dean, now back on his feet, chuckled at her but there was a noticeable hitch in his voice when he next spoke: “Okay… grandma!”</p><p>Jody gave him a big hug, which was returned warmly. “Rinse your mouth, ya big lug! I’ll go and find that box with those packets in.”</p><p>Leaving Dean to regain his composure, Jody turned from closing the bathroom door to find an anxious Sam standing behind her, his arms full of clean, fresh bedding. “He okay?”</p><p>“He’s fine.” The sheriff smiled. “I remember being pregnant with O… Owen: my emotions were all <em>over</em> the place. Mood-swings just don’t come <em>close</em> to describing it! And I was <em>terrified</em>: terrified that I wouldn’t cope; that I’d be a terrible parent; that I’d done the wrong thing by even <em>wanting</em> to have a baby, that somehow I’d messed Sean’s and my life’s up completely!</p><p>You’ve got a few rough weeks ahead, boy, but just give him some slack…”</p><p>“I’m worried about the nausea and sickness, Jody. Even that Benjamin said Dean’s almost constant vomiting was worrying…”</p><p>“He also wondered if it was because your brother wasn’t <em>born</em> an omega but instead was turned. His body’s gone through so much change in only a few months, this being only the apex of it! He’s been changed into… <em>something</em>; he’s grown a <em>womb</em> for god’s sake! His entire system’s struggling to catch up! Some women have morning sickness the whole way through the pregnancy and at all times and they haven’t gone through anything like he has!”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess.” Sam didn’t sound convinced. If anything he looked more worried. “I just... I was so wrapped up in finding him that I… never really thought about…”</p><p>“I know.” The brunette smiled up at him. “I just told him and I’m telling you: I count myself as family to both you boys. And I intend to be around from now on. A <em>lot!</em>”</p><p>She got her second warm hug in as many minutes, despite Sam’s arms being somewhat hampered by the bedding. And a fully-deeply-dimpled grin that she was just realising that she had missed very much. “You’ll be welcome, Jody. You always will be. And Claire of course.”</p><p>“Here, give me those.” She took the sheets and blankets from him. “You get yourself a shower and get some fresh clothes and er…” she motioned at her own chin… “why don’t you try and tidy up a little? He’s right: you <em>do</em> look like a hobo. And smell a bit like one as well!” the sheriff added mischievously.</p><p>Sam nodded absently… then suddenly blushed as her words registered. “Look, Jody, I…”</p><p>“None of my business, Sam! Just… mind your brother. Look out for him. He needs you now more than he <em>ever</em> has. Now go on!”</p><p>The young man hastened to obey, hurrying to his own room to fetch some toiletries and clean clothes before moving to the bathroom that he normally used. For the first time in a <em>long</em> time, he took more than a brief look at himself in the mirror… and was surprised by his reflection.</p><p>His hair had <em>grown</em>. The majority was now far beyond shoulder-length and his bangs were falling over his face. He had taken to pinning it up in a small ponytail to keep it from getting in his eyes (mindful of the mockery that he would have received from his brother had Dean seen and yet yearning for it at the same time), but actually… it did look a mess. Even to him.</p><p>And his beard? It was wispy and unkempt all at once, not to mention straggly and sticking out awkwardly in patches. And, oh my god, Sam could see his dad when he looked at himself! He had always thought that Dean looked more like John… with the exception of his brother having their mother’s vivid green eyes of course… but… there was just that little bit of similarity in the mirrored glass…</p><p>That was it. The beard was coming off! Every last bit of it!</p><p>And it was totally worth it, when half an hour or so later, he emerged from the room amid a cloud of steam, (and with a slightly sore chin), and headed to where he could hear conversation and laughter.</p><p>He found his brother and his friends in the kitchen. Dean was settled on one of the chairs at the small table with a hot drink in his hands (having been told somewhat firmly after the third time of asking that his help was <em>not</em> needed) talking away to the two females and Castiel who were all preoccupied between them with cooking and putting the last of the newly bought groceries away.</p><p>He looked round as Sam entered… and the wide open genuine smile of pleasure on his face as he saw his brother in his newly unshaven state just made the younger man’s heart feel like it would swell so much as to burst. He couldn’t help himself from moving directly across to Dean and wrapping his arms around him, but managed to curb his desperate temptation to rub his newly smooth skin against the other man’s face to instead simply ask: “Better?”</p><p>“<em>Much!</em>” Dean allowed the hug to continue a couple more moments, then: “Erm, Sammy?”</p><p>“Chick flick over?” The younger man said it with a smile but didn’t let go… not just yet.</p><p>“Chick flick over.”</p><p>Reluctantly Sam let go: “What’cha cooking over there, Jody? It’s smelling good!”</p><p>“Claire’s in charge,” came the simple response. “Cas and I have been sorting the rooms out: yours as well, Sam.” She hurried on as the younger brother caught his breath and looked at her with wide eyes. “I know you haven’t had a chance to do much here lately… and even less inclination with everything else on your mind.</p><p>So you’ve both got clean fresh bedding and they’ve been given an airing, while Claire got on with putting a couple of chickens in to roast…. this is a tremendous kitchen you boys have got by the way…  so you’ll have plenty of leftovers for sandwiches or whatever tomorrow. And there’s jacket potatoes and broccoli and a plain gravy: we thought that simple food might be better...”</p><p>“Good thinking.” Sam was so grateful to them all. Internally he felt <em>he</em> was freaking out about… well, <em>everything!</em>... but these wonderful people that he thought of as family rather than just friends were all so incredibly calm and just taking the whole situation in their stride. “Anything I can do?”</p><p>“Nah, just sit. Your brother’s been supervising, so everything should be away in the correct cupboards okay. You wanna beer?”</p><p>“I…” but then Sam was pausing to glance at Dean… and his bump. “No. Thanks but I’m good.”</p><p>“Don’t feel you can’t on <em>my</em> account.” His brother grunted. “Go ahead.”</p><p>“I’m good.” The younger man repeated. “Can I smell coffee? That’ll be fine.”</p><p>“Uh huh” Claire grinned knowingly. “We’re <em>all </em>laying off the alcohol for a while. There’s still some time to go before we can eat, but do you think we’ll all fit around this table? You wanna set it and find another chair?”</p><p>“I’ll fetch one.” Castiel spoke up. “Before I forget to say, there is apple pie for dessert.”</p><p>“Can we have it first? Like <em>now?</em>” Dean asked earnestly and made everybody laugh.</p><p>And the laughter went on throughout the meal, when they were all squished around the small table in the kitchen, (Dean having moved up a little to make room for Castiel’s wings to the other three’s incredulity and the appreciation of the angel)… and afterwards when they had all finished eating, they were all still there sampling Dean’s new herbal teas and discovering that they were actually really pleasant to drink… and after <em>that</em>, when the evening had stretched into night but the stories... some true, some not: all unanimously light or funny, no sadness wanted <em>that</em> evening… went on.</p><p>Sam was sitting next to his brother and hearing him laugh… and he suddenly realised... it abruptly came to him like a bolt from the blue… that this was <em>really</em> all that he had ever actually <em>wanted</em>.</p><p>Him, his brother, a family. Didn’t have to be a blood one to count as <em>family</em>.</p><p>Just being <em>happy</em>.</p><p><em>This</em> was all Sam had wanted all his life. And he finally had it.</p><p>As if somehow sensing the emotions swirling around inside his little brother’s mind, Dean, without even turning his head, reached to pat Sam’s leg.</p><p>The younger man immediately simply closed his own large hand over his brother’s to hold it where it was… and felt his life was finally complete when Dean let him. For a few minutes at least.</p><p>But it was enough. Sam could <em>do</em> this. He could be a brother again and <em>only</em> a brother, and a proud uncle.</p><p>And that was enough.</p><p>Because in every other way, he had everything he would ever need.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Over the next weeks they gradually fell into a new routine.</p><p>Sam had awoken late that first morning; surprised that he had slept in for so long and with his brain feeling almost foggy from too <em>much</em> sleep after so many months of hardly any.</p><p>He had stumbled into the kitchen unable to stifle his yawns…</p><p>“Tough night?” Jody chuckled from where she sat at the table enjoying a mug-full of steaming hot coffee and looking at her tablet.</p><p>“Hh-hum.” Sam couldn’t help but yawn again. “Where is everyone? Any sign of Dean yet?” as he also helped himself to some of the beverage.</p><p>The brunette snorted. “He’s been up for hours! He decided that he didn’t like the way we’d stocked the cupboards yesterday after all, so I caught him rearranging everything this morning!”</p><p>“He what?!” The young man stared. “He’s supposed to be <em>resting!</em>”</p><p>“Relax,” Jody grinned. “Castiel was helping him: between them they’ve wiped down just about every surface in here! It’s called ‘nesting’, boy. He’s come home, and he just wants everything right, that’s all.”</p><p>Her smile was infectious: Sam calmed down just seeing it. He laughed and sat across from her. “I remember just after we’d found this place and moved in…</p><p>Dean was so excited. I didn’t get it then. I suppose I’d had four or so years at College and I still had hopes of somehow living… a normal <em>life</em>.</p><p>In a normal house with a ‘white picket fence’ as he would say…</p><p>I didn’t get how much it <em>meant</em> to him. Actually having a room of his very own. Coming back to the same walls beneath the same roof, knowing that he could leave something and it would still be there exactly where he left it…”</p><p>Sam smiled at the memories: “it was then he began to cook properly and I realised just how bloody good he <em>is!</em> He should have been a <em>chef</em>, never mind a mechanic!</p><p>And when I took the mickey out of him, that’s exactly what he used to say… that he was nesting! I remember him getting so upset that I didn’t feel the same way about this place as he did: that I only thought of it as a workplace and not a home…</p><p>He sighed.</p><p>“I just didn’t <em>understand</em>…”</p><p>“You do <em>now</em>, boy!” Jody told him. “And the way you’ve been determined to find him and bring him back here, <em>you</em> think of this place as ‘home’ as well now!”</p><p>“<em>He’s</em> my home.” The man spoke without thinking… but even if he had, he would have said exactly the same thing.</p><p> The sheriff met his eyes and nodded... then changed the subject… sort of. “I’m still amazed at the inside of this place, Sam. It’s… wow! But for a child…”</p><p>“I know,” he agreed. “I was thinking about that last night…. If we need to, then we’ll take you up on your offer please. But for now, he seems happy to be home. Where is he, anyway? He better be resting <em>now!</em>”</p><p>Jody laughed again. “Hardly! He was worried about the way Claire’s engine was sounding so they’re in the garage… which is also incredible by the way… and I want a go in your shooting range before I leave…”</p><p>She was talking to herself…</p><p> Sam had already gone.</p><p>“What the hell are you <em>doing?</em>” he all but exploded as he caught up to where his brother, the angel and the beautiful young blonde were all standing around the open hood of the van. “I told you not to work on it! I told you <em>I’d</em> do it!”</p><p>“Don’t get your panties in the proverbial twist, Princess!” Sam might have completely missed Dean these last few months but just at that exact moment he couldn’t actually remember <em>why</em>. “Cas and Claire have done the heavy stuff: all I’ve done is tell them what to do!”</p><p>At least that made Sam pause. “Seriously?”</p><p>“He has not touched the engine, Sam.” Castiel’s tone was as calm and steady as always. “Claire is leaving this afternoon and he was worried that the van would fail her…”</p><p>“You’re going? <em>Already!?” </em> The young man had all but forgotten why he had rushed to the garage. “I thought… well, I hoped…</p><p>You’re welcome to stay. As long as you want. You can use this as a base if you’d like…”</p><p>“What my Sammy is trying to say,” Dean laughed. Sam thought it was a wonderful sound. “What he’s trying so inarticulately to say, is that you’re family. And you’re welcome to call this place home.”</p><p>“I’d like that,” Claire smiled. “But right now I have to go. And <em>you!” </em>This was said with a sweep of her hands at all the three men. “Y’all need to… there’s probably still a few things to sort out, let’s say, and it’ll be better if there’s no one else around…</p><p>But I’ll be right at the other end of a phone if you need me. And you can call anytime, I <em>mean</em> that.” This last was addressed to the one of them who was pregnant.</p><p>And he, to his chagrin, had to hastily wipe at his eyes with his sleeve: “Goddamn hormones!”</p><p>Claire laughed as she was suddenly caught in a huge embrace, and she could feel Dean trembling slightly as he tried to contain the strength of his sentiment… “Idgit!” she whispered as she tightened her own arms around his neck in return and felt the man chuckle against her.</p><p>“I wish he was here,” Dean confided right into her ear. “I miss him so much: he always knew what to do…”</p><p>“Jody told me all about him,” Claire breathed back. “She said he was always so proud of you. Loved you like the son he never had…”</p><p>That was it. The mummy-daddy to be had to hastily pull away, averting his eyes to the ground to avoid meeting anyone else’s in the vast open space as he abruptly walked out of sight behind the van. “Sorry, I’ll be right back!”</p><p>“Dean?”</p><p>Sam was already moving to follow, concerned at what could have suddenly caused his brother to seem so upset, but the beautiful blonde caught at his arm: “Just give him a minute. Cas, is it all done now?”</p><p>“It is indeed, Claire.” The angel had also been looking with some concern in the direction that his friend had so hurriedly disappeared to but he turned readily enough back to the young woman:  “That was a lovely thing you said to him: it obviously means the world…”</p><p>“I only told the truth,” but her eyes were glistening, despite her brief annoyance at the angel’s intentional eavesdropping via his inhuman hearing. Sam stood and stared at them both with growing impatience, waiting for an explanation.</p><p>But then he was turning to greet his brother as he heard him returning. Dean’s eyes were red-rimmed and he was somewhat noisily blowing his nose: “Sorry about that! Must have rubbed some grease into my eye…”</p><p>His words were brought up short by the simple expedient of suddenly finding his face pressed against the solid chest of his younger brother and two long strong arms wrapped around his body and back, pulling him in. “You okay?” Sam softly asked.</p><p>Dean tried to pull away. His annoyingly taller and larger little brother held tight… and grinned as he felt the older man concede their small battle with a somewhat grumpy sounding sigh: “I’m fine. Now gerroff!”</p><p>But he didn’t move away as Sam released his hold only enough to instead stand with one arm curled around his brother’s waist as they both turned back to the others: the younger man simply reluctant to not be close to the other man now he had finally found him, and Dean… well…</p><p>… he seemed to appreciate that.</p><p>“Start her up a minute, Claire. Let me hear how she’s running now!”</p><p>“Since when did my van become a she…?” The blonde grumbled good-naturedly even as she climbed into the driver’s seat to obey: her smile becoming a wide grin as the tone of the engine now sounded much smoother even to <em>her</em> untrained ear. “That’s brilliant! Thanks Dean!”</p><p>“Least I can do, Claire. Thanks for…. well, <em>you</em> know… helping <em>this</em> big lug look for me… I…”</p><p>“Nothing more to say.” She shrugged at him. “We’d <em>never</em> have stopped. Not a single one of us.”</p><p>Then they were all grinning as Dean blushed from the tips of his ears to as far beneath the collar of his loose-fitting shirt as could be seen, and Sam couldn’t help but give him another hug. “C’mon. I’m hungry. Claire, you going to grab something to eat before you go?”</p><p>“Always got time for food, Uncle Sammy!” The girl teased him, and it was the younger brother’s turn to go bright red in the face.</p><p>Both the brothers had been sorry when the young woman and Jody had made their excuses soon after the meal and left.</p><p>But at the same time…</p><p>… it was a toss up as to which of them gave the loudest sigh of relief.</p><p>From then on Sam had just about split his time in three. Mornings were spent doing groceries runs, fetching items ordered online by his brother, or studying local advertisements for actual paid work to try and make the brothers at least a <em>little</em> respectable for if they wanted to be part of normal society in the future.</p><p>Evenings were spent sitting with Dean and watching DVDs or actually, to Sam’s amazement, just <em>talking </em>with his brother about… <em>lots</em> of things.</p><p>While the afternoons, which was when the pregnant man often did seem to now need a rest, were spent by Sam on his laptop, looking up news stories and legends for possible hunts as had been his habit for years. The only difference was that now he passed them over to other Hunters, much to his brother’s anxiety: “What if they can’t handle them? What if they need back up?”</p><p>“Then they get back up from someone else. My place is right here with you: I’m not going <em>anywhere</em>, Dean. <em>Really.</em>”</p><p>And every time the older man would bite at his lower lip with a mixture of nervous anxiety and relief that he was desperate not to admit to.</p><p>But Sam knew it anyway.</p><p>He was grateful that Dean seemed to have accepted that his own Hunting days were probably over.</p><p>Not only was the older man’s somewhat eye-catching and definitely abnormal shape making him reluctant to risk leaving the safety of the Bunker at all until the baby was born, but also Dean had determined to himself that his daughter would have <em>one</em> permanent and preferably alive parent to count on: at least until the goddess had finally revealed her plans for him and hopefully, his mate.</p><p>The fact that he was getting increasingly fatigued with every extra pound gained also helped.</p><p>“Let me get that.”</p><p>“I’m fine, Sammy.”</p><p>“Go and sit down and put your feet up. Just tell us what needs doing.”</p><p>And Dean would…</p><p>… Eventually.</p><p>Although quite a few times both Sam and Castiel would have to bite their own lips <em>hard</em> not to get infuriated with him first.</p><p>Between the three of them, the main areas of the Bunker had been cleaned and sanitised to within an inch of their lives… the rooms <em>and</em> the men… well, Sam’s and Castiel’s lives, anyway: the pregnant man having been designated despite his protests to watch only and <em>not</em> assist...</p><p>Dean had had a good look at the rooms either side to his bedroom and eventually decided on the one that would be his daughter’s once she was old enough to sleep on her own. His younger brother and the angel had spent an entire afternoon and evening clearing all the Men of Letter’s sealed crates and boxes out of it: no mean feat when every single one had to be checked carefully in case it contained a cursed or other dangerous item.</p><p>Castiel had been sent off to pick up some low odour paint that Dean had ordered online from the nearest hardware store. Sam had been surprised when it hadn’t been the pastel pinks that <em>he</em> had suggested but instead had mostly consisted of boring browns and greens. Lots of them!</p><p>He had got quite snippy about it: “What do you want these for? It’s going to look terrible!” Then he had regretted his words as Dean’s eyes had filled with tears and the older man had retired to his own room for the rest of the day.</p><p>How Sam had wished he could follow him and just hold his brother tight…</p><p>To hell with it: it had taken him until the evening to build up the nerve but he had done just that. “<em>I’m</em> sorry.”</p><p>“S’okay.” Dean had snuffled into the material of the shirt covering the younger man’s chest.</p><p>“It’s not. We’ll decorate it exactly as you want it: you just tell us and we’ll do it…”</p><p>“S’okay.” His brother had sniffed again.</p><p>The very next day he had asked Sam and Cas if they wouldn’t mind helping him clear out the <em>other</em> room instead.</p><p>Sam sighed as he stood and looked around: that had been three weeks ago and the second choice room had still not been painted, although he had offered numerous times. He had even opened one of the tins of yucky reddish brown paint to start it as a surprise, although it had been <em>him</em> who had been taken aback when he had found it more than half empty. “Dean, you imbecile: you got sold a dud!”</p><p>He had gone to look for his brother. Dean had been worrying him by seeming to be extra tired since… well, since Sam had upset him about the paint… and had actually started listening to their advice about having an afternoon nap most days without <em>arguing</em>.</p><p>Which <em>really</em> worried Sam!</p><p>But the mystery of the missing paint had been forgotten instantly upon finding the older man in his room and once again in tears. “What’s the matter?”</p><p>“I can’t fit into <em>any</em> of my <em>pants!”</em></p><p>Sam smiled as he remembered: it had been one the few times that Dean had actually let himself be held without getting anxious about it. He understood that the older man was still a little worried about being close… <em>too</em> close… to him and Castiel after… well, after what they had gotten up to with the other Dean…</p><p>But.</p><p>His brother might not want to face it, but he had changed. Not only physically, but emotionally.</p><p>In fact… Dean had gotten… actually… really touchy...</p><p>He just hadn’t <em>realised</em> that he had.</p><p>If they were sitting together watching the TV, Dean would rest his hand on his brother’s arm without being aware that he was doing it… And since he had started to seem so tired all the time, Sam had taken to steadying the older man as he walked around just in case he slipped.</p><p> Just a gentle hand against the small of his back…</p><p>… which Dean would lean back against …</p><p>… in fact he would move <em>closer</em> to Sam… or Castiel, if it were the angel providing the support… seeking the touch… yearning for the physical contact when he wasn’t thinking about what he was doing…</p><p>… until all of a sudden he <em>would</em> realise and then he would get flustered and pointedly pull away and bite poutingly at his lower lip and look…</p><p>…<em>adorable</em>…</p><p>… but sad.</p><p>Sam <em>hated</em> it when Dean looked sad.</p><p>Which is why he took every chance to hold him, as did Cas, because the older Winchester, whether he understood why or not, <em>needed</em> that proximity to another living, warm being…</p><p>And if his younger brother and the angel also got some modest pleasure from it then they would take it, no matter how small.</p><p>So over the last few weeks they had fallen into a routine, all three of them. One of as near domestic bliss as each brother had given up thinking that they would ever be able to have…</p><p>Everything was perfect…</p><p>… Well, apart from the still undecorated room…</p><p>Sam once again found himself standing in it, looking around at the still bare concrete walls of the imminent nursery to be with some anxiety. He sighed and called out to his brother: “Dean? Are you up for some painting? <em>We’ll</em> do it. Just come and tell us how <em>you’re</em> wanting it to be: I’m sorry I upset you….</p><p>Dean?”</p><p>He started to panic when he couldn’t find his brother anywhere at all. “Cas? <em>Cas?</em> Have you seen Dean?”</p><p>“He said he needed some air, Sam.” The deep calm voice did nothing to ease the young man’s anxiety.</p><p> “He’s… he’s <em>outside?</em> He’s gone outside the <em>Bunker? </em>I… How…? What were you <em>thinking, </em>letting him<em> go?</em>” Sam all but erupted, hurrying back up to the main area and the curved set of steps that led to the external world and reaching for his cell as he did.</p><p>“Come on, come on: answer your fucking phone…” His long legs had already taken him through the doorway, banging the heavy metal door open with a loud clang as Sam’s memory… of rushing outside a few months before in a frantic and fruitless search for his brother… overcame his logic…</p><p>… which <em>would</em> have reminded him had he just paused to think for a moment that the Dean who had fled that <em>first</em> time had been at the peak of his fitness, and not nearly full-term pregnant!</p><p>Sam came nearly to a dead stop outside upon the realisation that, just <em>like</em> that night, it had gone dark outside. Shit, he must have really lost track of time: he had been reading through one of Benjamin’s books of legends about the Pawnees and their superstitions, which was actually really <em>interesting</em>. The last time he had seen Dean was when he had gone to have an afternoon nap… that must have finished ages ago, and they should all be having <em>dinner</em> together by now and…</p><p>He was panicking.</p><p>Time seemed to stand still…</p><p>Last time his brother had just disappeared into seemingly thin air and Sam just hadn’t been able to find him… not for months…</p><p>What if he couldn’t find him <em>this</em> time…?</p><p>What if…</p><p>“Hey, what’s up?” His brother’s deep gravelly voice cut through his stupefaction as the call connected. “Sammy? You okay?”</p><p>“<em>Yes!</em> Yes…. Where <em>are</em> you?” The young man felt that his mouth had lost every last molecule of moisture… he could hardly speak…</p><p>“I just got a little antsy, being inside all the time. And I didn’t realise that…”</p><p>“That…?”</p><p>He heard his older brother heave a big deep sigh down the line: “I’m up the path on the ridge above the Bunker. C’mon join me.” There was a click as the call was hung up.</p><p>“Sam? Is he alright? I’m sorry, I just didn’t think…” The angel had followed right behind him out of the Bunker door and was standing just as helplessly as the young man had felt.</p><p>“Not now, Cas!” Sam didn’t pause to say anymore: he was already racing up the road towards the small track that led up the hill above them, hardly aware of the running footsteps that were instantly behind him.</p><p>They sprinted up the path towards the summit… only to slide to a halt on the dirt.</p><p>Sam hadn’t registered the night fully as he had run out of the Bunker. Yes, the evening had drawn into night without the young man noticing, but actually, now the clouds were shifting once more, they were revealing a stunningly beautiful full moon that was lightening the entire area around to be almost as bright as the day.</p><p>It was lighting <em>Dean</em> fully in its glow.</p><p>He was sitting on the brow of the hill, leaning comfortably back on his elbows with his legs stretched in front of him, as relaxed as Sam had seen his brother in years.  Somehow the radiance from the moon seemed to be focusing on him and him alone, and Dean was unconsciously luxuriating in it just as a bikini-clad woman on a beach would worship the sun.</p><p>Sam swept to his knees beside him and flung his arms around the older man, hauling him up into a more seated position. “You okay? I was worried!”</p><p>“Sorry,” Dean grunted. “I just couldn’t settle to anything inside today. Couldn’t even unwind enough to sleep earlier! Just felt… I felt that I had to be outside.</p><p>And then when I <em>came</em> out…  I looked up and there she was…” He indicated the brilliantly shining orb above them.</p><p>Sam adjusted his position to sit beside his brother on the ground: feeling safe enough that moment to put his arm around Dean’s shoulders and hug him tight.</p><p>Castiel joined them to also sit on his friend’s other side and reached to cover Dean’s hand with his own, smiling when the man allowed him without thinking, and indeed squeezed his fingers back a little. “Is she talking to you? Can you hear her?”</p><p>Dean shook his head: “Not in so many words. But she was calling. I know you two don’t believe me. But…”</p><p>“But?” His younger brother prompted.</p><p>Dean bit his lip. “Everything’s going to be okay, Sammy. Don’t ask me how or why I know, but I do. She’s got this whole thing covered…”</p><p>Sam wanted to argue. He wanted to tell Dean how insane he sounded, and how he had been brain-washed somehow by something evil that couldn’t possibly be a fucking <em>Goddess</em>…</p><p>… but he didn’t.</p><p>Because he was sitting with his brother close enough to count as being in his arms, and Dean was nearing the approximate date of giving birth (as far as they and Benjamin had been able to guess), and for once his brother was calm and contented and not full of nerves, <em>and</em> not feeling nauseous which was still a major worry to the younger man, and whatever was causing <em>that</em> to happen… or not to happen as the case might be… was okay.</p><p>Sam would take it.</p><p>His brother actually looked better rested the next day than any since he had found him again. “You sleep well?”</p><p>“Yeah, yes I did.” Dean’s eyes actually sparkled a little as he smiled. “Right through for a change. I didn’t even need to get up to piss!”</p><p>“God, you’ve really always got to spoil things, haven’t you?” Sam scolded in disgust. “You couldn’t just leave that last bit off!”</p><p>“It’s all part of a big brother’s job!” Dean smirked at him. “Gotta upset you daily otherwise you’d get complacent!”</p><p>The younger man tutted, but internally he was laughing along. And he had to admit that the moon had been absolutely stunning the previous evening: Sam couldn’t <em>ever</em> remember seeing it so beautiful… or so <em>large</em>.</p><p>Why did it seem to look so large?</p><p>But it didn’t matter. Because just at that particular moment beneath that unnaturally large moon, Sam had been completely content to sit on the grassy bank with his arm tight around an uncomplaining Dean, with Castiel sitting equally close the other side of his brother with his hand now holding the pregnant man’s tightly and resting on his bump…</p><p>Sam would have been completely content to live in that particular moment for the entire rest of his <em>life</em>…</p><p>He would <em>give</em> his life for Dean. And Castiel would. And for the baby of course…</p><p>Sam and the angel would stand between Dean, his little girl, and the whole fucking <em>universe</em> if they had to.</p><p>They went for a walk outside the Bunker every evening for the few days that the moon was full, and even Sam had to admit that it was having a major effect on his brother.</p><p>And definitely in a good way.</p><p>For the first time since he had been brought back to the Bunker, Dean seemed to have let himself relax. He was actually managing to get some decent sleep and most importantly, his incessant nausea <em>finally</em> seemed to have eased. He was managing to enjoy his food again… although Sam had his brother on the strict nutritional diet that Benjamin had devised... and despite the older man’s grumbles about too much rabbit food and not enough pie, he was starting to look healthier and with more colour in his face than he had for a long time.</p><p>And because Sam (and Castiel, although the angel didn’t really need to!) were eating the same as Dean… well, even the young man had to admit that the elderly native Pawnee’s regime was doing a lot of good. For <em>him</em> as <em>well</em> as his brother.</p><p>Although when he went grocery shopping, Sam did occasionally take time out to sneak away and have a crafty burger. Just the thought of red meat was what seemed to turn Dean’s stomach the <em>most</em>, and the older man had already declared, quite <em>seriously</em> to Sam’s surprise, that he would probably never be able to eat it again…</p><p>Which declaration had probably shaken the younger man more than anything else… possibly even more than his big brother somehow having a <em>baby</em>… that not only had Dean been somehow altered by being abducted to that other dimension<em>...</em></p><p>… but that the change itself was going to prove to be irreversible.</p><p>Even as Sam chomped down on his latest sly bacon cheeseburger, he was seething: no matter how long it took him, he was going to <em>kill</em> that Goddess <em>bitch</em> for doing this to his Dean.</p><p>He wasn’t going to let her get away with it, no matter <em>what</em> he had to do. He was going to find her and <em>end</em> her.</p><p>But he had to do it somehow without upsetting his brother.</p><p>The days passed… and the estimated due date of the birth got closer…</p><p>“What’s going on?” Dean had heard the agitation in Sam’s voice as he approached the kitchen: the younger man was striding around, talking animatedly into his cell. “Is it Jody? Claire?”</p><p>Sam momentarily paused from the call and ran his hand through his long hair: “Charlie.”</p><p>“<em>Charlie?</em> What’s going on? Is she okay?” The older man was instantly as vexed as his brother.</p><p>“You need to sit down! You’re only days away from giving birth!”</p><p>“He’s <em>what?!</em>” The screech down the line was heard even by the angel as he came down the corridor. Dean paled even as he rested his now considerable weight on the chair and stared at the younger man with wide eyes.</p><p>“We’ll talk about that later!” Sam hastily turned his back on his brother and hissed down into the cell. “Not one word, Charlie! I mean it! Just keep telling me about this Sarangay!”</p><p>“What’s a Sarangay?” “But they are not native to America.” Both Dean and Castiel started to speak at once but it was the latter who carried on talking… “They come from the Philippines: they are a bull-like monster. What would one be doing here?”</p><p>“The parents stole its jewel just before they emigrated.” Sam explained. “They thought they’d be safe by running away to another continent but it’s tracked them down. The father’s already been killed: now it’s coming after the rest of the family.”</p><p>“They are in serious trouble.” Castiel stated the obvious in his own uniquely unemotional style: “A Sarangay will never give up until they are all dead.”</p><p>“I know!” Sam’s anxiety was now explained. “And Charlie’s in the middle of it! <em>She</em> can’t handle it on her <em>own</em>…”</p><p>“I’m still <em>here</em>, bitch.” The redhead’s loud voice down the phone gave away her lack of amusement at that comment. “And what the hell’s going on with Dean? Did I <em>hear</em> that right: did you just say he’s going to give <em>birth…?</em>”</p><p>“Not. <em>Now!</em>” Sam shouted as Dean’s complexion impossibly went whiter and his green eyes filled with tears. “Charlie, I mean it! Look, I’ll get another Hunter to come and help you: it’ll need at least two…”</p><p>“It’ll take more than two.” Castiel informed him. “A Sarangay is an extremely formidable beast. She will need my assistance.”</p><p>“Great! Cas? Will you be able to go and help her?” Sam felt a wave of relief although he was still worried about their friend and the incredibly dangerous monster that she would be facing: in any other circumstance he would have been <em>itching </em>to go himself. “Charlie, text me where you are and <em>wait</em> there. Cas is on his way. Don’t you <em>dare</em> try and deal with it on your own…”</p><p>“<em>You</em> go as well, Sammy.” Dean understood his brother completely. “She’ll need your expertise…”</p><p>“I’m staying with you!” The younger man’s reaction was immediate. “No <em>way</em> am I leaving you alone this close…”</p><p>“Sammy.” Dean’s tone left no room for argument. At <em>all.</em> “It’s Charlie. She needs your help. Now git going: you’re wasting time…</p><p>I’ll be <em>fine</em>.” As Sam opened his mouth to try and disagree anyway. “<em>Really</em>. Now <em>go.</em>”</p><p>“You sure…?” The younger man was torn... he loved the red-headed girl like the sister he had never had… but… he would burn himself and the whole <em>world</em> to hell if <em>anything</em> happened to his brother… “What if you go into labour? Shut <em>up</em>, Charlie! No: you need me here…”</p><p>“Sammy.” Dean reached with his arms to take a tight hold on the younger man’s shoulders: they looked into each other’s eyes momentarily… “It’s <em>Charlie</em>. You need to <em>help</em> her…</p><p>… Now <em>go!</em>”</p><p>Sam stared down at the older man’s sternly set jaw and saw, (with a tremendous relief that he didn’t want to admit to), that there would be no further discussion. Finally he nodded: “Okay. But you’re to check in with me every hour, I <em>mean</em> it! If you miss just <em>one</em> I’m straight back! Charlie, text me the address: Cas and I are on our way…</p><p>…. Let’s get this over with as fast as we can.”</p><p>“I could fly you, Sam.” Castiel offered.</p><p>But the young man shook his head “We’re gonna need a ton of stuff from the Impala… and if you wouldn’t mind driving, I’ve got a few books in mind to bring and start looking through on the way. I don’t want to have to waste a single minute once we’re there…</p><p>… And <em>you!</em>” This was addressed to Dean. “I mean it! The slightest twinge… <em>any</em> little thing and I’m right back here!”</p><p>“Okay, bitch.”</p><p>“Shut up, jerk!” And Sam was hurrying to fetch the books he wanted… “And don’t you <em>dare</em> try and paint that room on your own!”</p><p>Dean watched the Bunker door shut behind them… and gave a massive sigh of relief. He loved his brother and his angel… he <em>really</em> loved them both… but they were getting just so… <em>suffocating</em>.</p><p>He walked… waddled, shit: he was <em>definitely</em> waddling… back to the kitchen and ran himself a glass of water. God, he missed whisky...</p><p>But he had to admit he was grateful that Sam had insisted on joining him in abstinence and instead had poured every single bottle of it away… which was a really, really thoughtful thing to do that Dean had appreciated very much, especially as even the <em>thought</em> of the smell of strong liquor had been making him want to vomit earlier in the pregnancy…</p><p>In fact, his brother had been amazing about everything. <em>And</em> Castiel had.</p><p>But now… if Dean dropped anything on the floor, it had been picked up for him before he could even get his body low enough to get <em>close</em> to try and get it himself, which was great of them but he wasn’t <em>incapable</em>…</p><p>And if he rubbed at his back… which always seemed to be aching lately… then both of the others would be immediately fussing around him, wanting him to sit down and rest, or offering to call Benjamin…</p><p>And once he <em>was</em> sat down, then one or the other of them would offer to rub his feet and ankles… which <em>did</em> seem to be permanently swollen lately… or fetch him what he needed so he didn’t have to try and get <em>up</em> again which Dean had to admit was becoming a major struggle for him lately, but that wasn’t the <em>point</em>…</p><p>It was demeaning.</p><p>It was <em>embarrassing</em>.</p><p>And Dean just kept feeling like bursting into tears because of how <em>good</em> it all felt, and how he wasn’t alone like he thought he was going to be and how no matter what had happened, Sam and Castiel had just accepted him and what he was now and what was going to happen imminently, and they both wanted to be really involved, and neither of them had touched him at <em>all</em> inappropriately although they both always instinctively seemed to know when he needed a hug and he <em>always</em> seemed to be needing a hug lately and…</p><p>Dean drank his water and wiped his eyes… Shit, he really missed them both <em>already</em>.</p><p>And he was worried about Charlie: he had no idea what the fuck a Sarangay was but it sounded <em>nasty</em>. He wished he could have gone himself to help her… although she would really have been <em>freaked</em> to see him looking so fat…</p><p>… Would she ever want to see him again?</p><p>What if she thought <em>he </em>was the freak?</p><p>What if she wanted to hunt him down like the monster he was…?</p><p>Dean wiped away his <em>next</em> lot of tears and shook his head at himself. He was being ridiculous: his Sammy wouldn’t let <em>anyone</em> hurt him. Not even Charlie<em>.</em></p><p>With a sigh he refilled his glass of water and headed for the bedroom he had picked out for his daughter: he had some <em>painting</em> to finish!</p><p>Dean was just rinsing out the brushes when he heard the main Bunker door clang shut. Instantly he was on alert: “Sammy? Are you done already? <em>Sam?</em></p><p>Carefully he crept back to the main area, gun (that his brother would have had a <em>fit</em> about had he realised that Dean still carried it everywhere) in hand. Slowly he rounded (while wincing at his own pun) the corner…</p><p>“Hey Dean!” Claire had already reached the base of the stairs and was coming to greet him with a large embrace. “Sorry it took me so long to get here. I was a bit… busy with a vamp when Sam left the message asking if I wouldn’t mind checking in on you…”</p><p>“I… He… Of <em>course</em> he did!” Dean couldn’t help but tear up yet again, but this time from the knowledge that he would always be his brother’s first thought no matter what.</p><p>“Hey!” And the blonde’s arms were tight around him. “Aw, Sam <em>said</em> you were struggling a little now the end’s nearly in sight. But you’re looking good….”</p><p>“I’m so fat!” the man wailed.</p><p>“You’re beautiful.” She whispered into his ear. “This is all so new: you’ve got no one to ask for advice as you’re the very, very <em>first</em> but you’ve done so well. It’s going to be okay…</p><p>You and that little girl are going to be just <em>perfect</em>.”</p><p>That did it. Claire made sure to keep her arm tight around Dean as he snottily snuffled his way back to the kitchen and helped him to carefully sit down before setting the water to boil for some ginger tea.</p><p>“Feeling better?” She asked as they both sipped a soothing mug full of the steaming drink.</p><p>“Sorry for being such a wuss.”</p><p>“You’re forgiven… daddy!” And she grinned at him. “Now. What the <em>hell </em>were you doing with those brushes? Sam is going to <em>kill</em> me!”</p><p>The next day or so seemed to fly by: if Dean wasn’t laughing with the beautiful young blonde then they were having deep conversations about life, babies, cooking and all the different colours of paint that they were using.</p><p>Sam was relieved to hear how happy his brother was sounding every time he called, but the Sarangay had proved far more formidable and taken longer than he had hoped it would to take down, and he had to admit… every single bit of him fucking <em>ached</em>. Perhaps he should admit that he was getting older and retire with his brother…</p><p>Although, even <em>Castiel</em> said he now hurt all over.</p><p>But at least Dean was okay. Sam determined to himself that he was going to buy Claire something really nice for taking care of his brother when he got back… like a new revolver or a machete…</p><p>“So if it’s okay, I’ll be home tomorrow. I could start driving now but… I’ll be honest, Dean, I’m absolutely shattered. I just want to get my head down for a few hours then I’ll head straight back, I promise…”</p><p>“That’s fine… <em>I’m</em> fine. Do what you gotta to be safe, Sammy. I’ll see you when you get here…”</p><p>“If you need me sooner, just call. Anything at all. I’ll <em>be</em> there, Dean.”</p><p>“As long as you’re all safe…. Erm…. What did you tell Charlie about me, Sammy?”</p><p>Sam bit his lip: “I told her the truth, Dean. And believe me, she wanted to forget all about the Sarangay and just come and see you. I won’t be surprised if she tries to follow me back to the Bunker tomorrow…”</p><p>“She really okay…?”</p><p>Sam smiled down the phone at the uncertainty in his brother’s voice: “You kidding? She’s gone out and bought a baby-Batman romper suit! <em>Shit</em>: I wasn’t supposed to <em>tell</em> you that! Act surprised when she gives it to you! But it is really, <em>really</em> cute…</p><p>See you tomorrow, big brother.” Sam disconnected the call.</p><p>“Dean?” Claire had been talking anxiously on her own cell at the same time. “That was my friend. Things are moving around her apartment on their own: she’s pretty freaked out about it. How soon will Sam be back?”</p><p>“You get on.” The response was instant. “They’ll be on their way soon. I’ll be fine.”</p><p>“You sure?”</p><p>“<em>I</em> can manage one night on my own!” Then Dean was reconsidering his indignation. “Sorry. You’ve been great! I really… thanks for being here, Claire. I <em>mean</em> it. But if your friend needs you, then you have to go and help her.</p><p>Sam and Cas will be back sometime tomorrow anyway…”</p><p>“Okay, baby mama: just as long as you’ll be okay. I’ll go and get my stuff. Oh, and Dean?” as the blonde started to turn away. “That lucky little girl is going to just <em>love</em> her room!”</p><p>Dean swore as he awoke ridiculously early the next morning: that ‘lucky little girl’ was playing yet another fucking  tune on his fucking bladder! Boy, he couldn’t wait for this to finally be over…</p><p>… and yet… he had to admit to himself that he was absolutely <em>terrified</em> as to the next bit!</p><p>With a sigh, he went to make himself some herbal tea.</p><p>By eight o’clock he was wandering aimlessly around the corridors of the Bunker. He just couldn’t settle for some reason: it was an effort to sit down and even more of an effort to get up again, and trying to go back to bed meant lying down which just put the baby on his blimp of a belly and made him want to urinate yet <em>again</em>…</p><p>… so he was just roaming… waddling… around the long halls on his own at stupid o’clock in the morning. It already felt like he had walked miles…</p><p>Everything was ready.</p><p>All that he was waiting for now was… Dean gulped… for him to actually have the <em>baby!</em></p><p>He was just heading back to the nearest bathroom yet <em>again</em> when he became aware of another new ache in his body… in his back to be precise. An ache which turned into a pain that rapidly transmogrified into absolute fucking <em>agony</em>.</p><p>It felt that someone had not only stuck a knife into him but was twisting it in the wound. The memory of Mr Manolli and that fucking kitchen knife shot to the forefront of Dean’s brain even as he was grasping at the nearest wall for support…</p><p>… And then, just as suddenly the pain was gone.</p><p>“What the fuck was that?” Dean caught his breath.</p><p>And then he shrugged. Just another joy of being pregnant: really, the thrills just kept <em>coming</em>…</p><p>He had just walked… waddled… to the bathroom when the pain suddenly hit in the same place again.</p><p>And then stopped.</p><p>It took Dean the third time of suddenly having to grip hold of the basin tightly and brace himself against the rising pain to realise…</p><p>Shit! He had gone into <em>labour</em>.</p><p>And he was completely on his own in the Bunker for at least the next few hours.</p><p>Sam. He had to call Sammy!</p><p>Dean waited for the contraction to pass, tried to steady his rising pani… <em>breathing, </em>steady his breathing… and felt in his pocket for his cell phone.</p><p>Only to realise that it wasn’t there.</p><p>Where had he…? Fuck, he had left it on his bedside table. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!</p><p>He had to get back to his room to get it.</p><p>But even as he turned to try, the next contraction struck. Shit: weren’t they meant to start off slow and gradually increase? These fuckers were hitting just about one after the other! Dean held on to the basin and fought to catch his breath.</p><p>He had to get hold of Benjamin!</p><p>Even as the pain eased he felt the next one already starting. And every time… the pain grew more and more…</p><p>It grew so bad that Dean all but felt his knees buckle beneath him. His vision blurred and all he could do was try and gasp his way through until he could finally focus again, only to find himself  completely on the floor and as curled into as much of a ball as a pregnant man could get!</p><p>And the pressure was already building in his abdomen again…</p><p>Tears of frustration as well as pain filled Dean’s eyes: he had known that he probably <em>wasn’t</em> fully prepared for the actual birth, not that there was any other man in this dimension who had ever been through it that he could actually <em>ask</em>, but this was <em>way</em> beyond anything he could have imagined. He knew he had to get back to his bedroom but all he could think about was the next contraction to come…</p><p>With one determined effort, he blindly reached up to the basin again, desperate to try and get back to his feet… or at least to his hands and knees…</p><p>It was with genuine relief that he felt warm fur tickle between his outstretched fingers and heard the deep purr of the nahurac: “Hey, baby. <em>God</em>, am I glad to see you! And as beautiful as ever! Oh shit, here comes another!”</p><p>The spirit animal stood firm and uncomplaining as Dean’s hands tightened into twisted fur-filled fists with the pain…. well, apart from a slight snarl and a flash of the glinting green eyes… “Sorry, baby. Oh fuck, that hurts so <em>much!</em> Can you get Sammy for me?”</p><p>The big animal stared at him with the distasteful expression that most cats seem to reserve especially for humans…</p><p>“Well, can you at least help me to my room so I can get my cell?” Dean shook his head at himself: “I’m talking to a fucking inter-dimensional , probably not even <em>real</em>, cat! Worse: I’m actually expecting it to <em>answer!</em> I’ve totally lost it! Oh shit…”</p><p>He doubled up again as the next contraction hit. And this time… “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my <em>god!</em> I think my water’s have broken! I need Sammy! I need Benjamin!”</p><p>Dean paused despite the pain.</p><p>“I need <em>Samuel</em>. Please…</p><p><em>Please</em> can you get me Samuel?”</p><p>The nahurac blinked at him disdainfully.</p><p>“Oh <em>come</em> on! I get more emotion from my <em>other</em> Baby! And she purrs better than you as well!”</p><p>The green eyes sparkled momentarily pale blue but Dean didn’t notice: he was busy trying to think (and catch his breath) before the next lot of pain hit. “Okay. First of all, I need to get to my room to get my cell. But I also need to get to Sammy’s room to get those new soft towels that he bought ready…”</p><p>He struggled to try and get to his feet, gasping a little even as he used the nahurac as a support. Then...</p><p>“Ew… Fuck it: first of all I need some clean <em>pants!</em> These are clinging to me! What <em>is</em> this stuff? It feels like it’s still pouring out of me!”</p><p>“It’s omega slick.”</p><p>Dean started and struggled to try and turn at the sound of someone else in the supposedly empty Bunker…  then all but burst into tears at the sight of the elderly Benjamin standing behind him... and unbelievably still wearing his fluffy moccasin slippers.“Oh man, am I glad to see <em>you!</em> But how…?”</p><p>“Our Lady sent your nahurac to me last night.” The grey-haired man smiled. “I knew it meant you must be getting close: I just grabbed my bag and drove. I even forgot my boots!”</p><p>He paused as Dean doubled over once more in pain, and moved to rub the pregnant man’s back until the contraction had passed. “I was going to suggest we got you to your room, but you’re making such a puddle of slick that I don’t think you’re going to make it…”</p><p>“I’m what? Oh shit!” And he was bracing himself against the basin again.</p><p> Benjamin busied himself with his bag: “You’re slicking! I wondered… I know we have no experience with what you <em>are</em>, but you also told me that omegas were created for <em>breeding! </em>You were saying that, without suppressants, they naturally have extremely large families. So it makes sense that… just as you said you had naturally produced this substance that… well…. makes things easier during the <em>act</em> of sex, that it also helps with the act of <em>birthing</em>…”</p><p>“You’re saying…” Dean gasped as he managed to catch his breath momentarily: “… you’re saying that this… icky stuff… is <em>me?!”</em></p><p>“Natural lubricant, yes.” Benjamin was pulling some things out from his bag as he explained.  “Literally works both ways! I doubt we’re going to need <em>these</em>,” as he took out some forceps, “but I’ll get the cord clamp ready. <em>And</em> my stethoscope and thermometer… we’ll need to get your lower half undressed… “</p><p>“We’ll <em>what?</em>” Dean had now been forced back down on his knees on the floor, but at least the old man’s words had just taken his mind <em>completely</em> off the pain: “Oh no, it’s <em>fine</em>. I can manage…”</p><p>Benjamin laughed despite himself: “All the stories I’ve heard over the years about this big bad Hunter and he turns out to be a right weakling.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>The other man grinned down at him: “You’re not the first Hunter I’ve ever met. And he was so <em>very, very</em> proud of you… you <em>idgit.</em>”</p><p>Dean snuffled.</p><p>“Now get those pants off and get yourself sorted out while I go and find some clean towels. I’ll put those ones on the rack there under you for the moment…”</p><p>“Sammy’s room. Down the hall: third on the right.”</p><p>Benjamin nodded. “Back in a mo.”</p><p>There was a momentary pause after the older man left the room: the minutest respite from pain, discomfort and… that slimy-feeling if sweet-smelling stuff that had now soaked completely through Dean’s sweatpants and undershorts…</p><p>But he could already feel the pressure in his abdomen building again…</p><p>Quickly he shoved the offending item of clothes down… or would have had they not been sticking to him… but Dean did at least manage to pull them both out of the way enough before the next lot of pain hit. Once more it took his breath away and it was all he could do to stay on his hands and knees without collapsing completely: “Oh shit, shit, shit!”</p><p>The beautiful big cat was there again suddenly, butting against his head and right shoulder with its own, just like its smaller domesticated relatives do to legs when they want attention. Without even thinking the man reached out, wanting to feel the support that was being offered beneath its layer of warm fur…</p><p>As the contraction eased only a little before immediately reforming into the worst one <em>yet</em>, Dean felt like crying; felt like screaming; felt that he was so alone  and yet definitely did not want <em>anyone</em> coming back into that room to see him like this, so needy and exposed and <em>desperate</em> all at the same time…</p><p>The only way to stop himself from yelling and begging and howling was to throw his arms fully around the nahurac and just bury his head into the softness of its coat: his fists tightening with the effort of <em>not</em> giving into the natural urge to weep uncontrollably at the agony and the stretching in his insides and the sheer uncomfortableness of the feeling and the just fucking <em>humiliation</em> of being on the bathroom floor like <em>this</em>, feeling so emotional and vulnerable…</p><p>He was not going to cry. <em>Women</em> did this every day. He could do this… once.</p><p><em>Definitely</em> he was only ever going to do this the once.</p><p>The cat pressed its head against his… and purred: the sensation going all through Dean’s body. And suddenly he felt the urge to… use the toilet. But he couldn’t move.</p><p>He was in pain, and he felt that he had lost the use of every single one of his limbs and he now needed to go to the fucking <em>toilet</em>…?</p><p>And he couldn’t stop himself from pushing down <em>there</em>…</p><p>“Hell! Even quicker than I expected!” And Benjamin was back in the room with him and also kneeling down behind where Dean was trapped in his own private hell of mental paralysis on the floor and reaching for… “The head’s already out! Just one more push’ll do it, boy. Don’t worry: I’ve got her!”</p><p>“What…?” But his body was already responding to the instruction, and suddenly, with an icky squicky squishing noise, he felt the pain in his abdomen release, followed almost immediately by the sound of…</p><p>… the desperate wail of a newly-born infant.</p><p>“How…?” Dean felt exhausted: he felt that he had run a marathon. He felt that he had gone twelve rounds with a <em>minotaur</em>. But none of that mattered. “I… she… is she…?”</p><p>“She’s absolutely beautiful.” Benjamin smiled. He was already cleaning the baby girl up ready to wrap in one of the brand new soft clean baby blankets that he had found with the towels. “Try and turn yourself around, and I’ll hand her to you. You did good, Dean. She’s absolutely <em>beautiful!</em>”</p><p>Still three hours or so drive away, Sam and Castiel were speeding in the Impala on their way back to the Bunker.</p><p>“Try not to fret, Sam.” The angel was saying: “I am sure he will call should he need us.”</p><p>“That’s not the point,” the young man was berating himself. “I should have just come back last night. When I woke this morning and saw Claire’s text about her having to leave to help her friend…</p><p>I should have come home last night even if I slept all day today… What if he’s not alright? What if something’s happened while he’s on his own…?</p><p>What if that <em>bitch</em> has taken him again while no one was there with him…? I…!”</p><p>His words broke off abruptly as suddenly his whole vision was filled with a flash of bright light blue. Sam braked instinctively and the Impala screeched to a burning-rubber-stink halt in the middle of the road…</p><p>No.</p><p><em>Not</em> in the middle of the road.</p><p>As Sam and the angel’s somewhat now black-spotted vision cleared, they could both see that…</p><p>They weren’t in Missouri anymore.</p><p>They were actually just sitting in the stationery Impala… which somehow was now right outside the Bunker!</p><p>“Is that what it feels like when I fly you somewhere?” Castiel asked with interest. “Dean always tells me that his stomach gets very unsettled when I do, and mine definitely is <em>now</em>…”</p><p>Sam’s was as well. But that didn’t matter as his brain finally caught up with his body… “Oh my god… Dean! <em>Dean!”</em></p><p>And he was out of the car and running into the Bunker, almost slipping down the metal stairs in his panic: “Dean! Dean! Are you okay? Where are you?”</p><p>“Here,” came a voice that Sam momentarily couldn’t place… but then as he followed it into one of the bathrooms and recognised the elderly native Pawnee, and saw his brother sitting on the floor leaning against the bathtub, looking pale and exhausted but happy, wearing sloppy stained sweatpants and a large old towel over his lap, surrounded by… Sam was quite happy not to think about what that slippery stuff was all over the floor although it smelt really, really sweet… and holding a soft new baby-blanket-wrapped bundle of something that was wriggling and kicking and… staring up at his brother with <em>huge</em> beautiful green eyes… her tiny nostrils already twitching as she drank in the scent of her daddy…</p><p>“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my <em>god!</em>” Sam was across the room and on his knees beside his brother in the next instant. “You had her! Are you okay? I… Oh my god: she’s <em>beautiful!</em></p><p>I should have been here…”</p><p>“S’okay, Sammy.” Dean chuckled, winced and cried a little all at the same time. “I’m <em>glad</em> you didn’t have to see me like… well… I’m just glad, is all.</p><p>She had it covered anyway.”</p><p>“<em>She?</em>” Sam was instantly on edge. And furious with himself: he should have been here with his brother when Dean needed him… he had let the older man down yet <em>again</em>…</p><p>“She.” And Dean patted something that was resting calmly against his leg: something that Sam couldn’t see but, the way that his brother’s hand stalled nearly 12 inches above his thigh and his spread fingers seemed to sink into something soft or covered with thick fur…</p><p>… and whatever it was… it <em>purred</em> at his brother’s touch…</p><p>“The nahurac.” Castiel had followed him in and now leant over Sam’s shoulder to inform him in a loud aside before acclaiming with genuine excitement: “Your child is… incredible, Dean. She has your eyes… and your lips… and your angels’ kisses…”</p><p>“They’re called freckles, Cas.”</p><p>“And <em>this</em> angel will be her guardian for the rest of his life: I <em>promise</em> you…”</p><p>“Thanks, man.” And Dean tried not to cry again, as the three of them simply sat on the bathroom floor together and stared at the beautiful brand new little girl…</p><p>“Have you got a name yet, Dean?” Benjamin had finished cleaning and packing his equipment away.</p><p>Dean chewed at his lip: “Well,” he finally said. “As she’s… we’re… the first of … well, what we are… I thought about Eve… but obviously, that’s got bad connotations… given… well… what happened…</p><p>But then I thought… Evie. And Marie for mom… I mean, the <em>other</em> Dean already took <em>Mary</em>…</p><p>What’cha think?”</p><p>“Evie-Marie?” Sam was thrilled to have been included in the decision: “I <em>love</em> it! Evie-Marie Winchester. And I’m sure mom would have been proud…”</p><p>Dean blinked: “Well, actually I was thinking of Marie as her middle name but… yeah… yeah, I like the hyphen…”</p><p>“Hey, Evie-Marie,” Sam had never felt himself to be so <em>large</em> as when he tried to delicately touch the tiny newborn’s cheek with his oversize fingers… “Can I hold her…?”</p><p>“Sure…”</p><p>Benjamin helped the brothers: both being equally as terrified of dropping Evie-Marie as the other. But eventually Sam was sitting with her in his arms… or rather hands… and he was staring down at the baby he was cradling with so much emotion and awe in his face that Dean felt his heart overflow with love for them both…</p><p>And oh <em>god</em>, he was so tired and he felt so… <em>yucky</em>. He so desperately wanted a shower or even better, a long soothing bath.</p><p>And more importantly: Sammy had promised he would cook him some <em>bacon!</em></p><p>The next couple of days went by in a rush: Sam had never seen so many people in the Bunker. It seemed like Benjamin’s entire tribe had come down to greet Evie-Marie and it seemed that the entire building was filled up with their gifts as well as their laughter and excitement, not to mention Jody who had turned up at an unearthly hour the very next morning after the baby was born, desperate to meet her and congratulate Dean…</p><p>Even so, all three men… well: <em>one</em> man, one recently pregnant newly turned were-being and one angel… breathed a sigh of relief when they had all finally left again and they had the Bunker to themselves again… plus the baby of course.</p><p>And now she… and her daddy… were both sound asleep in Dean’s bedroom. Sam had to admit that Evie-Marie had a powerful pair of lungs, although she always instantly calmed down when his brother picked her up: her little nostrils working away and her big green eyes tracking her daddy wherever he went in the room even though she was still only a few days old…</p><p>He was standing in <em>her</em> room: the one that Dean had originally wanted his little girl to have when she got old enough to sleep on her own. Sam had heard Castiel and Benjamin moving things around before the elderly man had returned home and had found them carefully arranging Evie-Marie’s  nursery furniture in there.</p><p>Sam had never worked out why his brother had just wanted it to all be in a simple plain wooden style: he himself would have gone for a pastel-pink, or covered in unicorns and rainbows, but no… Dean had just wanted a simple oak wardrobe, dresser and cot… and a rocking chair big enough for an adult man to be able to safely sit in with his growing daughter…</p><p><em>Now</em> the young man understood.</p><p>Because it had turned out that Dean had been painting the room <em>himself </em>during the nights with the assistance of Castiel, (which also explained his marked increased exhaustion during the days), and Sam was now just standing in the centre of the room and marvelling…</p><p>… at the forest that had been painted all around the walls.</p><p>The ‘boring’ browns and greens had been merged together perfectly to become beautifully painted and realistic trees and leaves, some covered with spring blossom: some with soft fresh buds about to burst, all with grasses and flowering plants of all different colours in between them… and his brother, whom Sam had never <em>realised</em> had so much talent, had painted red squirrels and chipmunks chasing each other around the branches, and there were brightly coloured small birds flying about from tree to tree, and rabbits and voles and beavers and even a cuddly-looking skunk hurrying between the trunks… and a beautiful stag silhouetted in a perfectly placed patch of ‘light’ that seemed to filter down through into a glade beyond…</p><p>And when Sam looked closer, he suddenly realised that there were little people in the mural. There were tiny elf-like beings down beside a beautifully painted copse of trees: the trunks of each of which, as Sam looked closer, had little front doors in. There were rings of vivid scarlet and white spotted toadstools being danced around by parties of glowing little winged men and women.</p><p>There were definite fairies wearing flowers for clothes flying amongst and around the blossoms, and a bunch of taller and stouter beings in the background who might have been gnomes or… Sam didn’t know what they were but the whole room was just <em>incredible</em>.</p><p>A noise from behind him made Sam turn. Dean stood there, with Evie-Marie in his arms: even with being so young she was already seeming to study each and every inch of the wall and take it all in…</p><p>Sam couldn’t resist going to take her from his still tired looking brother: “Dean, I never realised how much imagination you have! Especially the fairies! I don’t even understand what made you think of them, but they look so realistic. If I didn’t know better… and if I didn’t know that they don’t actually <em>exist</em>… I’d say it’s almost as if you could see them!”</p><p>Dean opened his mouth… thought about what he had been about to say… and shut it again.</p><p>“Have you tried feeding her again yet?”</p><p>It was a serious question and had become a slight issue between them… although the young man couldn’t help from grinning as his brother’s face automatically flushed bright red.</p><p>Sam had secretly been incredulous as to how well Dean had been dealing with his change and being pregnant… but the moment his nipples had started to leak milk after the arrival of his baby had been the final quirk that nearly completely broke the older man…</p><p>The <em>only</em> thing that had stopped him from having a full meltdown had been that his breast size hadn’t grown in the same way that a human woman’s would have. In fact Dean had lost just about all of his remaining pregnancy weight in only a couple of days and seemingly more besides…</p><p>He looked <em>good</em>.</p><p>In fact, he looked <em>amazing</em>.</p><p>He <em>certainly</em> didn’t look like he had just had a baby…</p><p>… with the exception of having leaky nipples every time his daughter cried.</p><p>“She’s fine on formula,” Dean mumbled eventually.</p><p>“It would be better for her if you tried. Experts say that the natural benefits are tremendous: you’ll pass on antibodies and reduce her risk of having allergies…” Sam had read <em>all</em> the books… <em>twice</em>.</p><p>His brother sighed: “Son of a bi…”</p><p>“Dean! Language!”</p><p>Evie-Marie broke the rising tension in the room by beginning to fuss in her uncle’s arms… almost as if she knew that he got as anxious about holding her when she was crying, as her daddy did when he was trying to feed her…</p><p>… probably even <em>more</em> so…</p><p>Dean sighed at his now two-patches-of-damp shirt, but then couldn’t resist from smirking at the younger man… who was now looking more and more panicked with every passing second as Evie-Marie’s cries turned to full on desperate wails that seemingly meant: ‘I’m starving to <em>death </em>here!’</p><p>He grinned as he took her back: “C’mon here baby! What’s all this ruckus about?”</p><p>Sam sighed as the baby’s tears ceased almost immediately once back in his brother’s arms: even at only a few days old, Evie-Marie was obviously already a complete <em>daddy’s</em> girl.</p><p>But… he supposed… Dean was <em>also</em> completely smitten, and definitely already wrapped around the little girl’s finger. <em>If</em> the amazing scent that had filled the Bunker ever since she had been born was anything to go by…</p><p>It had taken Sam a couple of days to realise that the aroma was emanating from his brother and it meant… he was <em>sure</em> it meant… that Dean, at the moment at least, was an incredibly happy omega.</p><p>Which made Sam an incredibly happy and content man.</p><p>Even if he couldn’t be anything more than a brother to Dean and a uncle to Evie-Marie, at least he could enjoy being the baby’s close family for as long as this Goddess bitch allowed him to.</p><p>And… what the hell, he might as well admit it… <em>he</em> was already totally wrapped around the little girl’s finger as well!</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Sam had suspected, Evie-Marie hit her developmental milestones unnaturally early.</p><p>At just ten weeks old, she could roll from her front to her back… and then return to her front. Dean switched to always putting the changing mat on the floor after the second time his daughter nearly rolled straight off his bed.</p><p>By four months old she was crawling around the Bunker, which meant that the brothers and the Angel spent a frantic day installing baby safety gates…</p><p>… and by four months and seemingly one day old, Evie-Marie was determinedly pulling herself up against them to a very wobbly standing position…</p><p>… and by five months she was climbing <em>over </em>the gates and escaping into the vast expanse of the Bunker, using all four limbs with all the artless skills yet nine-lived confidence of an escaping kitten.</p><p>In fact she was climbing<em> everywhere.</em></p><p>Up onto chairs. Up any stairs she could manage to get to. <em>Down</em> any stairs she could manage to get to, turning herself around to somehow slide down feet-first on her front in her determination to explore.</p><p>She climbed up the book shelves.</p><p>And within a couple more weeks she caused the younger Winchester brother to feel that he had lost at least ten years of his life when he heard Dean running around the corridors in the background shouting “she’s out the crib: where’s the hell she gone now?” at exactly the same time as he walked into the main area of the Bunker and saw his infant niece, who had somehow not only got up the steel staircase to the main entrance but was now seemingly intent on climbing right <em>over</em> the railings at the end of the balcony without any comprehension of the dangerous fall beyond whatsoever.</p><p>“Evie! <em>No!</em>”</p><p>Wrong move. The baby startled at Sam’s panicked scream, burst into tears… and lost her grip. The man raced forward in a desperate bid to catch the falling infant… but was stunned into an abrupt halt by a sudden blur of movement on his left side.</p><p>A blur of blue-demined and plaid over-shirt that somehow was there instantly, leaping several feet into the air to catch Evie-Marie in two gentle but safe hands.</p><p>Sam stared: for an instant he had thought it must be Castiel running past him with his angelic strength… but it had actually been his brother…</p><p>It had been <em>Dean</em> who had ran for his daughter with such sudden inhuman ability…</p><p>Memories of the other Dean came to the forefront of his mind: of his brother’s lookalike easily leaping up on a platform that was higher than Sam himself stood, and then literally bounding up the side of a tumbling-down building…</p><p>Even as he himself reached the smaller man who was now hugging his headstrong infant with an emotional combination of desperate despair at her actions and sheer relief that she was unharmed, Sam couldn’t help but wonder what <em>other </em>attributes that the other Dean had had were now shared and would at some point be revealed…</p><p>… and sigh at yet more proof that his older brother was no longer completely human.</p><p>“She okay?”</p><p>“She’s good.” The blunt sternness in his brother’s voice sent a thrill of memory down the younger man’s spine. John Winchester may have been terrifyingly scary when he was angry (often unfairly, and usually to do with how little training the brothers, and most particularly his little soldier, had been doing in comparison with their ‘unimportant and useless’ schoolwork), but he had <em>never</em> been able to cause such anxiety or tears of pleading for forgiveness from a younger Sam as when he caused <em>Dean</em> to be cross enough at him to use <em>that</em> tone…</p><p>… and the older Winchester seemed to be having the same effect on his daughter. Evie-Marie looked up from the security of the man’s arms with genuine concern as he glowered down at her and stopped crying within the same instant, instead laying her head against the top of her daddy’s chest and holding on tightly to him in a tiny parody of a hug.</p><p>“No more.” Dean told her. “Period.”</p><p>And to Sam’s disbelief, although his niece managed to find numerous other ways to all but turn every hair on his head grey just about every few days, she <em>never</em> attempted to climb those particular stairs on her own again.</p><p>Never.</p><p>Although he was right - despite Dean’s efforts not to show that he was different now, he was… he really <em>was!</em></p><p>For example there was the time that a large dog barked and bounded towards Evie-Marie as she happily played on a rug in the park and Dean honest-to-god snarled at it. Really hissed, bared his teeth and <em>snarled</em> at it. So much so that the previously canines-showing animal instantly whimpered in terror and flumped down to present its belly in supplication, much to its apologetic owner’s surprise…</p><p>… and to Sam’s, who sighed as he discretely slipped his gun back into the rear of the waistband of his denims and tried to calm his heart from pounding so loudly in his chest: “<em>You</em> okay?”</p><p>Dean nodded absently as he watched his daughter giggle in excitement and reach to try and snatch at all the temptingly presented soft fur: “Eee-vie…” The warning was there: don’t poke the bear, or in this case, the now non-threatening dog. And it was heeded: the child laughed at the antics of the panting animal with the lolling tongue, but refrained from actually touching.</p><p><em>Then</em> there was the little girl in the house at the edge of Lebanon…</p><p>From almost the moment his niece had been born, Sam had been trying to encourage his brother to join the local parent-toddler group, feeling that it was important both for Dean and Evie-Marie to have not only some ‘normal’ life experiences but also, perhaps, they might even make some friends.</p><p>The brothers and angel had agreed that the best cover story would be the one that they could also keep most simple: Dean’s ‘girlfriend’ had tragically died in child birth, leaving him literally overnight with a broken heart and a newborn daughter. He had moved to Lebanon to live with his brother both for a new start and so that Sam could help him with the baby and provide emotional support. And Castiel, his best friend in the whole wide world, had come as well to help in any way he could.</p><p>Dean had surprisingly agreed about attending the group… to the younger man’s immediate suspicion that his sex-machine of a brother might be simply seeing it as a challenge to try and bed some of the single mothers there, especially since the ‘recent sad events’ had supplied him with the perfect sympathy card to play… but actually the older man seemed to be genuinely determined to do his very best for his little girl, and if that meant pretending to be ’normal’ and arranging play-dates, then that’s what he was damned well going to do.</p><p>(It also helped that he could ask the other parents for advice over things that he could barely remember from when he raised his own little brother, such as how to deal with the joys of teething and when was the best time to try and start weaning…)</p><p>Sam had managed to find a part-time job in a small accounting firm. It was as much office-boy to start with as anything else, but the owner had promised him that he would help the young man get his Book-Keeping Certification if he proved reliable.</p><p>He had also managed to arrange his hours so that he would be able to accompany Dean to the parent-toddler group mornings and soon found himself the object of much embarrassing and unwarranted attention as his brother thought it hilarious to point his unattached status out to all the afore-mentioned single… and not so single… mothers!</p><p>They were returning from their tenth time of attending the sessions when Dean suddenly pulled the Impala sharply to the kerb, startling a happily exhausted Evie awake from a nap in her baby seat in the rear of the vehicle, to sit staring at a large old house in some major need of repair sited on the outskirts of Lebanon.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Sam was instantly on alert.</p><p>“The windows…” Dean breathed. “They’re glowing blue.”</p><p>“They’re what?” Sam could see nothing, but after what had happened when he lost his brother last time he never intended to doubt him again. “Wait! What are you doing?”</p><p>“Going to see.” Dean was already out of the driver’s seat and reaching to fetch his daughter out of her chair. “You comin’?”</p><p>“You try and stop me!” The younger man winced as he painfully banged his thigh into the front corner of the Impala as he raced round it in his haste not to be left behind. Not this time. “We go together!”</p><p>The only response was a grunt but Sam knew what the noise meant: he knew he had been understood. He stayed close to Dean as his brother marched to the front door and sharply knocked against the flaking paint of the wood, and he <em>intended</em> to stay close.</p><p>They stood in silence as they waited for a response… it seemed an ominous one to Sam even despite the gurgles and squeals of the now wide awake baby in her father’s arms. But then footsteps were heard approaching from inside the house and the door swung open…</p><p>… to reveal an tired-looking middle-aged woman, with long previously blonde hair now beginning to streak with grey and large dark bags under her eyes. “Hello? Can I help you?”</p><p>“We’re…” Sam began… but his brother interrupted: “I think it’s <em>you</em> who needs the help, ma’am.”</p><p>“Who are you and what the hell do you mean by that?” The deep voice came from behind the lady as a dark-haired man walked up to join her at the door, putting his arm around her protectively and proving that he was slighter shorter than her…</p><p>… or rather, he <em>tried</em> to put his arm around her. But the would-be tender motion was halted abruptly by a picture frame that had been hanging on the wall suddenly unexpectedly bursting into motion to fly across the hallway and strike the man hard on the back.</p><p>Even as he cried out in pain and fell forward, Dean was striding in through the door and past them both: “Hey, wait a minute!”</p><p>“It’s fine, ma’am!” The younger Winchester hastened to try and reassure her, “I…”</p><p>“That’s enough!” Dean’s deep stern voice made them all pause and look in his direction. He was already standing at the end of the corridor, Evie-Marie in his arms, and they were both staring down at…</p><p>… nothing.</p><p>Sam blinked: what the hell was his brother looking at?</p><p>But Dean was still talking. Carefully he knelt down on the carpeted floor as he did so he could stare the little girl in the eye: “I take it this lady is your mama? You look so like her, she must be. But why are you treating her like this? Throwing pictures off the wall? What’s that all about?”</p><p>“You can <em>see</em> me?!” “You can <em>see</em> her?!” The exclamations of everyone were synchronised… with the exception of Sam who simply stood with his mouth agape… and then the memory of the other Dean having a long conversation with that ghost in Columbia sprung to the forefront of his brain…</p><p>“Yes of <em>course</em> I can.” Dean’s assured but annoyed sounding tone made the younger Winchester wonder momentarily if his brother had actually realised that whoever he was seeing <em>was</em> dead…</p><p>… but then the older man carried on talking: “Now. There’s a picture of you in that frame on the wall with a much younger version of your mom and who I take it is your dad?”… he indicated another picture hanging beside the one so abruptly destroyed that Sam hadn’t noticed… “and that table in there”… again Dean nodded through into the main sitting room to the direction of a small sideboard <em>covered</em> with small photo frames and the younger brother as always was in equal amounts incredulous and impressed about the other’s instant observation skills and his own seeming equivalent lack of them… “shows all of you over and over. You looked happy when you were alive. And loved. So what’s all this about?”</p><p>“<em>He’s</em> here.” The child hissed in response. “Why is <em>he</em> here? I want my daddy! Where did my daddy go?”</p><p>“He left, Julie.” The woman was breaking free of her new would-be partner’s arms and running across to where Dean was kneeling to speak to the ghost of her daughter almost as if it were a usual occurrence for her... which it probably <em>was</em>… “He couldn’t take what… what happened. When you… when you died…</p><p>He blamed himself… when you started to choke, I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do… Neither did he, although he tried… he tried so hard, Julie. He tried to save you but it was all over so fast…</p><p>He left me… us… a few weeks after your funeral. He couldn’t deal with your death…</p><p>That was years ago, Julie. Over ten <em>years</em>… “</p><p>“He should be here!” The child stamped her foot petulantly. “He’s my daddy! He should be <em>here!”</em></p><p>“I wanted him here as well, Julie!” Tears were trickling down the woman’s face as she crouched beside the man and baby: Dean reached to comfort her. “But he left! He <em>left</em> us! And now Matt… he <em>wants</em> to be here. He makes me <em>happy</em>, Julie!”</p><p>“I don’t want <em>him.</em> I want my <em>daddy</em> here!” Julie’s tantrum reached fever point: the glass in all the rest of the picture frames… as well as in the cabinet and the front porch window shattered suddenly.</p><p> Sam snatched for the man and pushed him against the wall, trying to use his own larger body as a cover from all the spraying pieces of glass, while Dean reacted similarly with the bereaved mother, pulling her tightly towards him for protection for her and also to use <em>both</em> their bodies as a living umbrella to ensure that his daughter was untouched by even the most microscopic fragment…</p><p>… but <em>fuck</em>, was he pissed! His little girl had been put in <em>danger!</em></p><p>“That’s enough! That’s <em>enough!</em>” The depth of the growl beneath the angry words caused even Sam to shiver down his spine a little: it wasn’t just that there was a threat in the tone, it was more that there was a hint of unnatural power… and of the kind that humans instinctively and innately knew not to cross. “<em>Look</em> at your mother! Look at what you’re doing to her!  <em>No more</em>.”</p><p>The little girl burst into tears, but obeyed, her sobs turning to choked racks of misery with every sniff.</p><p>Evie-Marie, who had instantly fallen silent as her father had protected her, peeked round the security of his strong arms and tried to reach as if to try and offer comfort to the other child: her face showing frustration as her chubby hand instead went through where the other seemed to stand rather than giving genuine solace.</p><p>The baby leant back against Dean’s chest and held her own hands to stare at them as if in disbelief: either they, or her eyes, must be playing tricks on her! At any other time her father and her uncle would have found her confused expression extremely interesting.</p><p>And somewhat funny.</p><p>“You can’t.” Julie sniffled. “The only one who can touch me is that weird old lady. I wish mummy could touch me: I’ve tried to make her be able to for years.”</p><p>“What old lady? You mean there’s something else…. I mean, <em>another</em> ghost in this house?”  her mother was aghast. And despite her relief that somebody else actually seemed to be able to see her dead daughter, she was already looking around with scared wide eyes as if expecting to see a hoard of spirits floating down the stairs.</p><p>“She wants me to go with her!” Julie explained. “An old lady who knows my name and looks sad when I shout at her to go away. She has a bracelet on her arm that reminds me of Tigger and it rattles because she’s so thin, and there’s these string of pearls around her neck…”</p><p>“That’s my mother!” The woman almost screamed in disbelief. “I gave her that bracelet when I was your age and she always wore it. It’s made of tortoise shell but it always reminded <em>me</em> of a tiger as well because of the colours…”</p><p>“That’s Gramma?” The child stopped crying and stared at her mother.</p><p>“Yes!” It was the mother’s turn to talk through her tears. “She died when you were only a baby but she loved you so much. I should have known she’d have been here for you. That’s… that’s…” She was forced to stop speaking for a minute while she tried to catch her breath. “I wish I could see her as well, I miss her so much. Losing her and then you, I…</p><p>…. I wanted to join your both. So many times, I just wanted to join you...”</p><p>She fell silent as both Dean and her daughter stared at her with horrified eyes… but the man purposely allowed the child to speak first. “But you <em>can’t</em>, mom!” Julie was aghast at the thought. “I don’t want you to… I don’t want you to join me. Not yet…”</p><p> “But I wanted to. So much. I could see you but he couldn’t… He couldn’t take me talking about you as if you were there. He just… <em>went</em>. He has a new wife now, Julie. You have two half-siblings.”</p><p>The woman paused… and acknowledged sadly… “He didn’t <em>want</em> to see you, Julie…”</p><p>“He <em>married</em> again, mommy?” The little girl was crying again. “Is that why he never came back? To get away from me?”</p><p>“No, Julie,” Her mother told her. “He left to get away from <em>me</em> and my madness. And his guilt. He left and he had those men come and get his things and I received the divorce papers through the post to sign.”</p><p>“I wanted him here with us.”</p><p>“I know, my darling.” If her mother could have hugged her then she would have. “I couldn’t make him stay, Julie. And I never wanted to leave this house because of you… You’d have been all alone…</p><p>I didn’t know you had <em>Gramma</em>.”</p><p>There was something in the woman’s voice. Her daughter looked up at her… into her mother’s face. So did Evie-Marie. And Dean, who narrowed his eyes as he also scrutinized her carefully…. and saw…</p><p>… hope.</p><p>“Your dad moved on to a new life.” He quietly commented. “Time you let your mama do the same.”</p><p>That caught the little girl’s attention away from her mother. “What do you mean…?”</p><p>“You love your mother, don’t you? You were upset just then when she said what she just said.” Julie stared blankly at him. “She’s stayed with you for ten years, child: I bet your room hasn’t been changed at all, has it? Time to let her have some happiness of her own now.”</p><p>“But I want her <em>here</em>.” The tantrum threatened to re-appear…</p><p>Dean was having none of it. “You’re dead.”</p><p>Evie ducked her head into her daddy’s chest and clung on tight to his strong arms as she felt the tension again rise in the house…</p><p>“You’re <em>dead</em>, Julie.” Dean continued, his tone leaving no room for discussion or argument. “You died, and that’s terrible but you’re still dead. And your mother’s <em>alive</em>, and hopefully has got a lot of years to live. You’ll be together again after, you know you will. But it’s time to let her go, child. Time to let her live the rest of her life. It really is.”</p><p>The elder Winchester’s words were simple. Gentle. Somehow mesmerizing.</p><p>But commanding.</p><p>The little girl stared at him, with now just one solitary tear trickling down her cheek. “S’pose.” she whispered. Then: “I’m sorry.”</p><p>This last was addressed to her mother, who promptly burst into tears again: “I can’t let you go!”</p><p>“You must.” Dean told her. “She has to move on. For her sake <em>and</em> yours. If her grandmother is here for her, then you have to let her go. You’ll meet again. Please believe me: you <em>will</em> meet again.”</p><p>The woman sobbed but nodded as she tried so desperately to hug her daughter for one last time, her face screwing up in desperation as her arms simply passed through the child’s spiritual body. Both looked ready to cry.</p><p>Then Evie once more leant forward from her father’s strong grasp to touch the woman gently on her arm… and both mother and daughter smiled at the baby in unison, breaking the previous friction so that it dissipated as quickly as it had arisen.</p><p>“Is Gramma here?” The woman asked hesitantly.</p><p>But it was Dean who answered. “I’m taking it that that’s the lady over there?” as he indicated the elderly lady with silvered hair tied in a bun and the afore-mentioned bangle dangling on her skinny arm, hovering randomly three foot or so in the air or so in the doorway of an opposite room unnoticed and unseen by everyone except himself and the two youngsters.</p><p>Julie bit at her lip: “Yes. That’s Gramma. Do I <em>have</em> to go…?”</p><p>Her mother was staring in the direction that Dean had indicated, <em>desperate</em> to see her mother for one last time… but she turned at the sound of her daughter’s voice. “Yes, my darling. As this man said, we’ll meet again: he <em>promised</em> that we will! But… Julie… you have to <em>go</em>, sweetheart. Please. For me. Go with Gramma.”</p><p>Tears rolled down the cheeks of the little girl once more but she nodded. “I’m sorry mommy.</p><p>I love you.”</p><p>The woman had to stifle her own sobs: “I love <em>you</em>, sweetheart. So much. <em>And</em> you, mama!” This was directed toward the (to her) empty wall. “I love you too!”</p><p>Then she was breaking down fully as a sudden column of blinding light that seemed to be coming down through the roof from heaven itself illuminated the doorway where the elderly spirit was floating,.</p><p>Sam and the couple stared as they <em>all</em> could suddenly see both the ghosts: the man beside him drawing in a sudden shocked breath as the young source of his girlfriend’s trauma was abruptly revealed, and the woman dissolving into blubbery tears as she saw her beloved mother for one last time…</p><p>“Mama!”</p><p>The old woman smiled at her: “I love you as well, Mary. Always have, always will.” Her voice was cracked but warm. “Now!” And she was reaching out her arm to beckon to her grand-daughter, the bangle rattling on her slim wrist and catching the bright light in a blaze of tiger-orange: “Did you know we can bake cookies in Heaven? Do you want to come and see?”</p><p>“Chocolate-chip ones?” Julie’s eyes were wide: “Oh, I’ve <em>missed</em> chocolate-chip cookies!”</p><p>Her grandmother chuckled: “Chocolate-chip ones!”</p><p>She looked over at her daughter and nodded with a smile as the little girl <em>finally</em> took her hand after all the years of asking. Julie turned to also smile at her mother… and then they, and the brilliant brightness, were gone, leaving the house somewhat dark and dismal behind them.</p><p>Sam stood and stared at his brother.</p><p> Dean felt the gaze and twisted where he knelt to meet the younger man’s eyes from across the hallway. They shared a nod between them, and then the mummy-daddy was getting to his feet, with his baby daughter safe and secure in his arms, to cross to join his little brother at the entrance to the recently haunted house. Silently they all three returned to the Impala, leaving behind them the man to try to helplessly comfort the sobbing woman.</p><p>They sat in silence in the vehicle for a while… then…. “Fancy a cheeseburger?” Sam suggested.</p><p>“Yuk.” was Dean’s automatic reaction: the younger man tried to contain his sigh. “But I could go for some fried chicken!”</p><p>But the most major difference of all became obvious when Evie was about 6 months old.</p><p>She had been teething and was extremely grumpy and grizzling about it. Not to mention overtired.</p><p>As was Dean, who had sat up with his daughter for the best part of two nights trying to soothe her. He was the only one that stood any chance of perhaps getting the baby to settle through the night, but even so, all Evie’s sharp little baby teeth seemed to be coming through at once, making her all but permanently red-cheeked for the past few days and genuinely crying with pain.</p><p>Castiel had been taking a turn at cuddling the stressed little girl, having insisted that his friend went and tried to catch up with his own sleep. Dean himself had started to look both pale and sweaty all at the same time, and both the other men were concerned for <em>his</em> health. (He was, despite his protests, the first of his species, and consequently might have unsuspected reactions, allergic or otherwise, to previously ‘normal’ things.)</p><p>The dark-haired man heard the light footsteps that meant that Dean was returning to the main room and suppressed a sigh: the other man hadn’t been gone as long a time as he’d hoped. Then his attention was back to the baby as she squiggled around and fussed in his lap. “What is it, child?” He asked with his endless patience. “I’ve tried to assist you with your discomfort but unfortunately, short of pulling each tooth forcefully through your gums, there is not much else I can do!”</p><p>She stared at him as if with disgust, then opened her mouth to send out yet another wail… but suddenly stopped. The angel watched with one eyebrow raised as Evie’s miniature nostrils suddenly twitched with the depth of her inhalation, her head twisted in the direction of her father… and then the baby suddenly settled.</p><p>As in settled <em>completely</em>. She stopped crying and instead seemed to concentrate on just… breathing in, her expression somehow becoming… serene… as she scented… whatever it was she was scenting… but whatever it was, her flushed cheeks suddenly soothed and faded to a more normal looking complexion as the pheronomes calmed and seemed to clear her discomfort.</p><p>Within moments, she was sound asleep.</p><p>But by then, Castiel’s attention was all on Dean. “You do not look well. At <em>all</em>. Are you sickening for something: should we call Benjamin?”</p><p> For his friend’s face was definitely pale in colour despite the sweat seemingly pouring off him. In fact his features could be called worse than pale: the hue of his appearance was almost grey… Castiel was already on his feet in concern…</p><p>Dean hastily stepped back at his approach, anxious about infecting the baby in the angel’s arms with whatever malady he seemed to be suffering from: “Don’t know if it’s the flu or something worse, but I don’t want her getting it! Can you watch her tonight for me?”</p><p>“I will watch over her always, you have no need to ask,” the dark-haired man assured him seriously. “But it is <em>you</em> that I am worried about. We should call Benjamin…”</p><p>“What’s going on?” Sam paused from the top of the steps, which he had just crept up as quietly as he could: the sudden silence of his previously seemingly permanently squawling niece drawing his curiosity like a moth to a flame. But then he was registering the state of his brother and Castiel’s words: “What’s wrong?” His tone was sharper than he intended in his panic. “Are you ill? <em>Dean?</em>”</p><p>The older man sighed. And shivered with cold despite the fact that he felt as he would spontaneously combust at any second: “Don’t know what’s wrong,” he finally admitted. “Just been feeling… worse and worse all day…”</p><p>“Are you hot? I mean, really hot! Feverish?” The angel stared at the younger Winchester in surprise at his words: what did Sam know that he didn’t?</p><p>Dean was also staring at his brother… momentarily… but then his stomach churned and he hastily tried to swallow the feeling down before he gagged. “Yeah,” he muttered. “And that. To put it bluntly, I feel like crap.”</p><p>“I’ll bet.” Sam looked down at his feet. He didn’t want to say… well, he did but… he just didn’t know how Dean would react… well, he <em>did</em>… but there was a little bit of him… well, a <em>not</em> so little bit of him that he would be ready to volunteer the use of… only for his brother’s health of course.</p><p>Only for Dean.</p><p>He came out of his thoughts to find the other two men staring at him: the angel still with the now happily snoring baby in his arms and a confused expression on his face, and Dean with his hair looking just washed because of the amount of sweat dripping through it and a slump to his body that gave the clue that he was about to collapse at any minute.</p><p>“Sam?” He wasn’t even sure which one of them had spoken. What he was about to say was so important and could change <em>everything</em>…</p><p>“I think you’re going into Heat.”</p><p>“I’m… what?” Dean swayed on his feet even as he stared at the younger man.</p><p>“Of <em>course</em>.” Castiel shook his head at himself. “I had forgotten!” Then the same thought was striking him as it had Sam immediately and he bit his lips not to utter what he so wanted to say next.</p><p>Dean stared at them both, looking from one to the other with his now slightly glazed eyes trying to make sense of what they were meaning… then: “Oh. <em>Oh!</em> Ohhhhh!</p><p><em>Shit</em>.”</p><p>The younger Winchester steeled himself: “Dean, I…”</p><p>“Don’t want to hear it, Sammy!”</p><p>“Dean…”</p><p>“Nah-ah!” And the older man was pulling away from them both, stumbling slightly as he did as his head spun and his vision blurred… and he was unaware of his irises beginning to ring with gold…</p><p>Desperately he tried to hold on to his sanity: “Samuel told me about this Heat thing, and I know… I know how bad it’s going to get without him because I <em>need</em> him and… I know… I know what you’re offering. Both of you. But I…”</p><p>He took a deep breath. “I don’t see you that way, Sammy. I never have, I never will. And I can’t…</p><p>It wouldn’t be right to Samuel…</p><p>He’s my… he’s my mate…</p><p>And I know you both are hoping… I don’t mean that as it sounds: I <em>know</em> that you just want to help,” as Sam and Castiel both went to speak. “But I can’t. I just can’t.</p><p>Not to Samuel.”</p><p>There was a long silence in the room, disturbed only by the soft snores of the baby. “I… er… I should put her in her crib.” Castiel’s calm gravelly voice gave away only the slightest hint of his intense disappointment. “But Dean… we are only thinking of you. The <em>other </em>Dean gave us to understand just how much he was going to suffer without his Alpha…”</p><p>His friend grimaced as the heat seemed to intensify inside him, but tried to smile through it: “I know, Cas. And I’m grateful.</p><p>But I’m doing this alone.”</p><p>“I knew you’d say that.” Sam joined in quietly. “And I get <em>why</em>. You and Samuel are <em>soul</em>-mates, not a… a forced mating.” These words were spoken in an even lower tone: the younger Winchester had been horrified when Dean had told him how their counter-parts had come to be a couple…</p><p>… about how <em>his</em> counter-part had <em>raped</em> his older brother. And the twisted society of that other dimension had accepted such an action as a natural… and probably common… occurrence.</p><p>The other Dean didn’t need to have <em>any</em> loyalty towards his mate. And as far as <em>this</em> Sam was concerned, that other Sam didn’t <em>deserve</em> any.</p><p>He took a deep breath and fought down his anger and disgust to continue: “Cas and I will be here if you need us. I promise you that, and it’s not about us… <em>wanting</em> you… but that we both will do absolutely <em>anything</em> to keep you safe. So whatever happens in these next few days with this Heat, and whatever you may need, you will not be judged, Dean. Not by us.</p><p>But in the meantime…</p><p>I bought you <em>these</em>.”</p><p>And Sam was running back down the steps towards his room and returning as quickly as his long legs could carry him with a plain carrier bag that he handed immediately to Dean…</p><p>… but he wasn’t able to resist doing so without a huge smirk on his face.</p><p>“What’s this?” And then the older Winchester was blushing scarlet to the tips of his ears as he reached into the bag and pulled out… two extremely large vibrating dildos and a couple of economy packs of batteries.</p><p>Sam couldn’t help himself: “That one’s got an…” his chuckles turned to coughs… “it… it inflates. At the end. I thought… well, I thought…</p><p>And the other’s the biggest on the market: they call it ‘the horse’. You might find them useful.”</p><p>Sam’s amusement had all vanished as he stared at Dean. Whose expression, despite the drips of perspiration gathering in ever greater amount in his military-short hair and forming in large drops on his upper lip, was worryingly blank as he in turn stared wide-eyed at the items in his hands. “Dean?”</p><p>The… green… wait a minute - <em>gold</em> eyes… shit: his brother’s eyes were turning <em>gold!</em>... flicked in Sam’s direction. Instinctively the younger man took a step back.</p><p>But then Dean was relaxing: “Thanks, Bitch.”</p><p>Sam grinned: “You got it, Jerk. We’ll look after Evie: you go and look after yourself. We’ll bring you food and drink and leave it outside your door, so make sure you get it… and Dean?” As the other turned on somewhat wobbly legs to escape to the safety of his room, “Anything you need. <em>Anything</em>. You’ve got it.”</p><p>Dean nodded, and stumbled away in the direction of the top of the steps. Both the other men had to resist hard the urge to assist him safely down them, but he somehow managed it on his own and set off up the corridor, presents tightly in hand, toward his room.</p><p>He left behind a silence.</p><p>“What do we do now, Sam? Do you think he might…?” The angel’s voice shook slightly. “Every day I have to remind myself not to touch… <em>too</em> much. Do you think…?”</p><p>The younger Winchester turned to him with a sigh. “He’s not <em>that</em> Dean. This one’s my brother… I should <em>never</em> have crossed that line, Cas.</p><p>Never.</p><p>All we can do now is be around in case. Just in <em>case</em> he needs…</p><p>What I <em>don’t </em>want to do though, is to give him any reason to be anxious around us. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens over the next few days…</p><p>That’s all we can do.”</p><p>Dean shut the door of his room behind him and rested his head against the wood. Shit, he really felt like crap!</p><p>He couldn’t decide which was going to kill him first: the internal fire that was threatening to combust his entire body at any moment… or the nausea in his stomach that made his feel that he was going to puke his entire guts up at any minute… or the fact that his ass felt… so empty.</p><p>How could it feel so <em>empty?</em></p><p><em>Dean</em> felt so empty.</p><p>Not just his ass. He felt so…</p><p>… like <em>he</em> was just a hole. And he desperately needed to be filled. By something.</p><p>By someone.</p><p>By Samuel.</p><p>He needed Samuel.</p><p>He needed his smile, and his arms, and his body, and his…</p><p>He needed his cock, and he needed his knot and he needed to be fucked to within an inch of his life, and then he needed it to happen again, and again, and again, and…</p><p>… the fire erupted inside him, and he was drowning in his own sweat, and he was empty, and <em>horny</em>: so horny that his cock was almost purple and his asshole felt like a living empty hole that <em>needed</em> to be filled, even though that weird slicky stuff was now pouring out of it like a fucking <em>tap</em> had been turned on, and he needed Samuel because that young man was his mate and he needed <em>him</em>.</p><p>And now he was crying.</p><p>Dean collapsed to the ground beside his door in a tearful and disgustingly sticky heap of hot and lust and loneliness and <em>need</em>… and just cried.</p><p>He wasn’t sure what time it was when he opened his eyes later. He must have cried himself to sleep. When was the last time he had done that? Had he done it <em>ever?</em> What the hell was <em>wrong</em> with him? What a baby he had turned into: he wasn’t a thing, he was a fucking <em>baby!</em> John would be so ashamed…</p><p>And he still <em>hurt</em>. He was still burning up inside: he still wished… oh <em>god</em> he wished… he wished Samuel was there.</p><p>His eyes fell on the discarded toys that his brother had bought him… boy, was <em>that</em> embarrassing!? Now t<em>here</em> was something that they were never, <em>ever</em> going to speak of again. Uh-huh, definitely not!</p><p>The pressure from the hole inside that seemed to be starting from his asshole and spreading fiercely throughout his entire body was building up again. Desperately he ripped off and discarded the all but destroyed pants and underwear that he had been wearing, before tearing into the wrapping of the biggest vibrator and snatching up the batteries: “Come on, come on!”</p><p>Then he was sobbing again: this time from relief as the machine buzzed into life inside him and did its job… easing his pain for a little while at least. “Thanks, Sam.”</p><p> And as if <em>that</em> wasn’t fucked up.</p><p>But Dean knew it wouldn’t last. He could already feel the flames and the slippery emptiness building up again, and it was only going to get worse…</p><p>And worse…</p><p>Even as he and his brother’s thoughtful gift worked their way through the whole first pack of batteries, the man turned new omega was crying himself to blessed unconsciousness once more.</p><p>“Dean?” The knocking from outside woke him up. “I’ve put a tray with bottles of water and some juice and sandwiches on the floor down here. You make sure you stay hydrated: if they’re not gone next time I come round then I’m busting your door down, okay big brother?”</p><p>“K…kay, Sammy. Thanks.” Jesus, his voice sounded rough: it was cracked and dry. Even as he moved to the door and dragged the tray into the room, the flames burnt through him again, forcing him to change the batteries and put the toy to use again.</p><p>The next time he became aware of his surroundings again he was fully naked on his bed… to be more exact, on the bare mattress with all his bedding, (and the rest of the clothing that he had been in), as a crumpled, sodden, messy heap around. Dean himself felt so dry that drinking the entire Colorado river wouldn’t be able to ease it.</p><p>Desperately he opened and glugged down some of the bottles of water from the tray, revelling in the cool liquid pouring down his parched throat.</p><p>“Dean? You okay?” And his brother was there outside his door again. “You drinking that okay?  You need more?”</p><p>“I’m good.” He managed to croak back. Then he had to ask: “Have you been outside <em>listening</em> all that time or…?”</p><p>“No.” The younger man was quick to reassure him. “No. It’s Evie. She seems to be tied in to when you’re… slightly more coherent. Which, in a way, I suppose makes sense, as if a baby was on their own in <em>that</em> world with an omega parent in Heat then it might well starve while the parents were… otherwise occupied. Or at least, just cry itself out for nothing.</p><p>But actually, the moment she sensed that you were… well, going into <em>this</em>, she settled down completely: I mean <em>completely</em>. It’s been like she’s been doped. She’s only woken up twice these last two days, and that’s only to have a bottle and then she’s just immediately gone back to sleep again! She hasn’t even stirred while we’ve been changing her diaper! And both times she <em>has</em> done, I’ve come down to check on you and that’s when you’ve been able to talk to me…</p><p>I admit I’ve checked a couple of other times as well, but I wasn’t getting any sense out of you then apart from noises that I don’t <em>ever</em> want to hear again!”</p><p>Dean groaned with embarrassment. And heard his brother chuckle gleefully from outside his door. Then the other took pity:</p><p>“I’ve brought some more bottles. And if the other Dean told me right, then you’re nearing the worst of this. Possibly tonight, probably tomorrow: he said it usually lasts about five days. Once you’re over the peak, then you should be okay…</p><p>And I mean it: if you need help, even if it’s just a cuddle, you <em>ask</em>. I <em>love </em>you, big brother. I’ll do <em>anything</em> for you! Don’t you ever forget that!”</p><p>Dean felt tears prickle again as he heard Sam’s footsteps fading away once more from the other side of the door, and hastily drank the rest of the bottle of water that he had started. “I love you as well,” he muttered, “thanks.”</p><p>Quickly he ate the covered but drying-out sandwiches and drank the last bottle of water, before putting the empty tray outside his door and pulling the freshly replenished one in. “Seriously, <em>thanks, </em>Sammy!”</p><p>But then he was wincing as the heat inside him began to build up again. Worse than ever.</p><p>He tried the toys again: first one, then the other. Then, with worryingly shaky hands, he changed the batteries in both. Then tried using the vibrators together as one, all inhibitions <em>long</em> since gone.</p><p>It didn’t come close to scratching the itch. The literal bucket of his own sweat dripping out of every pore didn’t come close to cooling him down. Not even <em>close</em>. He was dying from his own internal furnace burning up his insides. Either that, or he would die of sheer dehydration first…</p><p>What he <em>needed</em> was for all of this pain to be well and truly fucked out of him. That’s what this stupid transformed body of his needed…</p><p>That’s <em>all</em> he needed!</p><p>He was going to <em>die</em> from the lack of fucking incredible sex!</p><p>And how ironic was that!? Dean Winchester, the self-proclaimed greatest love machine of the whole good old U. S. of A. dying from the lack of it!</p><p>No.</p><p><em>No</em>.</p><p> He had a daughter. And Evie-Marie needed her daddy. And even though he didn’t know how he had ever been allowed to have something… some <em>one</em>… so fucking incredible in his life: how could someone as useless as <em>him</em> have possibly had such an <em>amazing</em> little girl… she needed him.</p><p>He <em>wasn’t</em> going to die here.</p><p>Not like this.</p><p>No, he was just going to have to suck it up and fucking well get through this. He was an <em>Omega</em>.</p><p>Even if he still wasn’t quite sure what an omega actually was.</p><p>And… more importantly… he was Dean fucking Winchester.</p><p>So Bring. It. Fucking. On.</p><p>He wasn’t to know it but that would turn out to be his last coherent conscious thought for the next nearly nineteen hours.</p><p>He wasn’t to know it but both his brother and Castiel would be standing outside his door for most of those hours, with Evie’s baby monitor in hand, listening to his whimpers and pained cries…</p><p>He would never know how many times the two friends had looked at each other helplessly and desperate to help…</p><p>But every time they had respected his wishes and left him alone.</p><p>The next lucid thought that Dean had… was that he was suddenly awake. In his bedroom… although at second glance… it <em>wasn’t</em> his. Well… it was <em>his</em> bed… or at least similar to it… but not his room. He didn’t <em>know</em> the room…</p><p>… but it was bathed in a pale blue light.</p><p>That didn’t really register with the omega though. No, the only thing that <em>he</em> cared about, his second rational thought that instantaneously turned into the <em>only</em> thing that mattered was that there was something cool wrapped around him.</p><p>Something behind him his full length that was blessedly cool against him and wrapped around him with long strong arms and long legs with thighs like marble that pressed over his… and a scent that soothed him and aroused him and made him feel safe and brought tears of joy to his eyes, and he couldn’t wait to wriggle his body around in the tight loving hold so that he could face…</p><p>“<em>Samuel…”</em></p><p>“Hey, baby Alpha.”</p><p>Dean couldn’t help himself. He burst into tears… of numerous emotions: some to do with his Heat; some disbelief; most pure joy.</p><p>“How can this be real?” he sobbed.</p><p>Samuel wiped his mate’s tears away with his gentle hand, but leant forward and touched their foreheads together in a gesture so tender that the older man felt his breath leave him from pleasure: “I don’t think it <em>is</em> real, baby. I think Our Lady has brought us together in a dream, but I’ll take it. I’ll take <em>anything</em> to be able to see you, Dean.</p><p><em>I</em> was struggling with a sudden rut… <em>really</em> struggling… it hit me out of the blue, my first ever one, and I’ve never been so cold in all my life: absolutely <em>freezing</em>.</p><p><em>Or</em> so horny: my… er… well, everything was hurting. But if <em>you’re</em> in Heat then that probably explains it: she’s caused us to sync…”</p><p> “You look older…” Dean felt like an idiot for suddenly blurting that out, but indeed the other did.</p><p>Gone was the youthful appearance of the sixteen year old that he had first met: now there was a definite and extremely masculine looking young  man lying beside him, who had the long slim limbs and dimples of both Sams, but with his own dazzling green eyes and long lashes… “Jesus, how long has it been in your world? You must be… twenty three? Twenty four? It’s only been twelve months here… I’m so sorry, Samuel… about <em>everything</em>…”</p><p>His words were cut off by the young man kissing him suddenly, demanding entrance to his much-missed mate’s lips but hey… Dean could definitely get on board with that! He wriggled closer…</p><p>Although eventually even the Alpha had to pause for breath and finally answered his question: “No, no, it’s been a year for us as well. It’s just that, once we present, that’s when we mature as well. The moment we mated I became a man. You <em>made</em> me into a man.” And he was moving in to kiss Dean again.</p><p>But this time, Dean put up his hand to block him. “Sammy,” he began nervously, “ I… I have to tell you something.</p><p>We have a child. A little girl.”</p><p>The other’s breath caught… and then the handsome young man’s face broke into the widest, proudest grin that Dean had even seen. “Fine if wispy blonde hair; your gorgeous eyes; has a toy baby moose that she always cuddles in her sleep…?”</p><p>The other stared at him wide-mouthed.</p><p>“I see her in my dreams. Every single night. Oh Dean, she’s so beautiful: she looks just like you! And she sees me as well! She always looks for me and I play with her.”</p><p>Dean paused as numerous memories of the little girl chuckling and babbling away in her sleep at <em>something</em> came to mind: the sudden knowledge of Samuel’s existence in his daughter’s life, albeit in a dream dimension, lifted an enormous weight off his shoulders that he hadn’t even realised had been there.</p><p>“What’s her name?” his Alpha had watched the relief on his face with understanding.</p><p>“Evie-Marie.” Dean told him: “I tell her about you every single day, I swear I do!”</p><p>“I know you do.” Samuel assured him. “I’m going to find you one day, Dean. And this… <em>this</em>…. is only proof that Our Lady <em>will</em> bring us back together. And I can’t wait, I really can’t: I love you <em>so</em> much!</p><p>But in the meantime…” and he smirked at his older lover, pulling their bodies back to their position of full length touching while in the meantime turning them so that he was on top, his strong hands already touching everywhere that he could while moving to plunder the omega’s mouth with his tongue: “I get to have a whole night with you, baby Alpha. Even if it <em>is</em> only in our dreams…</p><p>And I don’t intend to waste one single <em>moment</em> of it!”</p><p>Dean felt exhausted when he finally woke up again in his room hours later. The phrase ‘running a marathon’ didn’t cover how tired he was: he felt that he must have run around the entire world at least six times! Everything about him ached to the point of all his limbs feeling wobbly and he was so dehydrated despite being covered in… everything that he did not want to think about… that his head was spinning even while he was still lying down!</p><p>Had he just dreamt Samuel?</p><p>But his body was feeling cooler; he was thinking clearer: in fact he was now shivering from the effects of sweating so much that he stumbled over to where he had hung his ‘dead man’s robe’ and wrapped it around himself hastily for warmth…</p><p>… this was nearly over.</p><p>First thing: water.</p><p>Dean opened his door and peaked outside, then felt his eyes prickle yet <em>again</em> at the sight of Sam, slumped fully clothed on the cold floor outside his room and sound asleep.</p><p>“Sammy?” Dean knelt down and prodded at his chest, although to be fair, he was far more interested in the fresh bottles of water on the tray beside his brother. Desperately he grabbed at one to open it and glugged the nectar tasting liquid down his parched throat.</p><p>“Dean?” And the younger man was awakening from his uncomfortable snooze and was trying to stretch out his aches and pains: “You okay?”</p><p>The older man finished the first bottle and reached for another: “Yeah. No. Feel like shit, but better than I <em>have</em> been.” This all came like a croak. “Water?”</p><p>Sam understood the gesture if not the cracked husky words and quickly handed him the next bottle, opening it for his brother as he did.</p><p>But even as Dean raised it to his lips, he found himself suddenly engulfed by the arms of the younger man, who had tried and failed to stop himself from launching into a full embrace, nearly knocking them both over in the meantime: “I was so worried. You’ve been out for hours! So has Evie!”</p><p>“She has?”</p><p>But as if on cue, there was a burble of baby sound through the monitor. Followed almost immediately by the deep dry tones of Castiel: “I am glad to see you awake. The Bunker has been extremely quiet these last few days: I did not realise how much life and laughter your existence has filled it with.”</p><p>As if she was responding to him, there was another burst of cooing babble: “Bllllllloooooobbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrddddddd?”</p><p>“Exactly my point!” the angel commented. Both brothers grinned as they sat on the floor in the corridor together and listened to the ‘conversation’, Sam’s arm still slung casually around the older man. “And I am hoping that your stirring means the same for your father: you seem to be the indicator as to when he is back with us in the land of the conscious.”</p><p>“Brrrrrdddddddbbbbbbbddddoooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddaaaaaaaaaaa.”</p><p>“Yes, your father. I hope that he is also awake and able to take in sustenance. Both of you need some badly. This is very difficult for <em>all</em> of us with you and him being the first of a unique species: Sam and I are just having to feel our way through it and hope we are doing right for you both.”</p><p>“Dddddddddddddd!”</p><p>Sam started: “Is she trying to say dad!”</p><p>Dean grinned: “That’s my girl! But now I really need the bathroom. And oh my god, I stink!”</p><p>“I didn’t want to mention it, but yes, you do! How are you feeling now you can talk to me?”</p><p>“Better for the moment, but I can feel it’s not quite gone yet. I need a shower, but is there anything to eat? I’m starving!”</p><p>Sam got up and reached a large steady hand to help his brother stand as well, noticing how Dean stumbled a little as he did and seemed to still be shaky on his feet, not helped at all by him trying to keep the flaps of the old dressing gown closed together to cover his nudity. “You get changed while I sort your bedding. Then how d’ya fancy bacon and pancakes?”</p><p>Dean moaned: “Sounds great. Thanks bro. But I’ll do my room: believe me, you do <em>not</em> want to go in there!” He paused: “Sammy?”</p><p>The younger man turned: “Yeah?”</p><p>He watched with raised eyebrows as Dean struggled internally with himself… but then he thought: ‘honest with each other, that’s what we said and that’s what I’ve got to try to be’. “She sent Samuel to me, Sammy. The goddess I mean. She sent Samuel to help me through this!”</p><p>His younger brother stared at him… then was suddenly pushing past Dean and into his bedroom… only to back out almost instantly, gagging at the <em>stench</em> of stale sweat and… other odours that were so impregnated that they would probably take <em>days</em> to clear from the room…</p><p>“Samuel was <em>here?!</em>”</p><p>“No.” Dean hastened to explain. “Not in reality... in my <em>dream</em>. He was there in my dream, Sammy. And he knew about Evie! He said that he played with her in <em>her</em> dreams…”</p><p>Sam struggled with his emotions… that fucking, <em>fucking</em> goddess… but finally controlled them enough to ask: “What else did he say?”</p><p>“Let me grab a shower, Sammy, and I’ll tell you.”</p><p>The younger man nodded, and watched with narrowed eyes as his brother incorrectly thought he was being subtle when he used one hand against the wall as a steadying brace to get himself round the corner of the corridor to the bathroom. Taking a deep breath the younger man plunged into Dean’s room and snatched up a whole armful of bedding to be laundered, trying not to think too much about… <em>anything</em> while he did so!</p><p>It  had all already been set washing in the machine, (and an air freshener sprayed around the omega’s bedroom) by the time Dean had managed to get himself dressed for the first time in what for the other two men had been an extremely worrisome few days. He came slowly into the kitchen wearing loose sweatpants and his brother’s old college hoodie, still looking flushed and pale all at the same time but definitely not as ill-looking as he had before, and headed immediately to his daughter who was already seated in her highchair munching away at small pieces of pancake: “Ddddddddddddadddadddaaaaaaaaaa!”</p><p>“She <em>is</em> saying dad!” the younger Winchester couldn’t believe it. “Or trying to anyway! Say Sammy… unca Sammy!”</p><p>“Thhrrruuup.” The baby poked her pancake-coated tongue out to make the noise:  her father chuckled at her as he all but collapsed into the nearest chair while his brother pouted a little. Castiel cocked his head on one side: “She is <em>definitely</em> developing earlier than the books would suggest…”</p><p>“She’s perfect,” Dean was rightly proud, “and her daddy <em>Samuel</em> thinks she is as well!”</p><p>“Samuel?” The angel looked confused.</p><p>“Yeah,” Dean told him: “I’ve got a story to tell you both. But food first please. This thing doesn’t feel as bad now but it still hasn’t quite gone yet.<em>”</em></p><p>“Are you alright?” Sam brought over a fresh hot stack of pancakes, but grinned as he noticed his brother’s eyes already on the bacon. That if nothing else was a good sign.</p><p>Dean sighed: “I feel ready to collapse into bed and just <em>sleep</em> for a week. I can’t believe I’m going to have to go through this every six months…</p><p>But thanks for looking after Evie for me.”</p><p>“<em>Always.</em>” Both the others assured him at the same time.</p><p>And they meant it as well.</p><p>They always would.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time went on.</p><p>Evie-Marie began walking when she was nine months old… and started running about five minutes later!</p><p>Within half an hour, she had fallen over hard enough in one of the cold-tiled corridors of the Bunker to severely bruise both her knees and palms, bloody her little nose and chin and knock one of her brand-new teeth right out.</p><p>Half an hour later she had finally cried herself to sleep in her father’s strong arms as he cuddled her on his lap, still sniffing and whimpering every few moments even as she dreamed, her little plump cheeks still shining from the recent tear tracks…</p><p>… and it had made Dean’s decision for him.</p><p>He was up bright and early the next morning: “Cas! I’m just popping out a minute! Can you keep an ear out for Evie when she awakes?”</p><p>“Of course, but where are you go…?”</p><p>But all the angel got for an answer was the clang of the Bunker door.</p><p>Sam didn’t know where his brother had gone either when he returned from his job, which caused him to be immediately concerned despite Castiel’s calm reassurances that Dean would <em>never</em> have left his daughter.</p><p>Just as Sam was anxiously starting to trace the GPS whereabouts of the older Winchester’s cell phone, he was relieved to hear the rumble of the Impala outside the bunker and hurried to greet his brother: “Where the <em>hell</em> have you been?”</p><p>“Tell you in a minute.” Dean grinned at him even as he came down the stairs. “Where’s my munchkin?”</p><p>Sam followed him with some considerable irritation to the kitchen, where the little girl was settled in her highchair, still pouting slightly over her split lip but in no way letting it spoil her messy enjoyment of the sauced spaghetti that the angel had prepared. “Ddddddddddaddddddddddaddddddd!”</p><p>“Heya, baby!” He took his usual seat beside her and reached in to kiss her head, wary of getting a damp, red, tomato-coloured handprint… or two… on his over shirt as he did. “I’ve got a surprise for you!”</p><p>Even as Castiel plated up another, and much larger, portion of the spaghetti and passed it to his friend, Sam had already lost his patience: “Are you going to tell me or what? Why did you go off on your own? And where have you <em>been?</em>”</p><p>The older man sat back in his chair and regarded his younger brother with such an innocent expression on his face that the others both immediately felt their hearts plummet: “Oh god, what have you done?”</p><p>“I’ve bought a house.”</p><p>The Bunker was momentarily so silent, and Castiel and Sam so seemingly stunned if their blank expressions were anything to go by, that Dean couldn’t help but expect a tumble-weed to slowly drift through at any minute…</p><p>The thought made him chuckle.</p><p>“You’ve done what?” His younger brother couldn’t seem to momentarily comprehend the words…</p><p>“I’ve bought a house!”</p><p>He relented as they both still stared at him. “Well, Mary Jefferson’s house to be exact. You know, the lady who was being haunted by her little girl…?”</p><p>“I…” Sam shook himself physically and reached for his mug of coffee… while wishing desperately it was full of whiskey instead and that he hadn’t promised Dean that <em>he</em> would give up alcohol as well…</p><p>… what a ridiculously stupid idea <em>that</em> had been? Why on earth had he done that?</p><p>The hot beverage at least seemed to help. The young man glugged it down and then tried to speak calmly: “Okay. I remember the lady. And… Julie, wasn’t it? Her daughter who you convinced to go to heaven with her grandmother? And you’ve… bought her <em>house?!”</em></p><p>“That’s her.” Dean nodded even while he was slurping up a mouthful of spaghetti in his hunger, unaware that he was getting nearly as much of the sauce around his mouth as he did as his daughter already had on hers. Sam sighed at him but refrained from commenting.</p><p>His brother continued: “Well, I met her a few days later. Mary, I mean. In the store when I was getting more diapers. And she recognised me and thanked me again, and I gave her my number in case she had any more problems…</p><p>Anyway, she called me last week to say that she and Matt have decided to move on: they’re leaving Lebanon for good. And for some reason she wondered if I’d be interested in the house: she said that… she felt somehow that it was connected to me somehow.</p><p>I went out to have a look but it really does need a lot of work… And even though, she said I could have it at a discount… a really <em>good</em> discount in fact… I wasn’t sure.</p><p>Not until yesterday. Evie-Marie deserves a house with a soft carpet to fall on! And a lawn to play out on.”</p><p>“That she does.” Castiel smiled.</p><p>“So anyway.” Dean continued. “I called Mary last night and told her that as long as I could get the money together, then I’d have it. That’s where I’ve been.”</p><p>There was another silence. Castiel was quite happy with it… but Sam… “So where <em>have</em> you got the money from?” he burst out. “Damn it Dean, I want our little girl as safe as you do, but if you’ve maxed out our remaining credit cards again…</p><p>We’ve got to <em>live</em> here!”</p><p>“No. No. I…” Dean sighed to himself: shit, Sam was really going to be <em>pissed</em> at this bit. “Look.”</p><p>And he was holding out a printed form to his brother. The younger man took it from him, his eyes widening as he read the words: <em>I can confirm you are a winner. </em>“What’s this?”</p><p>Dean took a deep breath: “I was on my way to the bank trying to work out how I was going to get the money, then…”</p><p>“Then? <em>Then?</em>” The older Winchester’s assumption had been correct: his brother’s temper was definitely rising as Sam suddenly had the horrible feeling that he could see <em>exactly</em> where this was going. Even Evie was staring anxiously at her uncle, a small worm of spaghetti dangling neglected from between her tiny pink lips. “This better not be anything to do with that….<em>tell</em> me it’s nothing to do with that… <em>damned</em> goddess!”</p><p>“Sam, watch your tone around the baby please.” Castiel rebuked while Dean nervously ran his hand up and down the back of his head and neck smoothing and re-ruffling the short hair there: “Yeah… sorry, Sammy.”</p><p>The younger man bit viciously at the inside of his lower lip and sucked down the pain and sudden blood in an effort to remain calm. “Just tell me,” he eventually managed to bite out.</p><p>Dean decided that conciseness would probably be the best policy: now was not the time for him to joke, <em>however </em>much he loved winding his little brother up! “So I… er… well…</p><p><em>Baby</em> began to drive herself.” The other two men stared at him. “She… er… she turned us around, with me doing a little bit of panicking and tugging at the wheel and stamping on the brake with absolutely no effect whatsoever, but we ended up right outside the convenience store, so I took the hint and went in and er…</p><p>Well, the Perspex on the lottery stand had a blue reflection on it, although I couldn’t see what might be causing it, and it was that same damned blue so… well, I knew what it was, Sammy… so I er… I… bought a scratch card. Well, I bought three because it was only then that the blue faded… and the third…</p><p>… was a <em>winner</em>. I won sixty thousand dollars! Which Mary had offered me the house for!</p><p>So I’ve been in the bank where I showed them the scratch card and they let me call the lottery people and were happy to let me open an account once they’d received this confirmation that I’ve definitely won and the money is going to be wired straight into it within the next three days and then I went to see Mary and put a formal offer in for the house but as we’re doing it between us without an agent it looks like it’s going to mean doing a ton of paperwork which I’ve been trying to work through today, although I’d like you to look at a couple of forms for me Sammy as it’s all a bit technical so I brought them back with me, and then I… just drove around for a little bit because I couldn’t quite believe what I’ve done…”</p><p>Dean suddenly went quite pale, not only through a near complete lack of breath due to the length of this speech, and sat back in his chair. “I’ve bought a f…. I’ve bought a <em>house</em>, Sammy!”</p><p>He had indeed.</p><p>And it had such potential.</p><p>Sam stood in the hallway and looked around at the faded walls that, although now devoid of the last surviving pictures had the <em>years</em> of neglected dust to still show clearly where they had once hung. All the shattered glass had been cleared up and the windows boarded over rather than replaced… and the same lack of care showed all the way around Mary Jefferson’s house.</p><p>It was five weeks later and they were all there exploring Dean’s… ‘it’s <em>our</em> house, Sammy. Stop being such a princess just because this is the Lady’s work. You say <em>you</em> still believe in God even after everything: well, I believe in <em>her </em>so just shut up and stop sulking’… <em>their</em> new home.</p><p>Or it would be after a lot of work.</p><p>The only room that had seemed to be at first sight liveable in was the one that had clearly belonged to Julie as it had been painted in soft pinks and purples and carpeted with rainbows and unicorns, and had obviously never been touched since her death. But even then, there were signs of damp creeping in around the peeling windows and a worrying darkened area in the corner of the ceiling.</p><p>The rest of the rooms were worse. Grief, stress, and the pressure of suddenly finding herself abandoned with only a single income had left Mary with the incapacity to keep her home maintained to even the minimal standard… and the damage that the increasingly unstable ghost of her daughter had caused definitely hadn’t helped: kitchen cabinets and door frames were unnaturally warped and barely useable; holes were in and in two cases <em>through</em> the walls from where heavy objects had been hurled at them; there was hardly an intact piece of glass <em>anywhere</em> in the entire building.</p><p>But as Sam stood in the hallway and looked around: his mind still focused on the four bedrooms, three bathrooms (one ensuite), dining room, large kitchen and a sitting room with full length French windows that, once repaired and re-hung, would open out onto a huge established if <em>majorly</em> overgrown jungle of a garden with a patio and access to the attached double garage…</p><p>… shit, it was his dream home. He had always <em>dreamed</em> of living in a house like this.</p><p>“This okay, Sammy?”</p><p>The younger man turned to find his brother and niece both watching him: Evie up securely in her daddy’s arms but staring at her uncle every bit as intently as her father was. Sam glanced at Dean, saw the other man’s underlying anxiety and nervousness as to <em>his</em> response… and instantly forgot all his pettiness about how it had all come about. “It’s <em>beautiful</em>. It really is. You’re right, it needs a lot of work but we’re going to make it <em>perfect</em> for that little girl to grow up in.”</p><p>Dean’s relief was palpable. Sam couldn’t help himself from stepping in for a hug, wrapping his arms around both father and daughter, and laughing as Castiel immediately took the chance to also join in and make it a four-way embrace. “There are flowers open everywhere outside: their scents are carrying throughout the entire area and the bees are singing in harmony. It is even more perfect than my father’s garden in heaven and I do not say that <em>lightly</em>.</p><p>We will be happy here, Dean Winchester.”</p><p>“We will indeed.” His friend agreed.</p><p>And Sam nodded in agreement as his brother’s eyes found his own: “Let’s get to it.”</p><p>It took longer than they thought to renovate the house as it turned out that there was even more work to be done than could be seen at first sight. And although Castiel was able to ‘mojo’ a few of the more serious internal problems away (such as the black mould which turned out to have had <em>far</em> more of a hold on the integral structure of the building than had first been realised), all the men understood that a house suddenly altering miraculously overnight from a near ruin to looking as good as it had been when newly-built would <em>definitely</em> be noticed in the community.</p><p>And also because Dean had made a second decision. <em>He</em> was going to get a job as well as it wasn’t fair for his younger brother to have all the financial pressure and… well… he needed to do something. As much as he adored being at home with his beautiful daughter, Dean <em>needed</em> to <em>do</em> something.</p><p>A quick phone call to his old boss from when he had lived with Lisa provided him not only with a contact name in a building firm local to Lebanon, but also he got a willing, and for the first time ever in his life, <em>genuine</em> referee. Dean had spent a whole year doing construction and had gotten a name as a good and reliable worker. Soon enough, he was out on the local building site and bringing in a good regular wage.</p><p>More importantly, he was <em>happy</em>.</p><p>Sam couldn’t help but grin to himself: all those years of his brother denying that he had <em>ever </em>wanted anything different from doing the ‘family business’ and here Dean was… completely enthused about coming home with aching limbs, blistered hands, a paycheque every week, and his little girl running to greet him as he came through the door…</p><p>Dean’s absence during the day made the work on the house take longer, but in a couple of months they had managed to clear the ground floor of the house and make it presentable enough for a few of Evie-Marie’s toddler and baby friends, and their mothers and one father, to come and join her on the weekend nearest to her first birthday. The brothers had also cleared the patio and grassed part of the garden and erected a large gazebo for cover in case of rain, but actually the day proved to be pleasantly warm enough for the small gathering to sit outside: the young children all playing happily together with soft toys on rugs on the ground and smooshing the frosting from small pieces of cake into the grass, toys and each other’s clothes.</p><p>What was even more special to Dean though, was the day of his little girl’s first birthday itself. Not only were Benjamin and probably the entire existing members of the Pawnee tribe invited and all arrived in the morning to seemingly completely fill the whole of the Bunker with lots of noise and excitement, but also the few people that he considered to be his ‘family’ had made the effort to be there. Jodie and Alex came down from Sioux Falls and Claire arrived from goodness knows where with a huge cuddly pink rabbit as a present. She immediately hit it off with Charlie, who had first found her way to the Bunker a couple of days after Evie had been born and had taken to dropping in every few weeks since, bringing increasingly larger versions of batman outfits for the child she considered her niece (and usually pizza for everyone else).</p><p>Yes, that day was incredibly special to Dean. So much so that the rich and aromatic scent of contented omega filled the entirety of the vast underground space for more than a few days following.</p><p>More time passed.</p><p>Evie-Marie had two more birthdays and got seemingly more precocious every day. She was very strong-willed, had her father’s sense of right and wrong and would stand up for any other child that she felt was being unfairly treated, which had both Dean and Sam despairing that she was going to be in constant trouble with the teachers when she got to school.</p><p>She was also completely fearless and such a tom-boy that all the other little boys in the entire <em>world</em> would be put to shame by her daring (not that Dean was going to be likely to let any little, or big, boys get <em>near</em> her when she grew up which Sam couldn’t help but grin at the thought of witnessing: his brother and niece both seemingly being equally stubborn).</p><p>The only thing that was possibly going to save Dean from a lifetime of stress with his daughter was that she absolutely <em>adored</em> him and was usually to be found where her daddy was: helping him with the cooking, or watching with interest as he repaired the engines of the cars in the garage or cleaned the hunting weapons, (always kept ready for use, just in case), or asking to be read a story which he would always do despite how tired he might be (and which both Sam and Castiel would both deny under torture that they always stopped what they were doing to listen to the deep voice relating the tale as well.)</p><p>She did spend time with the two other men in her life. She was obviously very intelligent and her uncle was very careful with much or how closely he let her watch him work on his laptop: he had a sense that she would use his machine for far worse than basic porn once she got older!</p><p>And Evie also loved spending time with Castiel in the garden. He had taken it on as ‘his’ job while the brothers concentrated on the house and talked to her as he worked, telling the eager little girl all about his father’s creations and how important to the balance of the world they all were, especially the bees.</p><p>Evie-Marie absorbed all this information like she was a living sponge. And it showed in her artwork. Her favourite thing was to sit with coloured pencils and try to draw everything, from black and yellow striped winged insects to squiggly versions of pentagrams and strange metallic-looking devices that Sam had no clue about how to praise but that Dean took one look at: “I think that’s a cylinder head!”</p><p>It had taken them the best part of eighteen months working around their respective jobs to complete the basic structure of the house and its permanent fittings such as the kitchen and bathrooms. Despite Sam’s often voiced concerns, Dean had obviously used some of his slightly more dubious methods to ensure that they had the money to do it up properly, but the younger Winchester was more than a little relieved when he met some of his brother’s new workmates and heard their complaints about continually losing at the Friday after-work poker sessions!</p><p>His own boss had kept his word and Sam was now a certified Book-Keeper after two years of hard work and study. They had celebrated the day he had received his certificate, and his brother had proudly gotten it framed for him to hang in the office where he worked.</p><p>Dean had also had a copy made and framed to hang on the wall of the house, alongside the certificate of his own newly passed GED. Aside from the built-in cupboards they had very little actual furniture: there were beds in each of the bedrooms plus Evie-Marie had a child-size vanity set. Downstairs was an old but comfortable sofa in front of the largest television set that Sam had ever seen: he had sighed at his brother in exasperation and received a smirk in response. There was an old wooden dining set in the kitchen, worn and marked enough for them not to worry about the little girl spilling glitter and glue all over it, and that was about it so far.</p><p>But it was their house and the rest of the nice things would come.</p><p>By now the brothers and angel were spending a few nights a week there as well to keep up appearances of ‘being normal’, (and Sam had brought a couple of possible girlfriends around to spend the night), but the concrete underground building was still <em>home</em> somehow.</p><p>Sam and Castiel would go off on the occasional hunt when there was no-one else in the vicinity to do it, leaving Dean behind which he <em>hated</em> but accepted somewhat begrudgingly every time: Evie-Marie must and would always be his first concern despite his inevitable worry over his brother and friend from the moment they left until the moment they returned. He would never tell the others but he always made sure to stay tight to the Bunker when they away, only ever leaving it for work purposes, just in case he was needed to hit the Men of Letters’ books and at least make himself useful that way. (His brother and the angel were never stupid enough to tell him that they both went away a lot happier knowing that the omega and his daughter were safely inside the walls of the warded and fortified building.)</p><p>The Bunker was also the place Dean needed to be when his Heats hit.</p><p>Luckily they had been in the building when his second one had occurred, about twelve months after the first and when Evie-Marie was about eighteen months old. It was the little girl herself who gave Sam and Castiel the warning: one minute she was happily playing with her favourite push-along doggy toy and the next, after just one whiff of her father’s pheromones wafting along the Bunker’s corridors, found her snatching up her comfort blanket and simply settling down on the floor to sleep.</p><p>“Evie honey?” Sam knelt to pick her up, surprised by her actions as it was usually a major battle to get her to take a nap. “You okay?”</p><p>The large green eyes opened sleepily to stare at him momentarily before closing again: “Dadad…. shhhh….”</p><p>“Sam!” The younger man turned, the toddler in his arms, as his brother stumbled up the stairs looking flushed and green in complexion all at once: “I think this… thing… is happening again. Can you call my work and tell them I‘ve got the flu or something? And can you look after Evie? And would you have… erm… would there be…”</p><p>“I put two new packs of batteries in your bedside drawer after last time.” Sam had already caught on. “I’ll call your boss and then I’ll bring you a tray to leave outside your room. And Dean…?”</p><p>But the other was already heading back down to his room, holding the wall with one hand. “I’ll be fine.”</p><p>“I know.” The younger man shouted behind him. “I was just wondering… do you think you might see Samuel again?”</p><p>His brother paused momentarily. “I… I have been. Quite often, Sammy. And I’m pretty sure that Evie sees him most nights as well. I’m sorry, I should have told you.”</p><p>But Sam was nodding thoughtfully: “She chatters away in her sleep to someone… I was worried at first but… I’m glad she’s knowing him.”</p><p>“Thanks, Sammy.”</p><p>The younger man looked down the steps at his brother and blinked back a tear at the soft, genuinely spoken words. “Just get yourself in there,” he smiled. “And make sure you stay hydrated!”</p><p>This Heat was nowhere near as bad as the last one for a few reasons: firstly Dean now knew what to expect; it only lasted three days … and most importantly, he did indeed meet his loving young mate again in the glowing blue version of his room to help him through the worst of it.</p><p>And for the next one a year later as well. And the year after.</p><p>By this time Dean had realised that they would be an annual event (which secretly he was incredibly relieved about, and he made sure to be somewhere near the Bunker when they were due.) He felt a lot safer hidden well out of sight of the rest of the world in general, and particularly from the watchful eyes of their ever-increasing circles of friends (and more importantly the parents of Evie’s little playmates, some of whom were <em>definitely</em> interested in getting to know the three ‘single’ men better and would often make unexpected visits to the house at short notice.) At least the construction company where he worked were okay with his occasional absence, especially as those were the only times that he ever <em>did</em> have to call in sick.</p><p>Once the little girl had turned two years old she had ceased to be affected by the scent of his Heat and would keep her sleeping patterns as per any other day, although she could always sense <em>hours</em> before her father when it was coming and actually would be more protective of him than even the others were.</p><p>In fact Evie-Marie would get quite aggressively cross if Sam or Castiel lingered longer outside Dean’s door than was necessary to bring him a fresh tray of food and would tell them quite pointedly every time that they shouldn’t be bothering her daddy: the younger Winchester couldn’t help but wonder if she was going to be an Alpha when she presented…</p><p>Sam also couldn’t help but dread how on earth were they <em>ever</em> going to get Evie to go to school when the time came if she was already this vigilant over keeping her omega father safe?</p><p>Yet more months passed.</p><p>They were all in the Bunker one Saturday afternoon.  Sam thought he had found a possible case and had wanted to use the Men of Letters books to research his theory behind the strange events going on in Florida. Castiel was helping him, while Dean and Evie-Marie were down in the kitchen cooking up something for dinner that smelt absolutely <em>amazing</em>.</p><p>It was incredible enough that the younger Winchester’s stomach was rumbling so much in anticipation that it was distracting him from the books. He sighed in exasperation and closed the one that he was looking at with a thud. “Hey Cas? Evie’s birthday is next month: what do you think we should do for it?”</p><p>“I was asking Dean about that.” The angel responded. “He wants to take her to spend a few days with Benjamin on the reservation: he thinks it’s expecting too much of the old man to come here since he had that stroke and it would be good for Evie to learn about their history…”</p><p>“Mmmm.”</p><p>“Sam, I know that you still have reservations about the man,” his friend couldn’t help but snort at Castiel’s unintentional pun, “but he means a great deal to your brother. <em>And</em> to your niece.”</p><p>“Mmmm.”</p><p>They were interrupted by a loud thumping at the heavy metal Bunker door.</p><p>Sam and Castiel stared.</p><p>First at each other and then up at the door.</p><p>On which somebody had just definitely knocked.</p><p>Extremely <em>loudly</em>.</p><p>“What the…”</p><p>The thudding noise came again: whoever was outside was extremely insistent. And seemingly determined to get the attention of whoever was <em>inside</em>.</p><p>Sam was reaching for his gun even as he began to carefully move up the steps. “Be ready,” he warned Castiel.  The words ‘to protect Dean and our little girl with your life’ didn’t need to be added.</p><p>Slowly he opened the door, ready to face who or whatever was outside…</p><p>And then he stared as a man moved into view…</p><p>A young man who was every inch as tall as he was, incredibly handsome with green eyes that reminded Sam immediately of both his brother <em>and</em> his niece, and dimples that went as deep as his own. And an extremely wide grin.</p><p>“Wow.” The stranger said. “I know I was told you were identical…  I mean I know my mom <em>is</em> identical… but… <em>wow</em>.” And then he was grabbing hold of someone standing just behind him and pushing forward a teen-aged boy, much smaller than the man but with the same eyes and dimples, straight past Sam and into the Bunker. “Come on, squirt!”</p><p>“Hey!” Sam stepped back and turned in a panic as somehow <em>both</em> the two strangers were now at the top of the steps and heading down them… well, the boy was. The man simply, and quite abruptly, leapt straight over the top of the railing, nearly exactly where Evie had so nearly come to grief just that short few years before, and landed easily on the floor below.</p><p>“What the f…?” Sam began even as the boy spoke with some considerable irritation: “Oh for Our Lady’s sake stop showing off!” and Castiel was stepping forward with determination to stop both of the intruders…</p><p>They were all interrupted by the sound of running footsteps. Two sets of running footsteps: heavy but quick treads and much lighter but equally hurried ones… and then Dean and Evie-Marie burst up the stairs that led to the rest of the Bunker and skidded to a sudden halt to each stare at the new arrivals in stunned disbelief…</p><p>“Samuel?” Dean’s voice was hardly more than a hushed whisper…</p><p>The young man stepped forward to meet him, reaching to tenderly hold the older Winchester’s face in his large but gentle hands and leaning down to rest their foreheads together, tears streaming down his stunning face. “I’ve found you. I’ve <em>found </em>you!”</p><p>Then Samuel was suddenly wrapping the omega in a tight, tight embrace and holding tightly: “Dean. Oh, my darling baby Alpha. I’ve finally found you!</p><p> I’m never letting you go again!”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>